Getting old Getting old Getting old today Count the years Face the truth Whats your body say? Stretch you back Crack your neck How you feel today? Getting old Getting old today Seen my keys? Ow, my knees! Whys the print so small? Hard to see Have to pee And that isnt all First Im hot Then Im cold Now I cant recall What I said Oh, the hell with it all Make a wish! Blow out the candles on your cake and dont leave anything to chance Cross your legs! Cause when youre laughing you dont want to accidently wet your pants. Forget about Calories and carbohydrates -- all the stuff that makes you fat Eat some cake The only clothing you will fit in later will just be your hat. Have a good Have a good Have a good Birthday That is all That is all That I have to say Ill repeat One more time Therefore, if I may Have a good Have a good Birthday!
I thought I'd seen the last of you, And you want to see the end of me, Well Honey, this turkey won't be deceased for your Thanksgiving feast (just listen to me now!) I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put away your roasting pan, I'm gonna miss out on being dished out, Hope mashed potatoes fill you up Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed You can have your yams and cranberries Have some pumpkin pie, but you can't have me! When the cookin' starts on that cold Thursday, This bold bird will be M.I.A. The main course has flown the coop. Drumsticks don't fail me now! I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put down that roasting pan, Yes I'm a winner, not your family dinner Hope the dressing is enough Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed (Get a cow if ya wanna chow!) (you want some protein? serve some beans!)
We have detected a compatibility issue between our server and your computer. To compensate, please turn up the volume on your speakers. (click to continue) The compatibility issue remains. Please turn up the volume on your speakers as high as possible. (Click to continue) I said... Happy April fools' day!!!!!
YOUR BIRTHDAY: A SURVIVAL GUIDE Tip One: Be ready for anything. Tip Two: Attitude of Gratitude. Kitties and I crocheted you underwear. Wow. Um. Thanks? Tip Three: Drink. Repeat as needed. Lastly: Breathe. The longer you live, the more we can celebrate you. Happy Birthday
Its Halloween and the ghosts are out. Pair up the different ghosts in the haunted house before the cauldron comes to a boil and you get a special treat. Otherwise, you get a scary trick! You WIN! Happy Halloween! Oh, well. Try Again, and have a Happy Halloween!
Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . . Today is your birthday, Time for a soiree, Hip, hip hooray, Its a birthday rock! Another year older, A little less bolder, Toesre feelin colder, Its a birthday rock! For breakfast now its Bran Flakes, Loud and sudden wind breaks, Oh, Lordy, I get back aches, Its a birthday rock! On my plate is puree, On my head a toupee, Most evenings we do crochet, Its a birthday rock! Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . .
And now, in honor of Halloween, the Top 5 Scarecrow Complaints! Number 5 Every day its denim and flannel, denim and flannel. Number 4 Two words: Crow poop. Yeah, youre real brave when youre up there, huh? Come down here and well see how tough you are! Number 3 Everybody just assumes that you can dance like that Wizard of Oz scarecrow. And by the way, a brain aint the first organ ID be wishing for, you know what Im sayin? Number 2 This job would be a lot easier if I was packin heat. And the Number 1 Scarecrow Complaint... Youd be grumpy too if you had a broomstick up your a$$. Happy Halloween
has personalized this ecard by submitting a photo of you. You can personalize it by selecting the frame, background, and caption of your choice. Simply select from the options below and print! Select frame, select background, select caption and preview finished photo... April Fools!
Feeling overshadowed by other holidays, the leprechauns are out for a little revenge. Help them toss their rival holiday mascots across the magical forest. HOW TO PLAY As the leprechauns gain speed, press and hold the left mouse button to set your "toss angle" before the leprechauns get to the wall. Release the mouse button to toss before the arrow points to red. Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I am a bird with no tomorrow Dont want to be the main entrees. I bid farewell before Thanksgiving to the place I was hatched and raised. For six fine months I had a free range, Eating bugs and whatever moved, I got fatter than a tree stump Now they want my head removed! Oh, fare you well my native farm land The place where I did eat so well. Ive got to plan for my survival I think Ill find me a hotel. Hope you survive another Thanksgiving.
