Dont be surprised if a cute policeman shows up at your door and suddenly goes into a strip-tease. I sorta put the word out at City Hall that you were easy. Have fun on your birthday!
A special little tune just for you
Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low?
That song's not so funny anymore!
Happy birthday, anyway
Hey Sweetie, what do you say we pop open a bottle of Crystal and trip the light van fantastic. Are those your eyes, or did I just dive into two crystal blue oceans? Did I mention I have a boat? Does heaven know it's missing an angel? I don't need Viagra, baby, I'm all man. Don't even know how to use it. I just cashed in my kids' trust funds, let's go to Cabot. I just had my back waxed, and that always makes me horny, baby. Aahh, I'm livin' the good life. I can do a hundred push ups. Want to see me do it? Sometimes losing your vision and hearing can be a good thing.
Suburban Myth #44 Your birthday should be all about you. After you've finished carpool, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, school projects soccer practice, making your own cake... Happy Birthday!