I thought I'd seen the last of you, And you want to see the end of me, Well Honey, this turkey won't be deceased for your Thanksgiving feast (just listen to me now!) I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put away your roasting pan, I'm gonna miss out on being dished out, Hope mashed potatoes fill you up Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed You can have your yams and cranberries Have some pumpkin pie, but you can't have me! When the cookin' starts on that cold Thursday, This bold bird will be M.I.A. The main course has flown the coop. Drumsticks don't fail me now! I'm gonna make it! I know I can! I'm gonna live to see December, put down that roasting pan, Yes I'm a winner, not your family dinner Hope the dressing is enough Cuz this turkey won't be stuffed (Get a cow if ya wanna chow!) (you want some protein? serve some beans!)
Getting old Getting old Getting old today Count the years Face the truth Whats your body say? Stretch you back Crack your neck How you feel today? Getting old Getting old today Seen my keys? Ow, my knees! Whys the print so small? Hard to see Have to pee And that isnt all First Im hot Then Im cold Now I cant recall What I said Oh, the hell with it all Make a wish! Blow out the candles on your cake and dont leave anything to chance Cross your legs! Cause when youre laughing you dont want to accidently wet your pants. Forget about Calories and carbohydrates -- all the stuff that makes you fat Eat some cake The only clothing you will fit in later will just be your hat. Have a good Have a good Have a good Birthday That is all That is all That I have to say Ill repeat One more time Therefore, if I may Have a good Have a good Birthday!
One evening on the bunny trail with cotton tails a-hoppin' I saw a ragged bunny, his big ears were a-floppin' But he smiled a big old smile although he coulda blown a gasket He said I'm happy 'cause I got to see the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, there's lots of jelly beans They're yellow, red, and purple, white, and orange and green, Some of them weigh twenty pounds, some are big as bricks, But you'll eat a lot, no matter what, Prepare to increase the size of your butt From the Easter Candy Basket. In the Easter Candy Basket, you'll see marshmallow chicks You chew their little heads off, and you'll need lots of toothpicks. The eggs are solid chocolate, their shells are made of gold. Oh the bunnies and the hens are chocolate friends They're neatly all contained in cellophane, (cont.) You'll eat them without thinking of the weigh you'll gain. You feel nauseated, but you can't abstain, Better get ready for abdominal pain From the Easter Candy Basket.
Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . . Today is your birthday, Time for a soiree, Hip, hip hooray, Its a birthday rock! Another year older, A little less bolder, Toesre feelin colder, Its a birthday rock! For breakfast now its Bran Flakes, Loud and sudden wind breaks, Oh, Lordy, I get back aches, Its a birthday rock! On my plate is puree, On my head a toupee, Most evenings we do crochet, Its a birthday rock! Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . .
And now, in honor of Halloween, the Top 5 Scarecrow Complaints! Number 5 Every day its denim and flannel, denim and flannel. Number 4 Two words: Crow poop. Yeah, youre real brave when youre up there, huh? Come down here and well see how tough you are! Number 3 Everybody just assumes that you can dance like that Wizard of Oz scarecrow. And by the way, a brain aint the first organ ID be wishing for, you know what Im sayin? Number 2 This job would be a lot easier if I was packin heat. And the Number 1 Scarecrow Complaint... Youd be grumpy too if you had a broomstick up your a$$. Happy Halloween
I am a bird with no tomorrow Dont want to be the main entrees. I bid farewell before Thanksgiving to the place I was hatched and raised. For six fine months I had a free range, Eating bugs and whatever moved, I got fatter than a tree stump Now they want my head removed! Oh, fare you well my native farm land The place where I did eat so well. Ive got to plan for my survival I think Ill find me a hotel. Hope you survive another Thanksgiving.
Praise, respect, And heartfelt gratitude, These I send This special day to you: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, For everything you do. And just for being you! Thank you For all The ways You care And how you're always there With all the smarts you share. Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Tag: Happy Administrative Professionals Day (...oh, and Thanks!)
