An optimist sees the glass as half full... A pessimist sees the glass as half empty... A mother sees the glass of someone who didn't finish their drink, pick up their glass, or put it in the dishwasher. Happy Mother's Day!
Oh (name) you know I love you so much! C'mon Baby, put on your (favorite clothes) looking so fine. I want to eat you up like a (favorite dessert) you drive me out of my mind! Baby, don't you know I think you're so divine! I want to take you out and go (favorite activity) till the end of time! (name) I love you! Ooooohhhh Yeeeaaah
Dad, Dad, Whatta Dad, Happy Fathers Day! Defnitely, Defnitely, Defnitely, Defnitely Take a break today! Stop the music! Youre singing at the same time I am. No, Im not. Yes, you are. Okay, Okay. Calm down. Lets just try again. There you go, again. What? Youre singing my part. Youre just jealous because Im a better singer. You are not! Am so! Are not! Am so! I give up. Hey! Happy Fathers Day!
Ready, OK! Here's a song for a Dad named (recipient) Give that man a trophy He's a Dad who know his stuff He really rocks (personal characteristic) He's a man who's really tough. He's a Dad who (favorite activity) Stand proud! Stand tall! He's a Dad who loves (favorite food) He's the greatest Dad of all! Gooooo Dad! Happy Dad's Day!
KETCHUP: Ahhh...now this is the life. MUSTARD: You said it, Ketchup...Nothin' like a picnic on the Fourth of July! KETCHUP: Yep, it's my day to shine! MUSTARD: Wait...Your day? You mean my day... KETCHUP: Get outta here. Everybody knows today's a day to celebrate all things American--Baseball, apple pie, and most importantly HOTDOGS! And what's better on a hot dog than me? Good ol' Ketchup! Woo-Hoo! I rock! MUSTARD: Have you lost your mind? I go perfect on a hot dog,not you! I mean, don't get me wrong, you're good on say, french fries--- KETCHUP: FRENCH fries?!? Did you just call me French?!? MUSTARD: Lighten up, K. All I'm saying is, I'm better on hot dogs, not you... KETCHUP: Noooo...I'm better. MUSTARD: I'm better. KETCHUP: No me. MUSTARD: Me! KETCHUP: ME! MUSTARD: ME!! KETCHUP & MUSTARD: MEEEEEE!! MUSTARD: Look, let's just say we're both good on hotdogs. After all, America's the great melting pot, right? The land of the free! Home of the brave! The beacon of light for generations of peoples to come together as one... KETCHUP: Plus we're not mayonnaise. KETCHUP and MUSTARD: Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haa! Mayonnaise! What a joke! Nobody likes you! The worst! Etc. Hope your 4th of July can't be topped!
Hark! How the chins, Upside-down chins, Smooth or with beard, All will be heard! Christmas is here. Bringing good cheer. Lips, teeth, and tongue, Songs will be sung. Round and oblong, Singing their song, Whiskers or not, Chins sing a lot. One seems to hear, Words of good cheer, From every chin, Singing again. Oh! how they sing. Voices do ring. O'er nose and face, Going every place. Gaily mouths chew, While chins renew. Goodwill and cheer, Christmas is here. Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas. Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas. Oh, how the chins, Sing with their grins, Their melody, So chinfully Merry Christmas!
Li'l Critters Whoops! Those furry Li'l Critters have gone and escaped from their cage. They were last spotted heading towards a leafy forest glade. If you see one, click on it as fast as you can and put them all back where they belong. Catch 5 to win the game, but beware -- they can be tricky! April Fools! I told you they were tricky.
Ahoy from the Pirate 'Stache! Hear the waves crash, Smell the sea on my mustache, Says the hairy pirate lip, "All aboard the Dad's Day ship!" So lift your glass, to your mustache-- swash bucklin' wishes to you! Yo ho! Yo-ho-hope your Father's Day is happy!
