SENTIMENT P.1 How Dogs Celebrate Valentine's Day 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Hope your Valentine's Day is just as much fun! (Except for the 'poopy' thing.) 10. Roll around in filth, then lavish Master with kisses.
Wellllllllllllllllllllll theres Cabbage and shamrocks and Irish hearts prancing and claddagh rings (dandy for handy romancing) and lucks all around us with leprechauns dancing plus lots of good wishes for Saint Patricks Day Theres wolfhounds and Guinness and music quite airy and corned beef a-cooking and smiles all merry parades in the morning from Dublin to Derry plus happy good wishes for Saint Patricks Daaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Oh (recipient's name) Here's a very special birthday song Made just for you by (sender's name) Let's all sing along! We'll celebrate, but not with cake, Just blow out all the candles On your (recipient's favorite food) More fun than you can handle! Oh (recipient's name) You're *turning (recipient's age) today! So hope all your birthday wishes come your way-- Have a Happy Birthday! It's your birthday-- find your happy place!
We do it all because we're dads. Because we're dads! Because we're dads! We do it all because we're dads! Well Mr. Construction Is what my friends call me 'Cause all of the jobs I do are so manly, But find me at home And you'll probably see I'm the number one client at my daughter's tea party. If it's broken, we can fix it Duct tape makes it all work fine. There's no need to read a recipe -- They're just a waste of time. Do not tell Mom! We're your biggest fan, we know the score to every game you play, If your diaper's kinda smelly, Well, we'll make it go away. We don't mean to embarrass you when driving you to school... Because we're dads! Because we're dads! We do it all because we're dads! Because we're dads! Because we're dads! We do it all because we're dads! Happy "Dads" Day!
Hey, I know how much you like getting the latest tech stuff, so for Father's Day I searched all over the web and got you something really special! This electronic greeting! (it's the most advanced model they had) Hope you like it! Happy Father's Day
There's the kinda strong Like a country song When the lead guitar's on fire. There's the kind like a fighter Or a rodeo rider There's the kind like a steel-belt tire. There sure are lots of different Kinds-a strong -- that's surely true, But none compare, any time anywhere To a DAD STRONG dude like you! Chorus: DAD STRONG! Dad strong! ...and it fills our hearts with gratitude. DAD STRONG! Can't be wrong! ...with a thousand watts of DAD-i-tude. DAD STRONG! Can I get an oh yeah? Happy Father's Day!
Aint got no room for haters Cuz Im spreadin the love As Im rainin down my arrows From the heavens above When I send one in the air, its like an angel chorus sings Cuz I got ice on my nappies & bling on my wings. See, Im Q to the P to the I to tha D My aim is true, and yall agree Yeah, Q to the P to the I to tha D Its Valentines Day, yall, thanks to me. Yea, February One-Four is my day to shine Seen around the world on lotsa Valentines Blessin all yer candy hearts with my Heavenly flows, & Lyrics silky-smoother than a thorn-less rose. Do my fly-bys, then sip up on some pink champagne, In My Crib on Cloud Nine Just off of Lovers Ln. See, Im Q to the P to the I to tha D My aim is true, and yall agree Yeah, Q to the P to the I to tha D & Thats My Valentines Rapping Spree. Happy Valentine's Day, Yo!
A Dad is An Amazing Man... When he sits in a recliner, IT gets relaxed. He wouldn't mind showing his feminine side...if he had one. No shirt, no shoes---he always gets service. He once asked for directions...just kidding. Google once asked him to find something. He doesn't cut the grass. The grass bows to him. Happy Father's Day to an Amazing Man!
You're nowhere close to PASTURE prime, Yes, one CUD say yer youthful. And I'm not giving you some BULL, I'm UDDERLY quite truthful! So when I HERD yer birthday's near, I didn't need per-SUADE-ing To write a little MOOO-zic For this day yer celebrating: Happy Birthday to MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It's time to get funky, (recipient's name)! Yow! Hey! Hey! Hey! Come on! We gotta, gotta sing about (special occasion)! Let's celebrate! This is gonna be great! Cut loose! And go (favorite activity) You're the greatest one around! Put on your (favorite clothes) Can you dig what I'm puttin' down! Let's get funky! Wow! I'll say it again (special occasion)! Wow! Hear me now! Have a funkadelic day!
