Getting old Getting old Getting old today Count the years Face the truth Whats your body say? Stretch you back Crack your neck How you feel today? Getting old Getting old today Seen my keys? Ow, my knees! Whys the print so small? Hard to see Have to pee And that isnt all First Im hot Then Im cold Now I cant recall What I said Oh, the hell with it all Make a wish! Blow out the candles on your cake and dont leave anything to chance Cross your legs! Cause when youre laughing you dont want to accidently wet your pants. Forget about Calories and carbohydrates -- all the stuff that makes you fat Eat some cake The only clothing you will fit in later will just be your hat. Have a good Have a good Have a good Birthday That is all That is all That I have to say Ill repeat One more time Therefore, if I may Have a good Have a good Birthday!
I am a bird with no tomorrow Dont want to be the main entrees. I bid farewell before Thanksgiving to the place I was hatched and raised. For six fine months I had a free range, Eating bugs and whatever moved, I got fatter than a tree stump Now they want my head removed! Oh, fare you well my native farm land The place where I did eat so well. Ive got to plan for my survival I think Ill find me a hotel. Hope you survive another Thanksgiving.
Top 5 Life Lessons I Learned from The Easter Bunny 5. Break out of your shell. 4. Balance is the key to happiness. 3. Make each of your tasks a masterpiece. 2. Joy is in the air - you just need to catch it. and the #1 Life Lesson I Learned from the Easter bunny: 1. You gotta love a holiday that centers around chocolate. Happy Easter
The story of St. Patricks Day begins in Ireland On hillsides with the green, green grass Beneath the Irish sun. St. Patty put this grass of green in baskets he did weave, and filled them up with chocolate eggs For children to receive. uhm, actually, I think youve got it wrong, therelisten to thisahem. St. Pattys Day commemorates a date from long ago: The Pilgrims and the natives dined, on food that they did grow, along with fish and turkeys too, they ate their peas and corn, They later added football, and a holiday was born. NO...no...no ya eejit! Thats not it St. Padddys day is when the kids go around with their scary masks and Achhh! You doont have the sense you were born with, Lad, its when Santa comes down the chimn That shows what you know... Make no mistake about it Im wishing you a Happy St. Patricks Day! and then if the turkey sees his shadow... For some No Blarney Facts About St. Patricks Day, click any of the Shamrocks! sharmrock #1 St. Patricks Day is the annual feast of St. Patrick (circa AD 385-461), a patron saint of Ireland. According to legend, St. Patrick used the green three-leaf clover (the shamrock) to explain the holy trinity to the Christians of Ireland. This is how the wearing of the green became a tradition. sharmrock #2 Although an Irish holiday, the largest St. Patricks Day parade in the world is in New York City, where 150,000 marchers participate. sharmrock #3 The Chicago River is dyed green each year for St. Patricks Day. sharmrock #4 In Canada, the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Argentina and the US, St. Patricks Day is not an official holiday, but is widely celebrated.
Who is that pattering on the rooftop eight days in December (excluding the Sabbath)? Who is it that braves the freezing temperatures (without so much as a sweater) to deliver presents under the menorah? Who is it that noshes on your milk and rugelach in the wee hours of the night? Is it Santa? Is it a burglar? NO! It's Zayde Claus! This is why we don't have holiday characters. Happy Hanukkah!
has personalized this ecard by submitting a photo of you. You can personalize it by selecting the frame, background, and caption of your choice. Simply select from the options below and print! Select frame, select background, select caption and preview finished photo... April Fools!
Use your mouse to aim the Easter Bunny's slingshot at the baskets. PRESS and HOLD the mouse button to pull back on the slingshot. RELEASE the button when the crosshair turns green to shoot. START Oops! Only xx points. Try again! But, hurry up. Easter's coming... Not too bad. You finished with xx points! Hope your Easter is eggs-tra special! Great job! You finished with xx points! Hope your Easter is eggs-tra special!
This Thanksgiving's gonna be great -- Gonna see my Grandpa, and my sister Kate, Mom and Auntie Anna and perhaps my cousin Hannah. This Thanksgiving's gonna be great. This Thanksgiving's gonna be sweet -- With dressing, mash potatoes and some pumpkin pie to eat. I could write a pretty ballad 'bout my Grandma's green bean salad. This Thanksgiving's gonna be sweet. This Thanksgiving's gonna be great -- And it's my arrival, folks await. I'm grateful, to be clear, I've made it one more year This Thanksgiving's gonna be great! Hope your turkey day is a great one!
