Americans! Listen up! I want YOU to have a Happy Fourth of July. That's a request directly from your Uncle Sam. Go out and romp and frolic. Or if you're too tired, you can simply cavort. Or repose yourself upon the reclining object of your choosing. And don't forget to fire up that grill. Throw a horseshoe. Have a barbeque. Throw a horseshoe at the barbeque. I don't care. Just have fun. Indulge in your cold beverage of preference. And, by all means, enjoy some fireworks. Yes, Americans, I want YOU to celebrate Independence Day. Because without Independence Day, we'd all be drinking tea and eating crumpets and fish and chips like a bunch of Queen-lovin' pudding-slurpers! That's right. You heard me. Now get out there and have a Happy Fourth of July!
OK...Scary. Alright - 1, 2, 3, Go! I'm a scary bat, eek, eek eek, give me some candy or I'll bite some holes in you. Are you scared? No? OK. I am death at your doorstep. I'll get you my pretty. I am 100 years old - that's 700 in dog years. You were playing with the Ouija board and now you must pay! I am not a dog with a sheet, I am an evil ghost. Am I scaring you yet? How 'bout now? I saw you flinch! Boo! Eek! Rawr! Oh man. Mom, you're not making my costumes any more, I can't scare anybody. Wishing you a little fright on Halloween night!
Well the mountain springs and the morning breeze are calling your name! Happy Birthday, Dear (recipient's name) It ring-ding-ding-ding-dings like music to my ears! Let's celebrate (xx Years)! Hope your birthday's guten! Come on and shake your booten! From my head down to my toes-en; every stitch of lederhosen, Wishes you a birthday beyond compare! May the sunlight sparkle in your (type of eyes), And the wind blow gently through your (type of hair)! Happy Birth-da-day-hee-hoo!
Hola "RECIPIENT" It's your birthday, we're here to party, And sing to you. It's from "SENDER" Hope you are bueno, the fun will rain-o The whole day through. From the gulf up to the mountains, The city lights and fountains, We hope you're birthday's excellente. Cuz today you're turning "AGE" So perhaps you should "ACTIVITY" Cuz today is your day Hola "RECIPIENT" You deserve a grand fiesta, And later on siesta, And the best of everything! Happy Birthday
There's the kinda strong Like a country song When the lead guitar's on fire. There's the kind like a fighter Or a rodeo rider There's the kind like a steel-belt tire. There sure are lots of different Kinds-a strong -- that's surely true, But none compare, any time anywhere To a DAD STRONG dude like you! Chorus: DAD STRONG! Dad strong! ...and it fills our hearts with gratitude. DAD STRONG! Can't be wrong! ...with a thousand watts of DAD-i-tude. DAD STRONG! Can I get an oh yeah? Happy Father's Day!
I wanna wanna wish you a happy birthday, I wanna wanna help you celebrate. I wanna wanna wish you lots of presents, I wanna wanna help you eat your cake. If you party party in the island way you be jammin' till the light of day. Your birthday birthday is your day to shine Another year and you be lookin' fine. So have no worries and don't hesitate, it's time to party party, time to celebrate. Hope your birthday's happy all day and all night!
From the land they call Erin, Here's a wish that I'm sharin' -- A toast to us all on this day of good cheer: May the road rise up to ya, And the wind not blow through ya, With your glass overflowing with green-colored beer! With green colored beer, With green colored beer, A toast to us all on this day of good cheer! Cheers to a Happy St. Patrick's Day
10. O Holiday Tree 9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter 8. Frosty the Snowperson 7. Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-friendly, Non-toxic Outdoor Fire (for Which I Do Have a Permit) 6. Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 5. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over By an Unidentified Non-Human Perpetrator 4. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (If Office Policy Permits) 3. Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings 2. I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection 1. Ill Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December Hope your holiday rocks.
I've got it for you baaaad and that's wooley, wooley good! You make my heart bleat faster if my meaning's understood... Don't be shy or sheepish 'cause if you haven't guessed I love when you're ram-bunctious, 'cause you're the very beeessst! It's time to flock together for some lovin' and sheep thrills... I'd like to fleece ewe, Baby-- And your every wish fulfill! Happy Valentine's Day
The 12 Dogs of Christmas -- Drummers drumming, Pipers piping, Lords a-leaping, Ladies dancing, Maids a-milking, Swans a-swimming, Geese a-laying, Golden rings, Calling birds, French hens, Turtle doves, Partridge in a pear tree Merry Christmas
Mother -- Chef -- Chauffer -- Employee -- Nurse -- Coach -- Cheerleader -- Tutor -- Maid -- Secretary -- Friend -- Happy Mother's Day to a woman who wears a lot of hats. --...which explains why you need so many shoes!
Oh (recipient's name) Here's a very special birthday song Made just for you by (sender's name) Let's all sing along! We'll celebrate, but not with cake, Just blow out all the candles On your (recipient's favorite food) More fun than you can handle! Oh (recipient's name) You're *turning (recipient's age) today! So hope all your birthday wishes come your way-- Have a Happy Birthday! It's your birthday-- find your happy place!
