And now, in honor of Halloween, the Top 5 Scarecrow Complaints! Number 5 Every day its denim and flannel, denim and flannel. Number 4 Two words: Crow poop. Yeah, youre real brave when youre up there, huh? Come down here and well see how tough you are! Number 3 Everybody just assumes that you can dance like that Wizard of Oz scarecrow. And by the way, a brain aint the first organ ID be wishing for, you know what Im sayin? Number 2 This job would be a lot easier if I was packin heat. And the Number 1 Scarecrow Complaint... Youd be grumpy too if you had a broomstick up your a$$. Happy Halloween
I am going to thank you now, Thank you good Thank you loud. I am going to thank you now For all that you have done! You really are the cats meow, a-and how So take a bow. I am going to thank you now For all that you have done! Im not sure what I would do Without you, this is true. So That is Why Im thanking you For all that you have done! Generous and kindly, too That is you, hope you knew. So that is why Im thanking you For all that you have done! Thanks a Ton!
Ahoy from the Pirate 'Stache! Hear the waves crash, Smell the sea on my mustache, Says the hairy pirate lip, "All aboard the Dad's Day ship!" So lift your glass, to your mustache-- swash bucklin' wishes to you! Yo ho! Yo-ho-hope your Father's Day is happy!
Who is that pattering on the rooftop eight days in December (excluding the Sabbath)? Who is it that braves the freezing temperatures (without so much as a sweater) to deliver presents under the menorah? Who is it that noshes on your milk and rugelach in the wee hours of the night? Is it Santa? Is it a burglar? NO! It's Zayde Claus! This is why we don't have holiday characters. Happy Hanukkah!
Sometimes a holiday needs more than a few decorations. And sometimes you've got to be more than sweet to survive. "This could get a little sticky" This Fall, get ready for the sweetest thrill ride of the season, as this gang of unlikely heroes does whatever it takes to take Halloween back. With romance With action With drama This Halloween get caught up in The Sweet Escape... Because the days of these tasty treats getting tricked are over. Happy Halloween
How Cats Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at first light. Sit on owner's face until they wake up. 2. Loudly demand birthday breakfast be served. 3. Shun two kinds of cat food. Shun owner, then grudgingly eat organic tuna. 4. Visit "magic box." Find conditions unacceptable. 5. Enjoy "private time" behind sofa. 6. Enjoy watching owner clean "magic box" and area behind sofa. 7. Practice the ol' yoga stretches. 8. Hork hairball into secret hiding place. 9. Stare at wall. Pretend to "see" something owner cannot. 10. Sleep for 18 hours. Start all over again. Hope your birthday is just as much fun!
This Halloween, why settle for the same old, boring jack-o-lantern when you can have a crack-o-lantern or a Yack-o-lantern or a Rack-o-lantern or a Wack-o-lantern or a Mac-o-lantern HAPPY HALLOWEEN :-)
You two go together Like sunsets and cuddles, Like fires and s'mores, Like jumping and puddles. Like daisies and bees, Like strolls and warm weather, Like butterflies and kisses, You go perfectly together! Happy Anniversary!
We've had our share of busy times, we've had our share of quiet. We've had our share of working hard and times that were a riot! We've had our share of differences, and, sure, we've had a spat. We've had our share of making up --- and, boy, we're good at that! We've shared the good, we've shared the great, we've shared a tear or two. And I wouldn't trade a moment of the times I've shared with you! Happy Anniversary with Love.
It's time for really random objects celebrating birthdays, yeah. Are you kidding? I love birthdays! I usually don't get many gifts for my birthday-- mostly just cash. Yeah, me too. I'd like to get a kitten for my birthday. I'm not really a dog person. I get so many birthday cards! There might even be one in here for you! I love birthdays, but I never get my own birthday I always have to celebrate it with you-know-who. Bleep! birthdays! Hey, hey, hey! Leave me alone! What's wrong with the mailbox on the corner? I'm in the prime of my life. I've still got plenty of time. Nevermind. OMG! I get so excited for birthdays! Hope your birthday is full of random fun!
Today's is the birthday of someone I know Sometimes I call it 'b-day' just for short And sing a B-Day Ditty Yeah, a B-Day Ditty I sing the ditty in the city or I sing it on a country lane. Well, I like b-days cause I think they're fun I hope you like b-days cause you're the one I sing this B-Day Ditty Yeah, this B-Day Ditty Cause you're the one I sing this funny B-Day Ditty to. Hap-Hap-py B-Day Hap-Hap-py B-Day I say a hap, hap, hap, hap I say a pee pee pee pee I say a hap, hap, happy B-Day, Birthday to you Yeah, you're the one I sing this Happy B-Day Ditty to! Happy Birthday!
I'm an awesome pear so cool and sweet, Which is why I am so loved from my stem to my feet. When it come to pears only the best will do, The only thing that can beat a pear like me... is a pair like you. Youre such a good pair Happy anniversary to youuuuuuuuu Happy Anniversary
How Dogs Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. Wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny-looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Hope your birthday is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)
I heard you're not feeling great, so I thought you should meet, Will, the e-male nurse. Time for another sponge bath. This warm oil massage ought to improve your circulation. Would you like a gin chaser for your four o'clock meds? Into bed with you, right now! I'll just take off my shirt and help you with that crossword puzzle. Get Will soon.
How I tried to remember your birthday! I wrote the date upon my hand and also in a planner. I hired a plane to jog my brain by pulling a great big banner. I taped your picture on the fridge so thoughts of you would linger. And finally, I found some string . . . and tied it to my finger. But I must've tied it too tight, 'cause I cut off my circulation, passed out, and didn't come to until your birthday was over. Happy Belated!
You've heard the tune, but do you know the words? Hold your head high and sing along with the band at the top of your lungs as you march down the aisle on your graduation day! I finished my homework. I finished each test. I'm done with my teachers, Check me out, I'm the best. Don't need any Cliff notes, No more rushing to class. I'm officially history. You can kiss my ass. I'm graduating. The world can kiss my ass.
Ready, OK! Here's a song for a Dad named (recipient) Give that man a trophy He's a Dad who know his stuff He really rocks (personal characteristic) He's a man who's really tough. He's a Dad who (favorite activity) Stand proud! Stand tall! He's a Dad who loves (favorite food) He's the greatest Dad of all! Happy Birthday to a great Dad!
I just want to say in my own special way... thanks! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you!