Getting old Getting old Getting old today Count the years Face the truth Whats your body say? Stretch you back Crack your neck How you feel today? Getting old Getting old today Seen my keys? Ow, my knees! Whys the print so small? Hard to see Have to pee And that isnt all First Im hot Then Im cold Now I cant recall What I said Oh, the hell with it all Make a wish! Blow out the candles on your cake and dont leave anything to chance Cross your legs! Cause when youre laughing you dont want to accidently wet your pants. Forget about Calories and carbohydrates -- all the stuff that makes you fat Eat some cake The only clothing you will fit in later will just be your hat. Have a good Have a good Have a good Birthday That is all That is all That I have to say Ill repeat One more time Therefore, if I may Have a good Have a good Birthday!
I thought I'd seen the last of you, And you want to see the end of me, Well Honey, this turkey won't be deceased for your Thanksgiving feast (just listen to me now!) I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put away your roasting pan, I'm gonna miss out on being dished out, Hope mashed potatoes fill you up Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed You can have your yams and cranberries Have some pumpkin pie, but you can't have me! When the cookin' starts on that cold Thursday, This bold bird will be M.I.A. The main course has flown the coop. Drumsticks don't fail me now! I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put down that roasting pan, Yes I'm a winner, not your family dinner Hope the dressing is enough Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed (Get a cow if ya wanna chow!) (you want some protein? serve some beans!)
YOUR BIRTHDAY: A SURVIVAL GUIDE Tip One: Be ready for anything. Tip Two: Attitude of Gratitude. Kitties and I crocheted you underwear. Wow. Um. Thanks? Tip Three: Drink. Repeat as needed. Lastly: Breathe. The longer you live, the more we can celebrate you. Happy Birthday
Praise, respect, And heartfelt gratitude, These I send This special day to you: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, For everything you do. And just for being you! Thank you For all The ways You care And how you're always there With all the smarts you share. Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Tag: Happy Administrative Professionals Day (...oh, and Thanks!)
And now, in honor of Halloween, the Top 5 Scarecrow Complaints! Number 5 Every day its denim and flannel, denim and flannel. Number 4 Two words: Crow poop. Yeah, youre real brave when youre up there, huh? Come down here and well see how tough you are! Number 3 Everybody just assumes that you can dance like that Wizard of Oz scarecrow. And by the way, a brain aint the first organ ID be wishing for, you know what Im sayin? Number 2 This job would be a lot easier if I was packin heat. And the Number 1 Scarecrow Complaint... Youd be grumpy too if you had a broomstick up your a$$. Happy Halloween
Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . . Today is your birthday, Time for a soiree, Hip, hip hooray, Its a birthday rock! Another year older, A little less bolder, Toesre feelin colder, Its a birthday rock! For breakfast now its Bran Flakes, Loud and sudden wind breaks, Oh, Lordy, I get back aches, Its a birthday rock! On my plate is puree, On my head a toupee, Most evenings we do crochet, Its a birthday rock! Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . .
I am a bird with no tomorrow Dont want to be the main entrees. I bid farewell before Thanksgiving to the place I was hatched and raised. For six fine months I had a free range, Eating bugs and whatever moved, I got fatter than a tree stump Now they want my head removed! Oh, fare you well my native farm land The place where I did eat so well. Ive got to plan for my survival I think Ill find me a hotel. Hope you survive another Thanksgiving.
Top 5 Life Lessons I Learned from The Easter Bunny 5. Break out of your shell. 4. Balance is the key to happiness. 3. Make each of your tasks a masterpiece. 2. Joy is in the air - you just need to catch it. and the #1 Life Lesson I Learned from the Easter bunny: 1. You gotta love a holiday that centers around chocolate. Happy Easter
Your word is ancient. Ancient. What's the definition? Older than dirt, elderly, advanced in years. Can you use it in a sentence? The person viewing this card is ancient. Oh, I know that one. A-N-C-I-E-N-T, ancient. That's correct! Let me spell it out for you...happy birthday!
Top Five Leprechaun Complaints Number Five This cereal is neither magical nor delicious! Number Four Its hard to hold your whiskey when youre built like a four-year-old. Number Three If I hear, Top o the mornin to ya! one more time, someones gonna get hurt! Number Two Every time I wash me leprechaun outfit, me entire laundry turns green! And the Number One Leprechaun Complaint Tiny little leprechaun. Tiny little shillelagh! Happy St. Patricks Day
We pitched in to get you this all expenses-paid vacation to the Bahamas. You're so great, we've decided to give you a company car! Guess what? You're getting a big raise - and a bonus! Here's your company credit card. Get yourself a new wardrobe. Important people like you get a three day weekend every single week. ...This Administrative Professionals Day fantasy was brought to you by ME! Have a happy one!
a little song just for you from the Moo-nicorn What you did's unusual -- Exceptional, and rare! You're awesomely uncommon, Not just found most anywhere. That's why this little song for you Was carefully designed to tell you quite uniquely you are one-of-a-kind! Thank you for being You
Were vampires, were monstrous blood-sucking undead, So lets laugh, lets celebrate, lets toast to Halloween In life you go round only once, someone said, But it wasnt us or our zombie friends who will eat your spleen. Some think its all about the Trick or Treating, Going door to door in the darkness of night, To us it makes more sense just meeting To get together for a quick bite The townsfolk with torches are all nervous wrecks They have garlic and wooden stakes but they have to live in fear So lets sink our fangs into some peasant necks and rejoice that Halloween is finally here. Here! Here! Halloweens finally here! Here! Here! Into hearts lets strike fear! It is here lets strike fear fangs will bite cause tonights HALLOWEEN! Hope Your Halloweens a Classic!