I wanna grow up and get a job where I work twice as hard as a man for half the pay. When it came to her life's ambition, Suzie was a realist. Have a Nice Day (...now get back to work!)
The threat is real. In homes across the world At any moment Without warning Renegade hormones can ATTACK! That's why the Homelife Security PMS Advisory System was developed. The Homelife Security PMS Advisory System is designed to help often-complacent males recognize the PMS warning signs and become better prepared in the event of an attack. SEVERE - Secure objects that may be thrown. - Hide all sharp implements. - Hide yourself. - Close windows (so that neighbors can't hear ranting, raving, and crying) - Be prepared to flee at a moment's notice. HIGH - Expect wild mood swings. - Bloating may cause attacks on closets, drawers, and significant others. - Keeping your mouth shut is a solid contingency plan. - Stock large quantities of chocolate. ELEVATED - You may think it's only "that time," but PMS attacks can occur spontaneously. - Avoid flip comments and lame attempts at humor. - Approach with caution. - Be prepared for general weepiness. - Memorize escape routes. GUARDED - Hormones happen. - You can relax somewhat, but it's wise to be on guard! - Review emergency procedures. - Practice protective responses such us ducking and groveling. LOW - The evil twin has disappeared.(That was sooo last week) - Things are calm and normal behavior patterns reestablished. - Apologies are accepted and all is well - for now! Just remember - hormones are out there, AND THEY KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! No cause for alarm - Just saying "Hi."
There are Some things a girl can live without (Click my purse to find out what they are.) Fantasy Lingerie, Panty Hose, A Clock, A Scale, A Mirror, High School yearbook photo, Size I dress, Ex-boyfriend's photo but You're not one of 'em.
Some meetings are fashioned by chance, Surely ours was a gift of fate. Having you in my life is a treasured gift to my soul. Our friendship is forever.
This is me. This is me with PMS. This is me with a zit. This is me cloned. This is me surfing EBay. This is me with a bad fake tan. This is me circa 1977. This is me retaining water. This is me in a high school. This is me with a face lift. This is me without electrolysis. This is me with a mullet. This is me with a vibrating cell phone. This is me morphed with a chicken.
Every year, Im a little more grateful for everything we share, for the memories between us, the good times ahead of us, and the special place you will always have in my heart. Thinking of you with a smile.