I am a bird with no tomorrow Dont want to be the main entrees. I bid farewell before Thanksgiving to the place I was hatched and raised. For six fine months I had a free range, Eating bugs and whatever moved, I got fatter than a tree stump Now they want my head removed! Oh, fare you well my native farm land The place where I did eat so well. Ive got to plan for my survival I think Ill find me a hotel. Hope you survive another Thanksgiving.
This Thanksgiving's gonna be great -- Gonna see my Grandpa, and my sister Kate, Mom and Auntie Anna and perhaps my cousin Hannah. This Thanksgiving's gonna be great. This Thanksgiving's gonna be sweet -- With dressing, mash potatoes and some pumpkin pie to eat. I could write a pretty ballad 'bout my Grandma's green bean salad. This Thanksgiving's gonna be sweet. This Thanksgiving's gonna be great -- And it's my arrival, folks await. I'm grateful, to be clear, I've made it one more year This Thanksgiving's gonna be great! Hope your turkey day is a great one!
Who is that pattering on the rooftop eight days in December (excluding the Sabbath)? Who is it that braves the freezing temperatures (without so much as a sweater) to deliver presents under the menorah? Who is it that noshes on your milk and rugelach in the wee hours of the night? Is it Santa? Is it a burglar? NO! It's Zayde Claus! This is why we don't have holiday characters. Happy Hanukkah!
Whether your name is ODonnell, or Murphy, OConnor or Boyle, Or Gallagher, Gilroy or Campbell, Fitzgerald, McLaughlin or Doyle, If youre called Brennan or Daly, or Collins, OReilly or Dunn, or Sullivan, Craig or McConaughy, St. Paddys will surely be fun! Whether your family names Kelly, McCauley, ONeil or Quinn, McNally or Walsh or OCarroll, or Connelly or Donnelly, or Flynn, If an O is your first letter, or in your name starts with a Mc Have fun on this day, but be careful to no drink too much and get sick! Whether youre Moore or OMalley, ODougherty, Farell or Byrne, Or Wilson, or Hughes, or Maguire, or Kennedy, Kane or OHearn, If your names Lynch or McCarthy, or Cleary, or Burke or Malone, Or Ryan, OBrien, or Nolan, let somebody else drive you home! If Your Name is From the Isle, Heres Sending You a Smile! Happy St. Patricks Day!
I'm so flashy I'm so classy I'm a holiday sweater. I'm so chic and terrifique-- nothing says Christmas better! No one can miss me, looking so glitzy-- Have a real snazzy holiday! Celebrate in style and have a fabulous holiday!
Folks as nice as you? Well, they don't TURNIP every day -- The EGG-stra special kind that can't be BEET. So even though it's CORNy, This POULTRY little song Is meant to say I think you're really neat. Don't want to go on MILKin' this Or feed you any BULL Or HORSE around before I get to say... I'd really feel BAAAAAD If I didn't say Thank EWE, And hope you have a mighty special day! Thank You Kindly.
How Dogs Celebrate Easter 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. (You know...pretty much like every day!) Hope your Easter is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)
And now, in honor of Halloween, the Top 5 Scarecrow Complaints! Number 5 Every day its denim and flannel, denim and flannel. Number 4 Two words: Crow poop. Yeah, youre real brave when youre up there, huh? Come down here and well see how tough you are! Number 3 Everybody just assumes that you can dance like that Wizard of Oz scarecrow. And by the way, a brain aint the first organ ID be wishing for, you know what Im sayin? Number 2 This job would be a lot easier if I was packin heat. And the Number 1 Scarecrow Complaint... Youd be grumpy too if you had a broomstick up your a$$. Happy Halloween
Inn the grate cosmic scheme of things, administrative professional are like gravity. They keep things from spinning out of control. But unlike gravity they never let you down. Just want you to knoww that you certrtannly deserve the best. unfortunaetely, of ccourse, you'e stukk witth us. Hanhgpy Admisghtive Proshefunals Day, ashuhsvaow. Hdnrpy Admisghtive Proshefunals Dai, anzdlmdev. Haapy Administraytiv Profeshunals Day, anyhow. (hey, this typing thing isn't soo harde...)
Top Five Leprechaun Complaints Number Five This cereal is neither magical nor delicious! Number Four Its hard to hold your whiskey when youre built like a four-year-old. Number Three If I hear, Top o the mornin to ya! one more time, someones gonna get hurt! Number Two Every time I wash me leprechaun outfit, me entire laundry turns green! And the Number One Leprechaun Complaint Tiny little leprechaun. Tiny little shillelagh! Happy St. Patricks Day
One evening on the bunny trail with cotton tails a-hoppin' I saw a ragged bunny, his big ears were a-floppin' But he smiled a big old smile although he coulda blown a gasket He said I'm happy 'cause I got to see the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, there's lots of jelly beans They're yellow, red, and purple, white, and orange and green, Some of them weigh twenty pounds, some are big as bricks, But you'll eat a lot, no matter what, Prepare to increase the size of your butt From the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, you'll see marshmallow chicks You chew their little heads off, and you'll need lots of toothpicks. The eggs are solid chocolate, their shells are made of gold. Oh the bunnies and the hens are chocolate friends They're neatly all contained in cellophane, (cont.) You'll eat them without thinking of the weigh you'll gain. You feel nauseated, but you can't abstain, Better get ready for abdominal pain From the Easter Candy Basket.