And now, in honor of Halloween, the Top 5 Scarecrow Complaints! Number 5 Every day its denim and flannel, denim and flannel. Number 4 Two words: Crow poop. Yeah, youre real brave when youre up there, huh? Come down here and well see how tough you are! Number 3 Everybody just assumes that you can dance like that Wizard of Oz scarecrow. And by the way, a brain aint the first organ ID be wishing for, you know what Im sayin? Number 2 This job would be a lot easier if I was packin heat. And the Number 1 Scarecrow Complaint... Youd be grumpy too if you had a broomstick up your a$$. Happy Halloween
One evening on the bunny trail with cotton tails a-hoppin' I saw a ragged bunny, his big ears were a-floppin' But he smiled a big old smile although he coulda blown a gasket He said I'm happy 'cause I got to see the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, there's lots of jelly beans They're yellow, red, and purple, white, and orange and green, Some of them weigh twenty pounds, some are big as bricks, But you'll eat a lot, no matter what, Prepare to increase the size of your butt From the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, you'll see marshmallow chicks You chew their little heads off, and you'll need lots of toothpicks. The eggs are solid chocolate, their shells are made of gold. Oh the bunnies and the hens are chocolate friends They're neatly all contained in cellophane, (cont.) You'll eat them without thinking of the weigh you'll gain. You feel nauseated, but you can't abstain, Better get ready for abdominal pain From the Easter Candy Basket.
How Dogs Celebrate Easter 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. (You know...pretty much like every day!) Hope your Easter is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)
Inn the grate cosmic scheme of things, administrative professional are like gravity. They keep things from spinning out of control. But unlike gravity they never let you down. Just want you to knoww that you certrtannly deserve the best. unfortunaetely, of ccourse, you'e stukk witth us. Hanhgpy Admisghtive Proshefunals Day, ashuhsvaow. Hdnrpy Admisghtive Proshefunals Dai, anzdlmdev. Haapy Administraytiv Profeshunals Day, anyhow. (hey, this typing thing isn't soo harde...)
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet Halloween will be here soon, we'll be howling at the moon-- If you're happy then shout "Happy Halloween!" Time to scare up some fun and have a Happy Halloween!
Sometimes a holiday needs more than a few decorations. And sometimes you've got to be more than sweet to survive. "This could get a little sticky" This Fall, get ready for the sweetest thrill ride of the season, as this gang of unlikely heroes does whatever it takes to take Halloween back. With romance With action With drama This Halloween get caught up in The Sweet Escape... Because the days of these tasty treats getting tricked are over. Happy Halloween
Folks as nice as you? Well, they don't TURNIP every day -- The EGG-stra special kind that can't be BEET. So even though it's CORNy, This POULTRY little song Is meant to say I think you're really neat. Don't want to go on MILKin' this Or feed you any BULL Or HORSE around before I get to say... I'd really feel BAAAAAD If I just couldn't find the time To stop a while, and simply just say HAY.
Top Five Leprechaun Complaints Number Five This cereal is neither magical nor delicious! Number Four Its hard to hold your whiskey when youre built like a four-year-old. Number Three If I hear, Top o the mornin to ya! one more time, someones gonna get hurt! Number Two Every time I wash me leprechaun outfit, me entire laundry turns green! And the Number One Leprechaun Complaint Tiny little leprechaun. Tiny little shillelagh! Happy St. Patricks Day
Secretaries Day . . . Administrative Assistants Day . . . Administrative Professionals Day . . . The-only-one-around-here-who-knows-what-the-hell's-going-on Day . . . Whatever you choose to call it, have a great one!
Halloween comes once a year so shake a leg and get in gear don't even want to suck your blood just don't be fillin' my bag with crud gimme candy corn and I won't cry your candy better not suck! Apples are bad, pears are the pits popcorn balls give me green zits don't care if my teeth fall out candy's all I care about gimme candy corn and I won't cry your candy better not suck! Dim lights and close the door you won't like what I have in store you'll find out how low I'll stoop with a flamin' pile of werewolf poop gimme candy corn and I won't cry your candy better not suck!
Hey, is it your birthday? I hope so, because I have a special birthday song for you. But even if it isn't your birthday, I'm going to sing it anyway because you look kinda like someone who wants to hear a song today. Okay, here we go... Ahem... Oooooooooooh.... I'm a hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, and today is your birthday! I'm juicy and delicious, and I just want to say, happy birthday, birthday, birthday, to you! Yay for your birthday! Hope it's happy and delicious!
I heard you're not feeling great, so I thought you should meet, Will, the e-male nurse. Time for another sponge bath. This warm oil massage ought to improve your circulation. Would you like a gin chaser for your four o'clock meds? Into bed with you, right now! I'll just take off my shirt and help you with that crossword puzzle. Get Will soon.
Today's your birthday. I wish you many more, parties galore, fun till you snore. Time to celebrate this day for you. The day of your earthly debut! Blow out your candles then grab a balloon. And sing this birthday tune. Today's your birthday, we wish you many more, parties glaore, friendly rapport. Time to celebrate your special day. You're the first to go through the buffet! Open your presents then we'll be along to sing this birthday song!