Someone very special's birthday is today . I sure hope it's mighty nice in every way. Hope your cake is just delicious and you get all of your wishes, Oh, it's someone special's birthday on this day. Happy Birthday!
For a Special Birthday treat, Frankie, The Counting Canine, will stomp out your age with his foot. Okay, boy, go to it! Oh, no! You killed him! Mustve been too much for his poor little body to take. Oh, well . . . Happy Birthday, Anyway
99 thank you's up here on a wall. 99 thank you's up here. You take one down and pass it around. Now there's 98 thank you's up on a wall. 98 thank you's up here on a wall. 98 thank you's up here. You take one down and pass it around. Now there's 97 thank you's up on a wall. Can't thank you enough.
A special little tune just for you Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low? That song's not so funny anymore! Happy birthday, anyway
So, I'm running around like a CRAZY woman, trying to get WAY more done than is humanly possible... when suddenly MY PHONE RINGS and I think oh no, WHAT NOW?! But then I see it's YOU and I SMILE, and, for a while anyway, things aren't quite so hectic... You lift my mood and keep me laughing through the chaos. What more could anyone ask for in a FRIEND?
You know a chins life aint so easy, Chins life aint no dream, If we aint facing razor blades Its depilatory cream But Im gonna keep my chin up Gonna try keepin up with the pace. Cause life aint so bad at the bottom, At the bottom of your face. Got your food and drink slidin down me When you miss your mouth at meals, Wipe me off with that soft napkin Oooh, I LOVE the way that feels. I like the way you stick me out When youre making a demand. I like how when youre tired I get cuddled in your hand. Oh yeah, were gonna keep our chins up Gonna smile all over the place. Cause lifes good at the bottom At the bottom of your face. Hope youre keeping your chin up!
On the highway of life, there are bound to be some bumps in the road . . . along with crater-sized potholes, backed-up construction traffic, and that one jerk who always cuts you off. (But anyway, you'll get through it.)
Hey, there, Caelin Carrot. You're looking very thin! Thanks, Celereee! That color is so in! How 'bout you, Carly Flower --- take a dip recently? You know it, girl! Only half a calorie! We're totally offensive, we know we don't have taste. We ruin a good meal. Out to dinner? What a waste. When everyone is ordering the shrimp in beer-fried batter. You have the healthy choice, the heart-good veggie platter. But you don't have an option, you want to watch your weight. We're the ones you have to chow on, the ones you truly hate. We're the veggies in your life, the mean ol' legume platter. If you do not eat us, you know that you'll grow fatter. We're the veggies on your table, what a gastrotastrophe! And then for after dinner, replace the pie with some green tea.
This Halloween, why settle for the same old, boring jack-o-lantern when you can have a crack-o-lantern or a Yack-o-lantern or a Rack-o-lantern or a Wack-o-lantern or a Mac-o-lantern HAPPY HALLOWEEN :-)
A little song for your promotionahemP is for the Pride you must be feeling. R is for the Raise that you have earned. O is for the Orders you'll be barking. M is for the monstrous things you've learned. O is for the Office that you'll rule from. T is for the Tyrant you'll become. E is for Employees who will hate you! D is for the Days they'll call you scum! Uh, sorry...occasionally my bitterness gets the best of me. what I mean to say is...Congratulations on your Promotion!
It's your birthday and I'm here to sing you a... uhhhh... brief song to help you get your party on. Let us begin... Happy happy underpants, do the Happy Birthday Dance, happy happy underpants, ohhhhh.... Do the Happy Birthday Dance! Happy Birthday!
I just want to say in my own special way... thanks! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you!
Few things in nature mesmerize me more Than the sight of the first fallen leaf of autumn As it flutters listlessly to the earth below, I ponder the inevitable change of seasons And the promise of the weeks ahead But mostly, I think about that lazy leaf And why it couldnt hang on for one more day. I mean, all the other leaves did it. Why couldnt he? Its not like hes single handedly staving off winter But it couldnt hurt, you know... One more day of summer. What a jerk. I hope someone steps on him. Anyway, have a great autumn . . .
If I could, Id find a fairy godmother with a magical wand and combat boots so that she could grant your wishes and kick the crap out of anything that tried to get in the way of your happiness. But in the meantime, I got your back.