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ecard: Top Ten Reasons This Is Late

I was out collecting cans and bottles along the roadside and, well...time just flew.
I took a bullet for the president and have just regained consciousness.
I didn't want to be the first to remind you that you're another year closer to the big sleep.
Just gave birth to septuplets.
I was busy conducting sensitive negotiations that may, at long last, bring peace to our troubled planet.
I've just emerged from surfing on the internet, non-stop, for 359 days. (I think that's a record.)
I'm tired...I'm so very tired.
I was arrested after getting into an express line
with 13 items.
I was stricken with a very specific form of amnesia that affected only my ability to remember birthdays.

And the number one reason this birthday greeting is late...

I'm thoughtless and I don't deserve to live.
(It may sound harsh, but it needed to be said.)



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ecard verse:

Top Ten Reasons that this Birthday Greeting Is Late… 10. I was out collecting cans and bottles along the roadside and well…time just flew. 9. I took a bullet for the president and have just regained cons...

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complete verse:

Top Ten Reasons that this Birthday Greeting Is Late… 10. I was out collecting cans and bottles along the roadside and well…time just flew. 9. I took a bullet for the president and have just regained consciousness. 8. I didn't want to be the first to remind you that you're another year closer to the big sleep. 7. Just gave birth to septuplets. 6. I was busy conducting sensitive negotiations that may, at long last, bring peace to our troubled planet. 5. I've just emerged from surfing on the internet, non-stop, for 359 days. (I think that's a record.) 4. I'm tired...I'm so very tired. 3. I was arrested after getting into the express lane with 13 items. 2. I was stricken with a very specific form of amnesia that affected only my ability to remember birthdays. And the number one reason this birthday greeting is late... I'm thoughtless and I don't deserve to live. (It may sound harsh, but it needed to be said.) Happy Belated Birthday!

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