From the land they call Erin, Here's a wish that I'm sharin' -- A toast to us all on this day of good cheer: May the road rise up to ya, And the wind not blow through ya, With your glass overflowing with green-colored beer! With green colored beer, With green colored beer, A toast to us all on this day of good cheer! Cheers to a Happy St. Patrick's Day
KETCHUP: Ahhh...now this is the life. MUSTARD: You said it, Ketchup...Nothin' like a picnic on the Fourth of July! KETCHUP: Yep, it's my day to shine! MUSTARD: Wait...Your day? You mean my day... KETCHUP: Get outta here. Everybody knows today's a day to celebrate all things American--Baseball, apple pie, and most importantly HOTDOGS! And what's better on a hot dog than me? Good ol' Ketchup! Woo-Hoo! I rock! MUSTARD: Have you lost your mind? I go perfect on a hot dog,not you! I mean, don't get me wrong, you're good on say, french fries--- KETCHUP: FRENCH fries?!? Did you just call me French?!? MUSTARD: Lighten up, K. All I'm saying is, I'm better on hot dogs, not you... KETCHUP: Noooo...I'm better. MUSTARD: I'm better. KETCHUP: No me. MUSTARD: Me! KETCHUP: ME! MUSTARD: ME!! KETCHUP & MUSTARD: MEEEEEE!! MUSTARD: Look, let's just say we're both good on hotdogs. After all, America's the great melting pot, right? The land of the free! Home of the brave! The beacon of light for generations of peoples to come together as one... KETCHUP: Plus we're not mayonnaise. KETCHUP and MUSTARD: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haa! Mayonnaise! What a joke! Nobody likes you! The worst! Etc. Hope your 4th of July can't be topped!
How the Easter Bunny Got His Job Easter Egg Delivery Specialist Tryouts Guy in Red Suit Next Please Dude in Diaper Thats not right. Short Green Guy Uh, thanks, well let you know. Ridiculously Large Bunny Perfect! When can you start? Just Wanted to Deliver an Easter Wish: Have a Good One!
10. O Holiday Tree 9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter 8. Frosty the Snowperson 7. Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-friendly, Non-toxic Outdoor Fire (for Which I Do Have a Permit) 6. Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 5. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over By an Unidentified Non-Human Perpetrator 4. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (If Office Policy Permits) 3. Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings 2. I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection 1. Ill Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December Hope your holiday rocks.
OK...Scary. Alright - 1, 2, 3, Go! I'm a scary bat, eek, eek eek, give me some candy or I'll bite some holes in you. Are you scared? No? OK. I am death at your doorstep. I'll get you my pretty. I am 100 years old - that's 700 in dog years. You were playing with the Ouija board and now you must pay! I am not a dog with a sheet, I am an evil ghost. Am I scaring you yet? How 'bout now? I saw you flinch! Boo! Eek! Rawr! Oh man. Mom, you're not making my costumes any more, I can't scare anybody. Wishing you a little fright on Halloween night!
It's Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for? I'm thankful for the extra naptime! I'm thankful for the extra leftovers! I'm thankful for this great disguise! I'm thankful for wonderful people like you! Wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving!
Cant wait for the date its nearly here. Love the mood, love the food at this time of year Need a plan for the clan when they gather near. Soon well dine on Thanksgiving Day! Time to shop, time to chop, time to stuff a bird. Roast and baste, salt to taste, check the temperature. Make the sides, bake the pies, keep the gravy stirred. Soon well dine on Thanksgiving Day. Turkeys done, got to run clean the mess and greet the guests, when they come to the door. Time to eat, find a seat, make a toast to our fine host (and check the football score!) Say the grace, keep the pace time to carve so we dont starve Do you want dark or light? Pass the peas and cranberries Got our eyes on the pies May we please take a bite? Were thankful for all that weve been given yes were thankful that if we overeat well be forgiven Cause thanks-giv-ing comes but once a year to celebrate with those so dear and we must state: That as our waistline expands, were grateful for our stretchy pants. Oh, snap! Were hoping that with all the bloat we dont look like a Macys float! Now its time for a nap. Tooooo-morrow when our coma lifts Its to the mall for Christmas gifts This holiday was off the hook, well worth the time and work it took! and look be sure you dont forget to kiss the cook! tag: However you spend it, hope your Thanksgiving is happy!
Your birthday's here, you've lived another year, the hugs and high-fives, too, They're all for you -- you know it's true. As every candle twinkles, The balloons and sprinkles, Yellow, red and blue -- They're all for you! They're all for you! Have a Sweet Birthday
Today is your birthday, an occasion of joy and glee, A national holiday it should be...SOON. I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be except for here to sing you this nice...TUNE. You were born... Long ago... Long ago. Long ago. Long ago. Long ago. Long ago. Long ago. So now, let's get started it's time for a party time for a blast a fine repast and lots of guests... It's a birthday, it's a party, pull your socks up, time for a blast. Let's go...get some CAKE! celebrate...with CAKE! party hats...and CAKE! cake...and more CAKE! It's time to celebrate, have a big piece of cake It's time to celebrate, have a big piece of cake Don't count your calories, we've spent our salaries on fancy birthday presents for you. La la la la la la, La la la la la la La la la la la la, La la la la Don't count your calories, we've spent our salaries on fancy birthday presents for you. So we will party till we have tummy aches I'll have some ice cream and lots of cake I want some cake I sure like cake... Oh! Lots oooooooooofff CAKE! La la la la la la, La la la la la la La LA LAAAAAAAAH!
Americans! Listen up! I want YOU to have a Happy Fourth of July. That's a request directly from your Uncle Sam. Go out and romp and frolic. Or if you're too tired, you can simply cavort. Or repose yourself upon the reclining object of your choosing. And don't forget to fire up that grill. Throw a horseshoe. Have a barbeque. Throw a horseshoe at the barbeque. I don't care. Just have fun. Indulge in your cold beverage of preference. And, by all means, enjoy some fireworks. Yes, Americans, I want YOU to celebrate Independence Day. Because without Independence Day, we'd all be drinking tea and eating crumpets and fish and chips like a bunch of Queen-lovin' pudding-slurpers! That's right. You heard me. Now get out there and have a Happy Fourth of July!
The 12 Dogs of Christmas -- Drummers drumming, Pipers piping, Lords a-leaping, Ladies dancing, Maids a-milking, Swans a-swimming, Geese a-laying, Golden rings, Calling birds, French hens, Turtle doves, Partridge in a pear tree Merry Christmas