From the land they call Erin, Here's a wish that I'm sharin' -- A toast to us all on this day of good cheer: May the road rise up to ya, And the wind not blow through ya, With your glass overflowing with green-colored beer! With green colored beer, With green colored beer, A toast to us all on this day of good cheer! Cheers to a Happy St. Patrick's Day
OK...Scary. Alright - 1, 2, 3, Go! I'm a scary bat, eek, eek eek, give me some candy or I'll bite some holes in you. Are you scared? No? OK. I am death at your doorstep. I'll get you my pretty. I am 100 years old - that's 700 in dog years. You were playing with the Ouija board and now you must pay! I am not a dog with a sheet, I am an evil ghost. Am I scaring you yet? How 'bout now? I saw you flinch! Boo! Eek! Rawr! Oh man. Mom, you're not making my costumes any more, I can't scare anybody. Wishing you a little fright on Halloween night!
10. O Holiday Tree 9. Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter 8. Frosty the Snowperson 7. Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-friendly, Non-toxic Outdoor Fire (for Which I Do Have a Permit) 6. Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen 5. Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over By an Unidentified Non-Human Perpetrator 4. Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (If Office Policy Permits) 3. Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creature Sings 2. I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection 1. Ill Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December Hope your holiday rocks.
I've got it for you baaaad and that's wooley, wooley good! You make my heart bleat faster if my meaning's understood... Don't be shy or sheepish 'cause if you haven't guessed I love when you're ram-bunctious, 'cause you're the very beeessst! It's time to flock together for some lovin' and sheep thrills... I'd like to fleece ewe, Baby-- And your every wish fulfill! Happy Valentine's Day
The 12 Dogs of Christmas -- Drummers drumming, Pipers piping, Lords a-leaping, Ladies dancing, Maids a-milking, Swans a-swimming, Geese a-laying, Golden rings, Calling birds, French hens, Turtle doves, Partridge in a pear tree Merry Christmas
Mother -- Chef -- Chauffer -- Employee -- Nurse -- Coach -- Cheerleader -- Tutor -- Maid -- Secretary -- Friend -- Happy Mother's Day to a woman who wears a lot of hats. --...which explains why you need so many shoes!
Americans! Listen up! I want YOU to have a Happy Fourth of July. That's a request directly from your Uncle Sam. Go out and romp and frolic. Or if you're too tired, you can simply cavort. Or repose yourself upon the reclining object of your choosing. And don't forget to fire up that grill. Throw a horseshoe. Have a barbeque. Throw a horseshoe at the barbeque. I don't care. Just have fun. Indulge in your cold beverage of preference. And, by all means, enjoy some fireworks. Yes, Americans, I want YOU to celebrate Independence Day. Because without Independence Day, we'd all be drinking tea and eating crumpets and fish and chips like a bunch of Queen-lovin' pudding-slurpers! That's right. You heard me. Now get out there and have a Happy Fourth of July!
Happy April Fools' Day! Exit. System Error. That's it?! OK. Think About it. These emails don't just spontaneously burst into existence, you know. Programmers actually have to spend time coding these suckers. OK. Enrich Your Life! I mean, really! Will a few more minutes of art appreciation hurt you? Think of the poor sap who sat at a desk, coloring this thing in. OK. Be Considerate of Others. And don't be too quick to forget about the nice person who sent you this email. Do you think they give these things away for free? No way - somebody shelled out big bucks for this baby. OK. Are You Sure? Are you positively SURE you want to exit this program? OK. Ok, then... Well, OK, then... OK. You're a Persistent One, Aren't You? If you really want to exit this program, I won't stop you. OK. Last One, I Promise! ...except to wish you a happy April Fools' Day one last time. OK. Honestly, This Is the Last One. Happy April Fools' Day! OK. Gullible. Boy, you'll believe anything you read, won't you? OK. Other Explanation? Or is the button-pushing thing some kind of compulsion? OK. Enough, Already. Hey, I don't have all day, you know! Do you want to exit this program or not?! OK. Finally! Then why didn't you say so in the first place?! OK. In honor of April Fools' Day, this complete waste of time has been brought to you by .
Hey, I know how much you like getting the latest tech stuff, so for Father's Day I searched all over the web and got you something really special! This electronic greeting! (it's the most advanced model they had) Hope you like it! Happy Father's Day
How the Easter Bunny Got His Job Easter Egg Delivery Specialist Tryouts Guy in Red Suit Next Please Dude in Diaper Thats not right. Short Green Guy Uh, thanks, well let you know. Ridiculously Large Bunny Perfect! When can you start? Just Wanted to Deliver an Easter Wish: Have a Good One!