Happy April Fools' Day! Exit. System Error. That's it?! OK. Think About it. These emails don't just spontaneously burst into existence, you know. Programmers actually have to spend time coding these suckers. OK. Enrich Your Life! I mean, really! Will a few more minutes of art appreciation hurt you? Think of the poor sap who sat at a desk, coloring this thing in. OK. Be Considerate of Others. And don't be too quick to forget about the nice person who sent you this email. Do you think they give these things away for free? No way - somebody shelled out big bucks for this baby. OK. Are You Sure? Are you positively SURE you want to exit this program? OK. Ok, then... Well, OK, then... OK. You're a Persistent One, Aren't You? If you really want to exit this program, I won't stop you. OK. Last One, I Promise! ...except to wish you a happy April Fools' Day one last time. OK. Honestly, This Is the Last One. Happy April Fools' Day! OK. Gullible. Boy, you'll believe anything you read, won't you? OK. Other Explanation? Or is the button-pushing thing some kind of compulsion? OK. Enough, Already. Hey, I don't have all day, you know! Do you want to exit this program or not?! OK. Finally! Then why didn't you say so in the first place?! OK. In honor of April Fools' Day, this complete waste of time has been brought to you by .
These kids, they'll drive you straight into the nuthouse... and by the way, they shaved the dog. These kids, they think the world revolves around them... and by the way, the sink is clogged. And then, the principal would like to see you, What this concerns, you have no clue. And then, some person called who needed someone To volunteer... and now that's you. Mothers! Mothers! You have to do it all! Mothers! Mothers! You're there each time they fall.You're out of milk, you need a hug, The cat threw up on your new rug... |If only they all knew about the stuff that you go through.Mothers! Mothers! You cook, you clean, you work Mothers! Mothers! Trying not to go berserk! Kids need a ride, they want tattoos, They want two-hundred-dollar shoes! On Mother's Day, we thank you for the great things that you do.Hey! On Mother's Day we thank you for the great things that you do !Happy Mother's Day!
Attention! Attention! We're now in for a treat: A few members of the class are going to give a little Valentine's Day performance . . . V is for this very special day. A for all the sweets comin' our way. L is for the love we're gonna spread. E for every candy heart in red. N is for nummy chocolate-covered kisses. T as in those --- chewy gummy fishes. I is easy: I love peanut-butter cups. N for 'nilla ice cream and sweet, sticky syrups. E --- it's all edible, colored hearts as hard as teeth. S for smooth white-chocolate with raspberry down beneath. D for do you like our Valentine's Day song? A --- See this candy? We can eat it all day long. Yippeeeee!
What are you doing for Valentines Day? Some wear bright red outfits that are really hard to miss. Some prepare to pucker their lips as they try to steal a kiss. Some give special homemade gifts to people that they really adore. Some buy lots of chocolate from the chocolate candy store. Some go out for dinner, yeah to a place that's really chic. Some will spend a quiet evening dancing cheek to cheek. Some barely even celebrate. Some go all out, its true But have yourself a special day No matter what you do! Happy Valentines Day
Hey, I know how much you like getting the latest tech stuff, so for Father's Day I searched all over the web and got you something really special! This electronic greeting! (it's the most advanced model they had) Hope you like it! Happy Father's Day
How the Easter Bunny Got His Job Easter Egg Delivery Specialist Tryouts Guy in Red Suit Next Please Dude in Diaper Thats not right. Short Green Guy Uh, thanks, well let you know. Ridiculously Large Bunny Perfect! When can you start? Just Wanted to Deliver an Easter Wish: Have a Good One!
Lyrics: Its you-a day to celebrate, its you day to have-a-some fun With sweets and treats and you fav-or-ite eats, and youll have a wonderful one. Its you day to have-a you cake. It's you-a day to eat-a it too Its you-a day to get your way cause you-a birthdays all about you. With singing and greetings and festive proceedings, from morning till late in the day, Youre the star of the show and youre MAGNIFICO put the hip in the hip-hip-hooray! Its you-a day to celebrate, its you day to have-a-some fun With sweets and treats and you fav-or-ite eats, and youll have a wonderful one. Its you day to have-a you cake. Its you-a day to eat-a it too Its you-a day to get your way cause you-a birthday is all about you. Heres hoping your day may be MOLTO BENE* with wishes from all of your friends! And problems? Theyll be no with everything FINO** until-a you birthday it ends! Happy Birthday!
Passover's coming, Everyone's running, Preparing something for the Seder meal! Matzo-balls are stewing Chicken-soup is brewing, Everything we're doing With a special zeal! Quick, set the Seder plate, Hurry, it's getting late, Shank bone... roasted egg... Where's the bitter herb!? Cover the matzos up, Fill up Elijah's cup, Chop some potatoes up, Those will be superb! Oh! No! One hour to go! Make charoset and some moror! Sweep the kitchen! Wash the floor-or! Cut horseradish if you're able! Put Haggadahs on the table! Pour the wine! Pour the wine! Collapse... and... have... a... great... night! Happy Passover!