Top 5 Life Lessons I Learned from The Easter Bunny 5. Break out of your shell. 4. Balance is the key to happiness. 3. Make each of your tasks a masterpiece. 2. Joy is in the air - you just need to catch it. and the #1 Life Lesson I Learned from the Easter bunny: 1. You gotta love a holiday that centers around chocolate. Happy Easter
Your word is ancient. Ancient. What's the definition? Older than dirt, elderly, advanced in years. Can you use it in a sentence? The person viewing this card is ancient. Oh, I know that one. A-N-C-I-E-N-T, ancient. That's correct! Let me spell it out for you...happy birthday!
Top Five Leprechaun Complaints Number Five This cereal is neither magical nor delicious! Number Four Its hard to hold your whiskey when youre built like a four-year-old. Number Three If I hear, Top o the mornin to ya! one more time, someones gonna get hurt! Number Two Every time I wash me leprechaun outfit, me entire laundry turns green! And the Number One Leprechaun Complaint Tiny little leprechaun. Tiny little shillelagh! Happy St. Patricks Day
a little song just for you from the Moo-nicorn What you did's unusual -- Exceptional, and rare! You're awesomely uncommon, Not just found most anywhere. That's why this little song for you Was carefully designed to tell you quite uniquely you are one-of-a-kind! Thank you for being You
Were vampires, were monstrous blood-sucking undead, So lets laugh, lets celebrate, lets toast to Halloween In life you go round only once, someone said, But it wasnt us or our zombie friends who will eat your spleen. Some think its all about the Trick or Treating, Going door to door in the darkness of night, To us it makes more sense just meeting To get together for a quick bite The townsfolk with torches are all nervous wrecks They have garlic and wooden stakes but they have to live in fear So lets sink our fangs into some peasant necks and rejoice that Halloween is finally here. Here! Here! Halloweens finally here! Here! Here! Into hearts lets strike fear! It is here lets strike fear fangs will bite cause tonights HALLOWEEN! Hope Your Halloweens a Classic!
Well, honor your partner, step to the side, Smooth out your feathers, straighten your hide, The cows have come home and the chickens just flew in, The Birthday Hoedown is what we're doin'! Make a birthday wish, then wish some more, We're gonna do-si-do until we're sore. Grab your partner by the hoof or a wing, Now promenade, let's see you swing. Here's a birthday wish, warm and sincere - Have a happy birthday and a happy year. Now blow out your candles, go have some cake - Take your time - we need a break. Happy Birthday!
How Dogs Celebrate Easter 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. (You know...pretty much like every day!) Hope your Easter is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)
Whether your name is ODonnell, or Murphy, OConnor or Boyle, Or Gallagher, Gilroy or Campbell, Fitzgerald, McLaughlin or Doyle, If youre called Brennan or Daly, or Collins, OReilly or Dunn, or Sullivan, Craig or McConaughy, St. Paddys will surely be fun! Whether your family names Kelly, McCauley, ONeil or Quinn, McNally or Walsh or OCarroll, or Connelly or Donnelly, or Flynn, If an O is your first letter, or in your name starts with a Mc Have fun on this day, but be careful to no drink too much and get sick! Whether youre Moore or OMalley, ODougherty, Farell or Byrne, Or Wilson, or Hughes, or Maguire, or Kennedy, Kane or OHearn, If your names Lynch or McCarthy, or Cleary, or Burke or Malone, Or Ryan, OBrien, or Nolan, let somebody else drive you home! If Your Name is From the Isle, Heres Sending You a Smile! Happy St. Patricks Day!
I'm so flashy I'm so classy I'm a holiday sweater. I'm so chic and terrifique-- nothing says Christmas better! No one can miss me, looking so glitzy-- Have a real snazzy holiday! Celebrate in style and have a fabulous holiday!
a little song just for you from the Moo-nicorn You're something quite unusual -- Exceptional, and rare! You're awesomely uncommon, Not just found most anywhere. That's why this little song for you Was carefully designed to tell you quite uniquely you are one-of-a-kind! Thanks for being You
Your birthday's here, you've lived another year, the hugs and high-fives, too, They're all for you -- you know it's true. As every candle twinkles, The balloons and sprinkles, Yellow, red and blue -- They're all for you! They're all for you! Have a Sweet Birthday