The story of St. Patricks Day begins in Ireland On hillsides with the green, green grass Beneath the Irish sun. St. Patty put this grass of green in baskets he did weave, and filled them up with chocolate eggs For children to receive. uhm, actually, I think youve got it wrong, therelisten to thisahem. St. Pattys Day commemorates a date from long ago: The Pilgrims and the natives dined, on food that they did grow, along with fish and turkeys too, they ate their peas and corn, They later added football, and a holiday was born. NO...no...no ya eejit! Thats not it St. Padddys day is when the kids go around with their scary masks and Achhh! You doont have the sense you were born with, Lad, its when Santa comes down the chimn That shows what you know... Make no mistake about it Im wishing you a Happy St. Patricks Day! and then if the turkey sees his shadow... For some No Blarney Facts About St. Patricks Day, click any of the Shamrocks! sharmrock #1 St. Patricks Day is the annual feast of St. Patrick (circa AD 385-461), a patron saint of Ireland. According to legend, St. Patrick used the green three-leaf clover (the shamrock) to explain the holy trinity to the Christians of Ireland. This is how the wearing of the green became a tradition. sharmrock #2 Although an Irish holiday, the largest St. Patricks Day parade in the world is in New York City, where 150,000 marchers participate. sharmrock #3 The Chicago River is dyed green each year for St. Patricks Day. sharmrock #4 In Canada, the UK, Australia, New Zealand, Argentina and the US, St. Patricks Day is not an official holiday, but is widely celebrated.
Is it hot in here? ...or is it just me? I provide beauty, warmth and light for the whole family. When these 8 candles are all lighted, Though it's clear everyone's excited, In my glow they will bask, but I just have to ask: Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Is it warm in here? I have to say I spend most of the year packed up away, Though the food is frying in the kitchen, I'm the one who's really schvitzin' With 9 sticks of fire, I just have to inquire: Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Warmest wishes for a Happy Hanukkah.
Enter your name below: SENDER'S NAME Happy April Fools' Day! Exit. System Error. That's it?! OK. These emails don't just spontaneously burst into existence, you know. Programmers actually have to spend time coding these suckers. OK. I mean, really! Will a few more minutes of art appreciation hurt you? Think of the poor sap who sat at a desk, coloring this thing in. OK. And don't be too quick to forget about the nice person who sent you this email. Do you think they give these things away for free? No way - somebody shelled out big bucks for this baby. OK. Are You Sure? Are you positively SURE you want to exit this program? OK. Ok, then... Well, OK, then... OK. You're a Persistent One, Aren't You? If you really want to exit this program, I won't stop you. OK. Last One, I Promise! ...except to wish you a happy April Fools' Day one last time. OK. Honestly, This Is the Last One. Happy April Fools' Day! OK. Gullible. Boy, you'll believe anything you read, won't you? OK. Or is the button-pushing thing some kind of compulsion? OK. Hey, I don't have all day, you know! Do you want to exit this program or not?! OK. Then why didn't you say so in the first place?! OK. In honor of April Fools' Day, this complete waste of time has been brought to you by SENDER'S NAME .
Inn the grate cosmic scheme of things, administrative professional are like gravity. They keep things from spinning out of control. But unlike gravity they never let you down. Just want you to knoww that you certrtannly deserve the best. unfortunaetely, of ccourse, you'e stukk witth us. Hanhgpy Admisghtive Proshefunals Day, ashuhsvaow. Hdnrpy Admisghtive Proshefunals Dai, anzdlmdev. Haapy Administraytiv Profeshunals Day, anyhow. (hey, this typing thing isn't soo harde...)