Ill pick my socks up, Moms not my maid, I should ignore the things my weird friends do. So many nights wide awake she laid, Would I come home with piercings or tattoos? The years are passing, they go so fast, Im glad Mom emphasized the Golden Rule. But I was worried and glad she passed On that threat of military school. (The years are passing, they go so fast,) (Im glad Mom emphasized the Golden Rule.) (But I was worried and glad she passed) Wheres mom? (On that threat of military school.) We know a mothers work is never done, Shes always helping, right from the start When theres a problem, shes always calm, Theres nothing tender as a mothers heart. (But when theres trouble or we feel distress,) Be calm (Theres one thing that we all know for sure) Heres mom! (Well need our mothers to clean up the mess.) Theres one thing that we all know for sure Nothings tender as a mothers heart! Wishing you a relaxing, trouble-free Mothers Day. Click here for a special message (OPTIONAL)
These kids, they'll drive you straight into the nuthouse... and by the way, they shaved the dog. These kids, they think the world revolves around them... and by the way, the sink is clogged. And then, the principal would like to see you, What this concerns, you have no clue. And then, some person called who needed someone To volunteer... and now that's you. Mothers! Mothers! You have to do it all! Mothers! Mothers! You're there each time they fall.You're out of milk, you need a hug, The cat threw up on your new rug... |If only they all knew about the stuff that you go through.Mothers! Mothers! You cook, you clean, you work Mothers! Mothers! Trying not to go berserk! Kids need a ride, they want tattoos, They want two-hundred-dollar shoes! On Mother's Day, we thank you for the great things that you do.Hey! On Mother's Day we thank you for the great things that you do !Happy Mother's Day!
Passover's coming, Everyone's running, Preparing something for the Seder meal! Matzo-balls are stewing Chicken-soup is brewing, Everything we're doing With a special zeal! Quick, set the Seder plate, Hurry, it's getting late, Shank bone... roasted egg... Where's the bitter herb!? Cover the matzos up, Fill up Elijah's cup, Chop some potatoes up, Those will be superb! Oh! No! One hour to go! Make charoset and some moror! Sweep the kitchen! Wash the floor-or! Cut horseradish if you're able! Put Haggadahs on the table! Pour the wine! Pour the wine! Collapse... and... have... a... great... night! Happy Passover!
Attention! Attention! We're now in for a treat: A few members of the class are going to give a little Valentine's Day performance . . . V is for this very special day. A for all the sweets comin' our way. L is for the love we're gonna spread. E for every candy heart in red. N is for nummy chocolate-covered kisses. T as in those --- chewy gummy fishes. I is easy: I love peanut-butter cups. N for 'nilla ice cream and sweet, sticky syrups. E --- it's all edible, colored hearts as hard as teeth. S for smooth white-chocolate with raspberry down beneath. D for do you like our Valentine's Day song? A --- See this candy? We can eat it all day long. Yippeeeee!
Wellllllllllllllllllllll theres Cabbage and shamrocks and Irish hearts prancing and claddagh rings (dandy for handy romancing) and lucks all around us with leprechauns dancing plus lots of good wishes for Saint Patricks Day Theres wolfhounds and Guinness and music quite airy and corned beef a-cooking and smiles all merry parades in the morning from Dublin to Derry plus happy good wishes for Saint Patricks Daaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Greetings, greetings its our big day, Pink hearts filled with tasty treats. Were frosted and sprinkled in colorful jimmies, Now thats what we call good eats! We dare you resist us, Well parade around, in our finest foils and lace. Truffles and caramels and soft, gooey centers, Oooh, well melt all over your face. So, enjoy us enjoy us, Theres nothing better than a box of delicious sweets. Especially today Happy Valentines Day, Dont fret about your expanding, ahem, seat.
Who gets up each day, just to earn his pay? Who's fearless and dependable and true? Who's the MVP of his family? Dad is, that's who! If you need advice With some tech device, he's up to every task. If you're stuck, or you Need a buck or two? You only have to ask. Who should just unwind, have a rest, recline? Take a break from all he does the whole year through? Yes -- who's number one for the things he's done? Dad is, that's who Dad is -- that's YOU!! Relax -- you've earned it! Happy Father's Day
Easter Bunnies, we are Easter Bunnies Easter bunnies, that is what we are. Easter candy, we bring Easter candy Easter candy... I got some in my car! Chocolate eggs and jelly beans The finest Easter Day cuisine Chocolate eggs jelly beans Easter Day fine cuisine O-o-o-o-oh... Easter Bunnies, we are Easter Bunnies We hop along the Bunny Trail right into your backyard. Easter Bunnies, we are pink and fuzzy Pink and fuzzy, and we have big ears. Easter candy, we bring Easter candy Easter candy... We chose this for careers! Easter baskets, colored eggs We hop around on bunny legs Easter baskets colored eggs Hop around bunny legs Chocolate eggs jelly beans Easter Day fine cuisine O-o-o-o-oh... Easter Bunnies, we are Easter Bunnies Easter bunnies, that is what we are.