You're nowhere close to PASTURE prime, Yes, one CUD say yer youthful. And I'm not giving you some BULL, I'm UDDERLY quite truthful! So when I HERD yer birthday's near, I didn't need per-SUADE-ing To write a little MOOO-zic For this day yer celebrating: Happy Birthday to MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
YOUR BIRTHDAY: A SURVIVAL GUIDE Tip One: Be ready for anything. Tip Two: Attitude of Gratitude. Kitties and I crocheted you underwear. Wow. Um. Thanks? Tip Three: Drink. Repeat as needed. Lastly: Breathe. The longer you live, the more we can celebrate you. Happy Birthday
Your word is ancient. Ancient. What's the definition? Older than dirt, elderly, advanced in years. Can you use it in a sentence? The person viewing this card is ancient. Oh, I know that one. A-N-C-I-E-N-T, ancient. That's correct! Let me spell it out for you...happy birthday!
The story of St. Patricks Day begins in Ireland On hillsides with the green, green grass Beneath the Irish sun. St. Patty put this grass of green in baskets he did weave, and filled them up with chocolate eggs For children to receive. uhm, actually, I think youve got it wrong, therelisten to thisahem. St. Pattys Day commemorates a date from long ago: The Pilgrims and the natives dined, on food that they did grow, along with fish and turkeys too, they ate their peas and corn, They later added football, and a holiday was born. NO...no...no ya eejit! Thats not it St. Padddys day is when the kids go around with their scary masks and Achhh! You doont have the sense you were born with, Lad, its when Santa comes down the chimn That shows what you know... Make no mistake about it Im wishing you a Happy St. Patricks Day! and then if the turkey sees his shadow... For some No Blarney Facts About St. Patricks Day, click any of the Shamrocks! sharmrock #1 St. Patricks Day is the annual feast of St. Patrick (circa AD 385-461), a patron saint of Ireland. According to legend, St. Patrick used the green three-leaf clover (the shamrock) to explain the holy trinity to the Christians of Ireland. This is how the wearing of the green became a tradition. sharmrock #2 Although an Irish holiday, the largest St. Patricks Day parade in the world is in New York City, where 150,000 marchers participate. sharmrock #3 The Chicago River is dyed green each year for St. Patricks Day. sharmrock #4 In Canada, the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Argentina and the US, St. Patricks Day is not an official holiday, but is widely celebrated.
Top 5 Life Lessons I Learned from The Easter Bunny 5. Break out of your shell. 4. Balance is the key to happiness. 3. Make each of your tasks a masterpiece. 2. Joy is in the air - you just need to catch it. and the #1 Life Lesson I Learned from the Easter bunny: 1. You gotta love a holiday that centers around chocolate. Happy Easter
Cupid never misses the mark when hes hooking other people up, but some of his own pick-up lines? Well, you be the judge Whats your sign, honey? Mines the Archer, and I always hit the target, if you know what I mean Baby, once you go Cupid, the rest are just stupid. Whoa, is that an arrow in my diaper or am I just happy to see you? My Cloud 9 or yours? My name is Cupid, but you can call me the God of Love because I am, the God of Love. Really, it says so right here on my drivers license. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I do another flyby? Wanna go back to my well, crib? No, not working for ya? Well, baby, this will! Its Valentines Day - watch your back, Sweetie!
March seventeenth is what we call St. Patricks Day Shoemaking leprechauns hoard all their gold away Clovers with four leafs can make a Good Luck bouquet As we sing out the St. Patricks Chin Song. When Irish chins sing, its a song you can dance to, lad Whisky and lager can cheer you up if youre sad Pipes may be calling, but Murphys heads feeling bad Corned beef and cabbage is coming on strong. Red-headed lasses will ask you so freely, Is that your shillelagh or you glad to see me? A rainbow and pot of gold wait round the bend And if youre not Irish, well, you can pretend. Pubs barely open but Flanagans bleary-eyed Shamrocks and Blarney Stones got Kelly teary-eyed Father OMalleys on his second beer and rye As we sing loud the St. Patricks Chin Song. O lets lift a glass up to Cork and Kilkenny Wed name all the counties, but there are too many Our Irish Pride comes out of each nook and cranny When we sing out the St. Patricks Chin Song. Red-headed lasses will ask you so freely, Is that your shillelagh or you glad to see me? A rainbow and pot of gold wait round the bend If you like this stanza, well sing it again. Red-headed lasses will ask you so freely, Is that your shillelagh or you glad to see me? A rainbow and pot of gold wait round the bend And St. Patricks Day Chin Song has come to an end!
Li'l Critters Whoops! Those furry Li'l Critters have gone and escaped from their cage. They were last spotted heading towards a leafy forest glade. If you see one, click on it as fast as you can and put them all back where they belong. Catch 5 to win the game, but beware -- they can be tricky! April Fools! I told you they were tricky.
