How Cats Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at first light. Sit on owner's face until they wake up. 2. Loudly demand birthday breakfast be served. 3. Shun two kinds of cat food. Shun owner, then grudgingly eat organic tuna. 4. Visit "magic box." Find conditions unacceptable. 5. Enjoy "private time" behind sofa. 6. Enjoy watching owner clean "magic box" and area behind sofa. 7. Practice the ol' yoga stretches. 8. Hork hairball into secret hiding place. 9. Stare at wall. Pretend to "see" something owner cannot. 10. Sleep for 18 hours. Start all over again. Hope your birthday is just as much fun!
Today's your birthday. I wish you many more, parties galore, fun till you snore. Time to celebrate this day for you. The day of your earthly debut! Blow out your candles then grab a balloon. And sing this birthday tune. Today's your birthday, we wish you many more, parties glaore, friendly rapport. Time to celebrate your special day. You're the first to go through the buffet! Open your presents then we'll be along to sing this birthday song!
Halloween comes once a year so shake a leg and get in gear don't even want to suck your blood just don't be fillin' my bag with crud gimme candy corn and I won't cry your candy better not suck! Apples are bad, pears are the pits popcorn balls give me green zits don't care if my teeth fall out candy's all I care about gimme candy corn and I won't cry your candy better not suck! Dim lights and close the door you won't like what I have in store you'll find out how low I'll stoop with a flamin' pile of werewolf poop gimme candy corn and I won't cry your candy better not suck!
Hey, amigo-- it's your lucky day! I've got a muy bueno song just for you! Ready? Alla vamos! What would you like-- chicken or beef? Today is your birthday, you have to believe! I wish you the best hope your day is just bueno. Feliz cumpleanos from your singing taco! Happy Birthday
Sometimes a holiday needs more than a few decorations. And sometimes you've got to be more than sweet to survive. "This could get a little sticky" This Fall, get ready for the sweetest thrill ride of the season, as this gang of unlikely heroes does whatever it takes to take Halloween back. With romance With action With drama This Halloween get caught up in The Sweet Escape... Because the days of these tasty treats getting tricked are over. Happy Halloween
I heard you're not feeling great, so I thought you should meet, Will, the e-male nurse. Time for another sponge bath. This warm oil massage ought to improve your circulation. Would you like a gin chaser for your four o'clock meds? Into bed with you, right now! I'll just take off my shirt and help you with that crossword puzzle. Get Will soon.
How Dogs Celebrate Easter 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. (You know...pretty much like every day!) Hope your Easter is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)
Today's is the birthday of someone I know Sometimes I call it 'b-day' just for short And sing a B-Day Ditty Yeah, a B-Day Ditty I sing the ditty in the city or I sing it on a country lane. Well, I like b-days cause I think they're fun I hope you like b-days cause you're the one I sing this B-Day Ditty Yeah, this B-Day Ditty Cause you're the one I sing this funny B-Day Ditty to. Hap-Hap-py B-Day Hap-Hap-py B-Day I say a hap, hap, hap, hap I say a pee pee pee pee I say a hap, hap, happy B-Day, Birthday to you Yeah, you're the one I sing this Happy B-Day Ditty to! Happy Birthday!
Break out the formula and stock up the diapers There's a party goin' on and we're all a little hyper We got a pimped-out ride, don't need no stroller Hey today's your birthday: you're another year older Don't-cha be illin' now bout' your age We babies think birthdays are all the rage It's time to give a holla' cuz you're such a nice person Ain't no-one more important since we stopped nursin' Everybody [WHAT!] Everybody in the crib! Everybody [WHAT!] Everybody wear a bib! Everybody in the crib for your birthday! Everybody in the crib for your birthday! Let's have a celebration fit for a king We've got sippy cups and pacifiers iced with bling We've got prime rib served as a fine puree It's a party mutha-[expletive] cuz today's your day! Well it looks like we may have to call it a night I just overheard we're runnin' out of baby wipes Shout out one last time "Happy Birthday to You" Then let's split before we all smell like drool and poo Yo! Sending a birthday shout-out to one of my favorite peeps!
Who is that pattering on the rooftop eight days in December (excluding the Sabbath)? Who is it that braves the freezing temperatures (without so much as a sweater) to deliver presents under the menorah? Who is it that noshes on your milk and rugelach in the wee hours of the night? Is it Santa? Is it a burglar? NO! It's Zayde Claus! This is why we don't have holiday characters. Happy Hanukkah!
The Official Passover Cooking Survival Guide. Day 1: Matzo with butter and jelly Day 2: Matzoball soup Day 3: Fried Matzo Day 4: Matzo melt Day 5: matzo muffin Day 6: Swedish matzo ball Day 7: Matzo with milk Day 8: Turkey matzo club and matzo a la mode Day 9: And last but not least... Happy Passover (and matzo luck making it through!)
How Dogs Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. Wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny-looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Hope your birthday is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)
You're 40! Do you realize that 40 years ago . . . Call waiting referred to a line outside a phone booth. A flat screen was something you put in your window to keep the insects out . . . An airbag was someone who talked too much. Spam was found only in the kitchen. A cell phone was what you used to make your one call from jail . . . and a birthday was something you actually looked forward to! Happy 40th Birthday
Feeling overshadowed by other holidays, the leprechauns are out for a little revenge. Help them toss their rival holiday mascots across the magical forest. HOW TO PLAY As the leprechauns gain speed, press and hold the left mouse button to set your "toss angle" before the leprechauns get to the wall. Release the mouse button to toss before the arrow points to red. Happy St. Patrick's Day!
How I tried to remember your birthday! I wrote the date upon my hand and also in a planner. I hired a plane to jog my brain by pulling a great big banner. I taped your picture on the fridge so thoughts of you would linger. And finally, I found some string . . . and tied it to my finger. But I must've tied it too tight, 'cause I cut off my circulation, passed out, and didn't come to until your birthday was over. Happy Belated!