Anchormen won't be reading it on the television news. You won't find it on Page One of the Daily Evening Blues. It won't be on the New York Times Bestsellers list. The drive-time morning DJs won't play the song they missed. But the most important thing to know Won't be on the news today -- oh, no. That a one and only woman Was born this special day. She makes the morning news with the smile that she shares. She's a best-selling novel with the way she loves and cares. She's a special-interest story with her beauty day by day. She's a number one song that the radio should play. But the most important thing to know Won't be on the news today -- oh, no. That a one and only woman Was born this special day. Happy Birthday to a one and only woman.
A special little tune just for you
Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low?
That song's not so funny anymore!
Happy birthday, anyway
Hey, there, Caelin Carrot. You're looking very thin!
Thanks, Celereee! That color is so in!
How 'bout you, Carly Flower --- take a dip recently?
You know it, girl! Only half a calorie!
We're totally offensive, we know we don't have taste.
We ruin a good meal. Out to dinner? What a waste.
When everyone is ordering the shrimp in beer-fried batter.
You have the healthy choice, the heart-good veggie platter.
But you don't have an option, you want to watch your weight.
We're the ones you have to chow on, the ones you truly hate.
We're the veggies in your life, the mean ol' legume platter.
If you do not eat us, you know that you'll grow fatter.
We're the veggies on your table, what a gastrotastrophe!
And then for after dinner, replace the pie with some green tea.
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