One evening on the bunny trail with cotton tails a-hoppin' I saw a ragged bunny, his big ears were a-floppin' But he smiled a big old smile although he coulda blown a gasket He said I'm happy 'cause I got to see the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, there's lots of jelly beans They're yellow, red, and purple, white, and orange and green, Some of them weigh twenty pounds, some are big as bricks, But you'll eat a lot, no matter what, Prepare to increase the size of your butt From the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, you'll see marshmallow chicks You chew their little heads off, and you'll need lots of toothpicks. The eggs are solid chocolate, their shells are made of gold. Oh the bunnies and the hens are chocolate friends They're neatly all contained in cellophane, (cont.) You'll eat them without thinking of the weigh you'll gain. You feel nauseated, but you can't abstain, Better get ready for abdominal pain From the Easter Candy Basket.
I'm pump pump pumped for Pumpkin day! I'll tell you somethin' The night is bumpin' the party's thumpin' and I am pumped, Yo 'cause I'm a pump-kin I feel the beat now let's trick or treat now I got some candy handy take it to the street now! I'm pump pump pumped for Pumpkin day! Oh Yeah, trick or treat. Yo! Happy Halloween!
Who is that pattering on the rooftop eight days in December (excluding the Sabbath)? Who is it that braves the freezing temperatures (without so much as a sweater) to deliver presents under the menorah? Who is it that noshes on your milk and rugelach in the wee hours of the night? Is it Santa? Is it a burglar? NO! It's Zayde Claus! This is why we don't have holiday characters. Happy Hanukkah!
I thought I'd seen the last of you, And you want to see the end of me, Well Honey, this turkey won't be deceased for your Thanksgiving feast (just listen to me now!) I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put away your roasting pan, I'm gonna miss out on being dished out, Hope mashed potatoes fill you up Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed You can have your yams and cranberries Have some pumpkin pie, but you can't have me! When the cookin' starts on that cold Thursday, This bold bird will be M.I.A. The main course has flown the coop. Drumsticks don't fail me now! I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put down that roasting pan, Yes I'm a winner, not your family dinner Hope the dressing is enough Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed (Get a cow if ya wanna chow!) (you want some protein? serve some beans!)
INTRO Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and you've been recruited to help Cupid sharpen his shooting skills. HOW TO PLAY Move your mouse to aim and click to shoot at the targets. Watch where you're shooting! The couples are already spoken for and there are some targets who don't seem all that interested in love. Hope Your Valentine's Day Is Right On Target
Getting old Getting old Getting old today Count the years Face the truth Whats your body say? Stretch you back Crack your neck How you feel today? Getting old Getting old today Seen my keys? Ow, my knees! Whys the print so small? Hard to see Have to pee And that isnt all First Im hot Then Im cold Now I cant recall What I said Oh, the hell with it all Make a wish! Blow out the candles on your cake and dont leave anything to chance Cross your legs! Cause when youre laughing you dont want to accidently wet your pants. Forget about Calories and carbohydrates -- all the stuff that makes you fat Eat some cake The only clothing you will fit in later will just be your hat. Have a good Have a good Have a good Birthday That is all That is all That I have to say Ill repeat One more time Therefore, if I may Have a good Have a good Birthday!
Punxsutawney Pummel It's Groundhog Day, and you know what that means -- if that lousy little rodent sees his shadow, it's 6 more weeks of winter for us! Click your mouse on the groundhog to swing your mallet and knock him out before he gets the chance to see his shadow. That stupid groundhog never had a chance! Spring is just around the corner! You let that critter out times. Keep your coat on! We've got 6 more weeks of winter!
Enter your name below: SENDER'S NAME Happy April Fools' Day! Exit. System Error. That's it?! OK. These emails don't just spontaneously burst into existence, you know. Programmers actually have to spend time coding these suckers. OK. I mean, really! Will a few more minutes of art appreciation hurt you? Think of the poor sap who sat at a desk, coloring this thing in. OK. And don't be too quick to forget about the nice person who sent you this email. Do you think they give these things away for free? No way - somebody shelled out big bucks for this baby. OK. Are You Sure? Are you positively SURE you want to exit this program? OK. Ok, then... Well, OK, then... OK. You're a Persistent One, Aren't You? If you really want to exit this program, I won't stop you. OK. Last One, I Promise! ...except to wish you a happy April Fools' Day one last time. OK. Honestly, This Is the Last One. Happy April Fools' Day! OK. Gullible. Boy, you'll believe anything you read, won't you? OK. Or is the button-pushing thing some kind of compulsion? OK. Hey, I don't have all day, you know! Do you want to exit this program or not?! OK. Then why didn't you say so in the first place?! OK. In honor of April Fools' Day, this complete waste of time has been brought to you by SENDER'S NAME .
Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . . Today is your birthday, Time for a soiree, Hip, hip hooray, Its a birthday rock! Another year older, A little less bolder, Toesre feelin colder, Its a birthday rock! For breakfast now its Bran Flakes, Loud and sudden wind breaks, Oh, Lordy, I get back aches, Its a birthday rock! On my plate is puree, On my head a toupee, Most evenings we do crochet, Its a birthday rock! Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . .