10. O Holiday Tree 9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter 8. Frosty the Snowperson 7. Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-friendly, Non-toxic Outdoor Fire (for Which I Do Have a Permit) 6. Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 5. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over By an Unidentified Non-Human Perpetrator 4. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (If Office Policy Permits) 3. Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings 2. I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection 1. Ill Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December Hope your holiday rocks.
Passover's coming, Everyone's running, Preparing something for the Seder meal! Matzo-balls are stewing Chicken-soup is brewing, Everything we're doing With a special zeal! Quick, set the Seder plate, Hurry, it's getting late, Shank bone... roasted egg... Where's the bitter herb!? Cover the matzos up, Fill up Elijah's cup, Chop some potatoes up, Those will be superb! Oh! No! One hour to go! Make charoset and some moror! Sweep the kitchen! Wash the floor-or! Cut horseradish if you're able! Put Haggadahs on the table! Pour the wine! Pour the wine! Collapse... and... have... a... great... night! Happy Passover!
From the land they call Erin, Here's a wish that I'm sharin' -- A toast to us all on this day of good cheer: May the road rise up to ya, And the wind not blow through ya, With your glass overflowing with green-colored beer! With green colored beer, With green colored beer, A toast to us all on this day of good cheer! Cheers to a Happy St. Patrick's Day
The 12 Dogs of Christmas -- Drummers drumming, Pipers piping, Lords a-leaping, Ladies dancing, Maids a-milking, Swans a-swimming, Geese a-laying, Golden rings, Calling birds, French hens, Turtle doves, Partridge in a pear tree Merry Christmas
How the Easter Bunny Got His Job Easter Egg Delivery Specialist Tryouts Guy in Red Suit Next Please Dude in Diaper Thats not right. Short Green Guy Uh, thanks, well let you know. Ridiculously Large Bunny Perfect! When can you start? Just Wanted to Deliver an Easter Wish: Have a Good One!
Wellllllllllllllllllllll theres Cabbage and shamrocks and Irish hearts prancing and claddagh rings (dandy for handy romancing) and lucks all around us with leprechauns dancing plus lots of good wishes for Saint Patricks Day Theres wolfhounds and Guinness and music quite airy and corned beef a-cooking and smiles all merry parades in the morning from Dublin to Derry plus happy good wishes for Saint Patricks Daaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Americans! Listen up! I want YOU to have a Happy Fourth of July. That's a request directly from your Uncle Sam. Go out and romp and frolic. Or if you're too tired, you can simply cavort. Or repose yourself upon the reclining object of your choosing. And don't forget to fire up that grill. Throw a horseshoe. Have a barbeque. Throw a horseshoe at the barbeque. I don't care. Just have fun. Indulge in your cold beverage of preference. And, by all means, enjoy some fireworks. Yes, Americans, I want YOU to celebrate Independence Day. Because without Independence Day, we'd all be drinking tea and eating crumpets and fish and chips like a bunch of Queen-lovin' pudding-slurpers! That's right. You heard me. Now get out there and have a Happy Fourth of July!
Ready, OK! Here's a song for a Dad named (recipient) Give that man a trophy He's a Dad who know his stuff He really rocks (personal characteristic) He's a man who's really tough. He's a Dad who (favorite activity) Stand proud! Stand tall! He's a Dad who loves (favorite food) He's the greatest Dad of all! Gooooo Dad! Happy Dad's Day!
Moms are loving, Ever-caring, Really understanding, too. There with love when things go either Really good or bad for you. Even when you wouldn't wash up, Clean your room, or just say "please," Mom was there with love and guidance During trying times like these. Moms will always clap the loudest, When you've given it your all, Even when you were quite little, Mom made you feel 10-feet tall. So we honor Mom and thank her Each year on this week in May, And wish her with all our hearts A truly classic Mother's Day! Enjoy Your Day!
Attention! Attention! We're now in for a treat: A few members of the class are going to give a little Valentine's Day performance . . . V is for this very special day. A for all the sweets comin' our way. L is for the love we're gonna spread. E for every candy heart in red. N is for nummy chocolate-covered kisses. T as in those --- chewy gummy fishes. I is easy: I love peanut-butter cups. N for 'nilla ice cream and sweet, sticky syrups. E --- it's all edible, colored hearts as hard as teeth. S for smooth white-chocolate with raspberry down beneath. D for do you like our Valentine's Day song? A --- See this candy? We can eat it all day long. Yippeeeee!
What are you doing for Valentines Day? Some wear bright red outfits that are really hard to miss. Some prepare to pucker their lips as they try to steal a kiss. Some give special homemade gifts to people that they really adore. Some buy lots of chocolate from the chocolate candy store. Some go out for dinner, yeah to a place that's really chic. Some will spend a quiet evening dancing cheek to cheek. Some barely even celebrate. Some go all out, its true But have yourself a special day No matter what you do! Happy Valentines Day
Mother -- Chef -- Chauffer -- Employee -- Nurse -- Coach -- Cheerleader -- Tutor -- Maid -- Secretary -- Friend -- Happy Mother's Day to a woman who wears a lot of hats. --...which explains why you need so many shoes!
Happy April Fools' Day! Exit. System Error. That's it?! OK. Think About it. These emails don't just spontaneously burst into existence, you know. Programmers actually have to spend time coding these suckers. OK. Enrich Your Life! I mean, really! Will a few more minutes of art appreciation hurt you? Think of the poor sap who sat at a desk, coloring this thing in. OK. Be Considerate of Others. And don't be too quick to forget about the nice person who sent you this email. Do you think they give these things away for free? No way - somebody shelled out big bucks for this baby. OK. Are You Sure? Are you positively SURE you want to exit this program? OK. Ok, then... Well, OK, then... OK. You're a Persistent One, Aren't You? If you really want to exit this program, I won't stop you. OK. Last One, I Promise! ...except to wish you a happy April Fools' Day one last time. OK. Honestly, This Is the Last One. Happy April Fools' Day! OK. Gullible. Boy, you'll believe anything you read, won't you? OK. Other Explanation? Or is the button-pushing thing some kind of compulsion? OK. Enough, Already. Hey, I don't have all day, you know! Do you want to exit this program or not?! OK. Finally! Then why didn't you say so in the first place?! OK. In honor of April Fools' Day, this complete waste of time has been brought to you by .
These kids, they'll drive you straight into the nuthouse... and by the way, they shaved the dog. These kids, they think the world revolves around them... and by the way, the sink is clogged. And then, the principal would like to see you, What this concerns, you have no clue. And then, some person called who needed someone To volunteer... and now that's you. Mothers! Mothers! You have to do it all! Mothers! Mothers! You're there each time they fall.You're out of milk, you need a hug, The cat threw up on your new rug... |If only they all knew about the stuff that you go through.Mothers! Mothers! You cook, you clean, you work Mothers! Mothers! Trying not to go berserk! Kids need a ride, they want tattoos, They want two-hundred-dollar shoes! On Mother's Day, we thank you for the great things that you do.Hey! On Mother's Day we thank you for the great things that you do !Happy Mother's Day!
Hey, I know how much you like getting the latest tech stuff, so for Father's Day I searched all over the web and got you something really special! This electronic greeting! (it's the most advanced model they had) Hope you like it! Happy Father's Day
Easter Bunnies, we are Easter Bunnies Easter bunnies, that is what we are. Easter candy, we bring Easter candy Easter candy... I got some in my car! Chocolate eggs and jelly beans The finest Easter Day cuisine Chocolate eggs jelly beans Easter Day fine cuisine O-o-o-o-oh... Easter Bunnies, we are Easter Bunnies We hop along the Bunny Trail right into your backyard. Easter Bunnies, we are pink and fuzzy Pink and fuzzy, and we have big ears. Easter candy, we bring Easter candy Easter candy... We chose this for careers! Easter baskets, colored eggs We hop around on bunny legs Easter baskets colored eggs Hop around bunny legs Chocolate eggs jelly beans Easter Day fine cuisine O-o-o-o-oh... Easter Bunnies, we are Easter Bunnies Easter bunnies, that is what we are.
Greetings, greetings its our big day, Pink hearts filled with tasty treats. Were frosted and sprinkled in colorful jimmies, Now thats what we call good eats! We dare you resist us, Well parade around, in our finest foils and lace. Truffles and caramels and soft, gooey centers, Oooh, well melt all over your face. So, enjoy us enjoy us, Theres nothing better than a box of delicious sweets. Especially today Happy Valentines Day, Dont fret about your expanding, ahem, seat.
Thanks for being organized when others fail to be. Thanks for your performance and your punctuality. Thanks for all the things you do that others simply can't. Thanks for being cool and calm while others rave and rant. Thanks for doing mindless tasks that make you wanna swear. But, mostly, thank you very much for always being there! Happy Administrative Professionals Day
KETCHUP: Ahhh...now this is the life. MUSTARD: You said it, Ketchup...Nothin' like a picnic on the Fourth of July! KETCHUP: Yep, it's my day to shine! MUSTARD: Wait...Your day? You mean my day... KETCHUP: Get outta here. Everybody knows today's a day to celebrate all things American--Baseball, apple pie, and most importantly HOTDOGS! And what's better on a hot dog than me? Good ol' Ketchup! Woo-Hoo! I rock! MUSTARD: Have you lost your mind? I go perfect on a hot dog,not you! I mean, don't get me wrong, you're good on say, french fries--- KETCHUP: FRENCH fries?!? Did you just call me French?!? MUSTARD: Lighten up, K. All I'm saying is, I'm better on hot dogs, not you... KETCHUP: Noooo...I'm better. MUSTARD: I'm better. KETCHUP: No me. MUSTARD: Me! KETCHUP: ME! MUSTARD: ME!! KETCHUP & MUSTARD: MEEEEEE!! MUSTARD: Look, let's just say we're both good on hotdogs. After all, America's the great melting pot, right? The land of the free! Home of the brave! The beacon of light for generations of peoples to come together as one... KETCHUP: Plus we're not mayonnaise. KETCHUP and MUSTARD: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haa! Mayonnaise! What a joke! Nobody likes you! The worst! Etc. Hope your 4th of July can't be topped!
Thanks for being organized when others fail to be. Thanks for your performance and your punctuality. Thanks for all the things you do with never a complaint Thanks for being cool and calm and showing such restraint Thanks for multi-tasking when we have no time to spare But, mostly, thank you very much for always being there! Happy Administrative Professionals Day!