Whether your name is ODonnell, or Murphy, OConnor or Boyle, Or Gallagher, Gilroy or Campbell, Fitzgerald, McLaughlin or Doyle, If youre called Brennan or Daly, or Collins, OReilly or Dunn, or Sullivan, Craig or McConaughy, St. Paddys will surely be fun! Whether your family names Kelly, McCauley, ONeil or Quinn, McNally or Walsh or OCarroll, or Connelly or Donnelly, or Flynn, If an O is your first letter, or in your name starts with a Mc Have fun on this day, but be careful to no drink too much and get sick! Whether youre Moore or OMalley, ODougherty, Farell or Byrne, Or Wilson, or Hughes, or Maguire, or Kennedy, Kane or OHearn, If your names Lynch or McCarthy, or Cleary, or Burke or Malone, Or Ryan, OBrien, or Nolan, let somebody else drive you home! If Your Name is From the Isle, Heres Sending You a Smile! Happy St. Patricks Day!
I'm so flashy I'm so classy I'm a holiday sweater. I'm so chic and terrifique-- nothing says Christmas better! No one can miss me, looking so glitzy-- Have a real snazzy holiday! Celebrate in style and have a fabulous holiday!
Top Five Leprechaun Complaints Number Five This cereal is neither magical nor delicious! Number Four Its hard to hold your whiskey when youre built like a four-year-old. Number Three If I hear, Top o the mornin to ya! one more time, someones gonna get hurt! Number Two Every time I wash me leprechaun outfit, me entire laundry turns green! And the Number One Leprechaun Complaint Tiny little leprechaun. Tiny little shillelagh! Happy St. Patricks Day
Want to see how numbers can reveal something very special about your personality? Pick a number from 1 to 10 and click on that number. NEXT If your number is even, divide it by 2. NEXT If you number is odd, your may add 1, or subtract 1, then divide by 2. NEXT If your number is even, add 3. If you number is odd, add 4. NEXT Now, you have an option. You may multiply your new number by 2, or keep the number you have. Choose now. NEXT Here's another option. You may subtract 2 from your current number, or keep the number you have. Choose now. NEXT Got your number? Type it in the box. Click NEXT to see what this number reveals about YOU! Since you arrived at the number , this indicates that you must possess some basic math skills. Good for you. Happy April Fools Day, genius.
And now, in honor of Halloween, the Top 5 Scarecrow Complaints! Number 5 Every day its denim and flannel, denim and flannel. Number 4 Two words: Crow poop. Yeah, youre real brave when youre up there, huh? Come down here and well see how tough you are! Number 3 Everybody just assumes that you can dance like that Wizard of Oz scarecrow. And by the way, a brain aint the first organ ID be wishing for, you know what Im sayin? Number 2 This job would be a lot easier if I was packin heat. And the Number 1 Scarecrow Complaint... Youd be grumpy too if you had a broomstick up your a$$. Happy Halloween
Hey, you! American worker ! You who goes out every day and earns your paycheck by using your brain, your brawn, or your catlike instincts It is in your honor that we observe. Labor Day! To help celebrate, why not take the American Worker Labor day Quiz !
Li'l Critters Whoops! Those furry Li'l Critters have gone and escaped from their cage. They were last spotted heading towards a leafy forest glade. If you see one, click on it as fast as you can and put them all back where they belong. Catch 5 to win the game, but beware -- they can be tricky! April Fools! I told you they were tricky.
INTRO Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and you've been recruited to help Cupid sharpen his shooting skills. HOW TO PLAY Move your mouse to aim and click to shoot at the targets. Watch where you're shooting! The couples are already spoken for and there are some targets who don't seem all that interested in love. Hope Your Valentine's Day Is Right On Target
One evening on the bunny trail with cotton tails a-hoppin' I saw a ragged bunny, his big ears were a-floppin' But he smiled a big old smile although he coulda blown a gasket He said I'm happy 'cause I got to see the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, there's lots of jelly beans They're yellow, red, and purple, white, and orange and green, Some of them weigh twenty pounds, some are big as bricks, But you'll eat a lot, no matter what, Prepare to increase the size of your butt From the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, you'll see marshmallow chicks You chew their little heads off, and you'll need lots of toothpicks. The eggs are solid chocolate, their shells are made of gold. Oh the bunnies and the hens are chocolate friends They're neatly all contained in cellophane, (cont.) You'll eat them without thinking of the weigh you'll gain. You feel nauseated, but you can't abstain, Better get ready for abdominal pain From the Easter Candy Basket.
We have detected a compatibility issue between our server and your computer. To compensate, please turn up the volume on your speakers. (click to continue) The compatibility issue remains. Please turn up the volume on your speakers as high as possible. (Click to continue) I said... Happy April fools' day!!!!!
Punxsutawney Pummel It's Groundhog Day, and you know what that means -- if that lousy little rodent sees his shadow, it's 6 more weeks of winter for us! Click your mouse on the groundhog to swing your mallet and knock him out before he gets the chance to see his shadow. That stupid groundhog never had a chance! Spring is just around the corner! You let that critter out times. Keep your coat on! We've got 6 more weeks of winter!
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet Halloween will be here soon, we'll be howling at the moon-- If you're happy then shout "Happy Halloween!" Time to scare up some fun and have a Happy Halloween!