March seventeenth is what we call St. Patricks Day Shoemaking leprechauns hoard all their gold away Clovers with four leafs can make a Good Luck bouquet As we sing out the St. Patricks Chin Song. When Irish chins sing, its a song you can dance to, lad Whisky and lager can cheer you up if youre sad Pipes may be calling, but Murphys heads feeling bad Corned beef and cabbage is coming on strong. Red-headed lasses will ask you so freely, Is that your shillelagh or you glad to see me? A rainbow and pot of gold wait round the bend And if youre not Irish, well, you can pretend. Pubs barely open but Flanagans bleary-eyed Shamrocks and Blarney Stones got Kelly teary-eyed Father OMalleys on his second beer and rye As we sing loud the St. Patricks Chin Song. O lets lift a glass up to Cork and Kilkenny Wed name all the counties, but there are too many Our Irish Pride comes out of each nook and cranny When we sing out the St. Patricks Chin Song. Red-headed lasses will ask you so freely, Is that your shillelagh or you glad to see me? A rainbow and pot of gold wait round the bend If you like this stanza, well sing it again. Red-headed lasses will ask you so freely, Is that your shillelagh or you glad to see me? A rainbow and pot of gold wait round the bend And St. Patricks Day Chin Song has come to an end!
Its Halloween and the ghosts are out. Pair up the different ghosts in the haunted house before the cauldron comes to a boil and you get a special treat. Otherwise, you get a scary trick! You WIN! Happy Halloween! Oh, well. Try Again, and have a Happy Halloween!
Deck the tree with balls so flashy. Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la la la. Homemade ornaments just look trashy. We bring joy and memory sharing. We were made with love and caring You were made with paste and pine tar -- We're not even sure what you are! You're just copies, we are handmade. We have charms that never will fade. Even though you came before us... Let's all be one happy chorus! We're with you and glad to be here! Fa la la, la la la, la la la Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!
Cupid never misses the mark when hes hooking other people up, but some of his own pick-up lines? Well, you be the judge Whats your sign, honey? Mines the Archer, and I always hit the target, if you know what I mean Baby, once you go Cupid, the rest are just stupid. Whoa, is that an arrow in my diaper or am I just happy to see you? My Cloud 9 or yours? My name is Cupid, but you can call me the God of Love because I am, the God of Love. Really, it says so right here on my drivers license. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I do another flyby? Wanna go back to my well, crib? No, not working for ya? Well, baby, this will! Its Valentines Day - watch your back, Sweetie!
Punxsutawney Pummel It's Groundhog Day, and you know what that means -- if that lousy little rodent sees his shadow, it's 6 more weeks of winter for us! Click your mouse on the groundhog to swing your mallet and knock him out before he gets the chance to see his shadow. That stupid groundhog never had a chance! Spring is just around the corner! You let that critter out times. Keep your coat on! We've got 6 more weeks of winter!
I thought I'd seen the last of you, And you want to see the end of me, Well Honey, this turkey won't be deceased for your Thanksgiving feast (just listen to me now!) I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put away your roasting pan, I'm gonna miss out on being dished out, Hope mashed potatoes fill you up Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed You can have your yams and cranberries Have some pumpkin pie, but you can't have me! When the cookin' starts on that cold Thursday, This bold bird will be M.I.A. The main course has flown the coop. Drumsticks don't fail me now! I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put down that roasting pan, Yes I'm a winner, not your family dinner Hope the dressing is enough Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed (Get a cow if ya wanna chow!) (you want some protein? serve some beans!)
Praise, respect, And heartfelt gratitude, These I send This special day to you: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, For everything you do. And just for being you! Thank you For all The ways You care And how you're always there With all the smarts you share. Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Tag: Happy Administrative Professionals Day (...oh, and Thanks!)
Who is that pattering on the rooftop eight days in December (excluding the Sabbath)? Who is it that braves the freezing temperatures (without so much as a sweater) to deliver presents under the menorah? Who is it that noshes on your milk and rugelach in the wee hours of the night? Is it Santa? Is it a burglar? NO! It's Zayde Claus! This is why we don't have holiday characters. Happy Hanukkah!
We pitched in to get you this all expenses-paid vacation to the Bahamas. You're so great, we've decided to give you a company car! Guess what? You're getting a big raise - and a bonus! Here's your company credit card. Get yourself a new wardrobe. Important people like you get a three day weekend every single week. ...This Administrative Professionals Day fantasy was brought to you by ME! Have a happy one!