It's Halloveen... and I just vanted to say... Hello my baby Halloveen evening Happiest day all year. I've been cooped up enough, Tonight I can strut my stuff. Halloveen candy, It's mighty dandy -- The party is here Music is in the air Tonight we spook and scare. Pumpkins are lighted, We're all excited, Raise up a glass of cheer, I've got to catch a flight! Have an amazing night! Wishing you a SPOOK-tacular Halloween
Gray hair -- and lots of wrinkled skin that's sagging, Just when in the world did this begin? I swear! If I'm not sleeping, then I'm dragging! This phase of life will do me in! Goodness, gracious! Why am I so tired? All the aches and pains that I've acquired Seem to sap my very will -- I need a nap -- I need a pill! Hand me down my shawl, 'cause I'm afraid I've caught a chill. Holy moly! Why are we so tired? Seems our lifetime battery's expired. As sure as ocean leads to shore, As sure as dinnertime's at 4! We'll need a second wind before we rest FOR EVER-MORE! Hope your birthday is a classic!
Oh, kiss me I'm Irish, It's grand being green! Whether just for the day or forever. We've got all the blarney, We've got all the luck, We're witty, good-looking and clever! Oh, kiss me I'm Irish, It's fun being green! We're charming, outspoken and friendly, There's two types of people: There's those who are green, And those who are just green with envy! Happy St. Patrick's Day!
KETCHUP: Ahhh...now this is the life. MUSTARD: You said it, Ketchup...Nothin' like a picnic on the Fourth of July! KETCHUP: Yep, it's my day to shine! MUSTARD: Wait...Your day? You mean my day... KETCHUP: Get outta here. Everybody knows today's a day to celebrate all things American--Baseball, apple pie, and most importantly HOTDOGS! And what's better on a hot dog than me? Good ol' Ketchup! Woo-Hoo! I rock! MUSTARD: Have you lost your mind? I go perfect on a hot dog,not you! I mean, don't get me wrong, you're good on say, french fries--- KETCHUP: FRENCH fries?!? Did you just call me French?!? MUSTARD: Lighten up, K. All I'm saying is, I'm better on hot dogs, not you... KETCHUP: Noooo...I'm better. MUSTARD: I'm better. KETCHUP: No me. MUSTARD: Me! KETCHUP: ME! MUSTARD: ME!! KETCHUP & MUSTARD: MEEEEEE!! MUSTARD: Look, let's just say we're both good on hotdogs. After all, America's the great melting pot, right? The land of the free! Home of the brave! The beacon of light for generations of peoples to come together as one... KETCHUP: Plus we're not mayonnaise. KETCHUP and MUSTARD: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haa! Mayonnaise! What a joke! Nobody likes you! The worst! Etc. Hope your 4th of July can't be topped!
How the Easter Bunny Got His Job Easter Egg Delivery Specialist Tryouts Guy in Red Suit Next Please Dude in Diaper Thats not right. Short Green Guy Uh, thanks, well let you know. Ridiculously Large Bunny Perfect! When can you start? Just Wanted to Deliver an Easter Wish: Have a Good One!
10. O Holiday Tree 9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter 8. Frosty the Snowperson 7. Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-friendly, Non-toxic Outdoor Fire (for Which I Do Have a Permit) 6. Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 5. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over By an Unidentified Non-Human Perpetrator 4. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (If Office Policy Permits) 3. Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings 2. I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection 1. Ill Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December Hope your holiday rocks.
Who gets up each day, just to earn his pay? Who's fearless and dependable and true? Who's the MVP of his family? Dad is, that's who! If you need advice With some tech device, he's up to every task. If you're stuck, or you Need a buck or two? You only have to ask. Who should just unwind, have a rest, recline? Take a break from all he does the whole year through? Yes -- who's number one for the things he's done? Dad is, that's who Dad is -- that's YOU!! Relax -- you've earned it! Happy Father's Day