Top 5 Life Lessons I Learned from The Easter Bunny 5. Break out of your shell. 4. Balance is the key to happiness. 3. Make each of your tasks a masterpiece. 2. Joy is in the air - you just need to catch it. and the #1 Life Lesson I Learned from the Easter bunny: 1. You gotta love a holiday that centers around chocolate. Happy Easter
a little song just for you from the Moo-nicorn What you did's unusual -- Exceptional, and rare! You're awesomely uncommon, Not just found most anywhere. That's why this little song for you Was carefully designed to tell you quite uniquely you are one-of-a-kind! Thank you for being You
Well, honor your partner, step to the side, Smooth out your feathers, straighten your hide, The cows have come home and the chickens just flew in, The Birthday Hoedown is what we're doin'! Make a birthday wish, then wish some more, We're gonna do-si-do until we're sore. Grab your partner by the hoof or a wing, Now promenade, let's see you swing. Here's a birthday wish, warm and sincere - Have a happy birthday and a happy year. Now blow out your candles, go have some cake - Take your time - we need a break. Happy Birthday!
Top Five Leprechaun Complaints Number Five This cereal is neither magical nor delicious! Number Four Its hard to hold your whiskey when youre built like a four-year-old. Number Three If I hear, Top o the mornin to ya! one more time, someones gonna get hurt! Number Two Every time I wash me leprechaun outfit, me entire laundry turns green! And the Number One Leprechaun Complaint Tiny little leprechaun. Tiny little shillelagh! Happy St. Patricks Day
Ahoy from the Pirate 'Stache! Hear the waves crash, Smell the sea on my mustache, Says the hairy pirate lip, "All aboard the Dad's Day ship!" So lift your glass, to your mustache-- swash bucklin' wishes to you! Yo ho! Yo-ho-hope your Father's Day is happy!
Your birthday's here, you've lived another year, the hugs and high-fives, too, They're all for you -- you know it's true. As every candle twinkles, The balloons and sprinkles, Yellow, red and blue -- They're all for you! They're all for you! Have a Sweet Birthday
I'm so flashy I'm so classy I'm a holiday sweater. I'm so chic and terrifique-- nothing says Christmas better! No one can miss me, looking so glitzy-- Have a real snazzy holiday! Celebrate in style and have a fabulous holiday!
Were vampires, were monstrous blood-sucking undead, So lets laugh, lets celebrate, lets toast to Halloween In life you go round only once, someone said, But it wasnt us or our zombie friends who will eat your spleen. Some think its all about the Trick or Treating, Going door to door in the darkness of night, To us it makes more sense just meeting To get together for a quick bite The townsfolk with torches are all nervous wrecks They have garlic and wooden stakes but they have to live in fear So lets sink our fangs into some peasant necks and rejoice that Halloween is finally here. Here! Here! Halloweens finally here! Here! Here! Into hearts lets strike fear! It is here lets strike fear fangs will bite cause tonights HALLOWEEN! Hope Your Halloweens a Classic!
a little song just for you from the Moo-nicorn You're something quite unusual -- Exceptional, and rare! You're awesomely uncommon, Not just found most anywhere. That's why this little song for you Was carefully designed to tell you quite uniquely you are one-of-a-kind! Thanks for being You
How Dogs Celebrate Easter 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. (You know...pretty much like every day!) Hope your Easter is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)
Whether your name is ODonnell, or Murphy, OConnor or Boyle, Or Gallagher, Gilroy or Campbell, Fitzgerald, McLaughlin or Doyle, If youre called Brennan or Daly, or Collins, OReilly or Dunn, or Sullivan, Craig or McConaughy, St. Paddys will surely be fun! Whether your family names Kelly, McCauley, ONeil or Quinn, McNally or Walsh or OCarroll, or Connelly or Donnelly, or Flynn, If an O is your first letter, or in your name starts with a Mc Have fun on this day, but be careful to no drink too much and get sick! Whether youre Moore or OMalley, ODougherty, Farell or Byrne, Or Wilson, or Hughes, or Maguire, or Kennedy, Kane or OHearn, If your names Lynch or McCarthy, or Cleary, or Burke or Malone, Or Ryan, OBrien, or Nolan, let somebody else drive you home! If Your Name is From the Isle, Heres Sending You a Smile! Happy St. Patricks Day!