Camera pans through a gallery of classics. Ruben-type painting: Does this frame make my butt look big? Venus on the Half Shell: Girls, I totally need to work on my tanspray or tanning bed? Cut to: Munchs Scream: Aaaaaaaaah! What happened to you?! Pan Across: Picasso (sighs glumly): Botox gone bad. End Tag: I wouldnt change a thing about our friendship!
...And you can get undressed in here. Strip down and wait in here, please. Please take off all your clothes. Be with you in a minute. ...And you can undress in here. ...And you can take your clothes off and wait in here, please. Strip down and wait in here, please....And you can get undressed in here. Okay, now - ready? HAPPY NURSES DAY. Hope your Nurses Day is everything it's cracked up to be!
This is me. This is me with PMS. This is me with a zit. This is me cloned. This is me surfing EBay. This is me with a bad fake tan. This is me circa 1977. This is me retaining water. This is me in a high school. This is me with a face lift. This is me without electrolysis. This is me with a mullet. This is me with a vibrating cell phone. This is me morphed with a chicken.
Can you imagine if guys had to go around crushing empty bottles against their foreheads? It's Beer Can Appreciation Day! January 24 Beer Can Appreciation Day Commemorating the day beer was first sold in cans back in 1935.
December 22nd Christmas Tree Lights Day Honoring Thomas Edison, who created the first Christmas tree lights in 1882. You know, it's only fitting that Edison invented Christmas tree lights. It takes a genius to untangle them! Merry Christmas Tree Lights Day!
April 7 is No Housework Day! A good day to fantaize about two men... One to cook, and one to clean. Today there shall be no laundry. No dishes. Now vacuuming. And no guilt. Enjoy this holiday while it lasts.
O Canada! Our home and native land! True patriot love in all thy sons command. With glowing hearts we see thee rise, The True North strong and free! From far and wide, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. God keep our land glorious and free! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. Happy Canada Day
Bow down before your masters, human underlings! Today Is Respect Your Cat Day! March 28th Respect Your Cat Day On this day in 1384, England's King Richard II issued an edict forbidding the consumption of cats.
Attention, Men! This is your final warning! Tomorrow is Valentine's Day! Please respond within the next 24 hours with flowers,candy,gifts, and romance novel hero-quality behavior. A Public Service Announcement for all men who are currently in (and wish to remain in) a relationship.
It's Temporary Insanity Day! Do something crazy! (Just keep it legal. After all, if we were really insane, today would be just an ordinary day.) On this day in 1859, the defense of "temporary insanity" was first successfully pleaded in a U.S. court of law.
Be Electrific Day On February 11, we honor the birth of inventor Thomas Alva Edison . . . and we discover the electricity within our own bodies. Celebrate by skating across the carpet in your stocking feet . . .