Top 5 Excuses for Missing Your Birthday 5. The string I tied around my finger (so I wouldn't forget) came off in the shower. 4. The video of my cat playing the piano went viral, and I thought I was too good for my old acquaintances. 3. I was busy taking a bullet for the president. 2. I was putting on a puppet show for neighborhood kids, and they insisted on several encores. And the number one reason: I'm the worst. Anyway, Happy Birthday!
Gray hair -- and lots of wrinkled skin that's sagging, Just when in the world did this begin? I swear! If I'm not sleeping, then I'm dragging! This phase of life will do me in! Goodness, gracious! Why am I so tired? All the aches and pains that I've acquired Seem to sap my very will -- I need a nap -- I need a pill! Hand me down my shawl, 'cause I'm afraid I've caught a chill. Holy moly! Why are we so tired? Seems our lifetime battery's expired. As sure as ocean leads to shore, As sure as dinnertime's at 4! We'll need a second wind before we rest FOR EVER-MORE! Hope your birthday is a classic!
Hey there (recipient's name) Today is (occasion) Wanna send a little slice of paradise your way! Straight from (sender's name) Hope you're (favorite activity) Do whatever you want, cause it's a special day! Out at the tiki hut, Take a drink from a coconut! Sing songs by the ocean front, for you. These sunny skies -- so blue, A little bar with an ocean view, Singin' this song, just for you. Sending a little song just for you!
'Tis a fine day at sea, me matey, RECIPIENT -- Ship shape and the skies be clear. We're celebratin' OCCASION Heave ho, ye buccaneer! So raise your mug of BEVERAGE, Before it's too late, me hearty. SENDER would like to say, "Come on, let's have a party!" RECIPIENT
Hola "RECIPIENT" It's your birthday, we're here to party, And sing to you. It's from "SENDER" Hope you are bueno, the fun will rain-o The whole day through. From the gulf up to the mountains, The city lights and fountains, We hope you're birthday's excellente. Cuz today you're turning "AGE" So perhaps you should "ACTIVITY" Cuz today is your day Hola "RECIPIENT" You deserve a grand fiesta, And later on siesta, And the best of everything! Happy Birthday
Well the mountain springs and the morning breeze are calling your name! Happy Birthday, Dear (recipient's name) It ring-ding-ding-ding-dings like music to my ears! Let's celebrate (xx Years)! Hope your birthday's guten! Come on and shake your booten! From my head down to my toes-en; every stitch of lederhosen, Wishes you a birthday beyond compare! May the sunlight sparkle in your (type of eyes), And the wind blow gently through your (type of hair)! Happy Birth-da-day-hee-hoo!
I wanna wanna wish you a happy birthday, I wanna wanna help you celebrate. I wanna wanna wish you lots of presents, I wanna wanna help you eat your cake. If you party party in the island way you be jammin' till the light of day. Your birthday birthday is your day to shine Another year and you be lookin' fine. So have no worries and don't hesitate, it's time to party party, time to celebrate. Hope your birthday's happy all day and all night!
Oh (recipient's name) Here's a very special birthday song Made just for you by (sender's name) Let's all sing along! We'll celebrate, but not with cake, Just blow out all the candles On your (recipient's favorite food) More fun than you can handle! Oh (recipient's name) You're *turning (recipient's age) today! So hope all your birthday wishes come your way-- Have a Happy Birthday! It's your birthday-- find your happy place!
Lyrics: Its you-a day to celebrate, its you day to have-a-some fun With sweets and treats and you fav-or-ite eats, and youll have a wonderful one. Its you day to have-a you cake. It's you-a day to eat-a it too Its you-a day to get your way cause you-a birthdays all about you. With singing and greetings and festive proceedings, from morning till late in the day, Youre the star of the show and youre MAGNIFICO put the hip in the hip-hip-hooray! Its you-a day to celebrate, its you day to have-a-some fun With sweets and treats and you fav-or-ite eats, and youll have a wonderful one. Its you day to have-a you cake. Its you-a day to eat-a it too Its you-a day to get your way cause you-a birthday is all about you. Heres hoping your day may be MOLTO BENE* with wishes from all of your friends! And problems? Theyll be no with everything FINO** until-a you birthday it ends! Happy Birthday!
It's time to get funky, (recipient's name)! Yow! Hey! Hey! Hey! Come on! We gotta, gotta sing about (special occasion)! Let's celebrate! This is gonna be great! Cut loose! And go (favorite activity) You're the greatest one around! Put on your (favorite clothes) Can you dig what I'm puttin' down! Let's get funky! Wow! I'll say it again (special occasion)! Wow! Hear me now! Have a funkadelic day!
Your birthday's here, you've lived another year, the hugs and high-fives, too, They're all for you -- you know it's true. As every candle twinkles, The balloons and sprinkles, Yellow, red and blue -- They're all for you! They're all for you! Have a Sweet Birthday
Well, I'm hopin' that your birthday has cold drinks by the score, With presents, friends, and toasting, and festive grub galore. Or Maybe karaoke With all your pals a-minglin', There'll be downhome music That'll get your spurs a-jinglin'. 'Cause it's your birthday now. The End. Happy Birthday
Oh (name) you know I love you so much! C'mon Baby, put on your (favorite clothes) looking so fine. I want to eat you up like a (favorite dessert) you drive me out of my mind! Baby, don't you know I think you're so divine! I want to take you out and go (favorite activity) till the end of time! (name) I love you! Ooooohhhh Yeeeaaah
Today is your birthday, an occasion of joy and glee, A national holiday it should be...SOON. I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be except for here to sing you this nice...TUNE. You were born... Long ago... Long ago. Long ago. Long ago. Long ago. Long ago. Long ago. So now, let's get started it's time for a party time for a blast a fine repast and lots of guests... It's a birthday, it's a party, pull your socks up, time for a blast. Let's go...get some CAKE! celebrate...with CAKE! party hats...and CAKE! cake...and more CAKE! It's time to celebrate, have a big piece of cake It's time to celebrate, have a big piece of cake Don't count your calories, we've spent our salaries on fancy birthday presents for you. La la la la la la, La la la la la la La la la la la la, La la la la Don't count your calories, we've spent our salaries on fancy birthday presents for you. So we will party till we have tummy aches I'll have some ice cream and lots of cake I want some cake I sure like cake... Oh! Lots oooooooooofff CAKE! La la la la la la, La la la la la la La LA LAAAAAAAAH!
Another year older? Is age affecting your memory? Find out by playing the Memory Madness Game Take five seconds to study each photo. When your time is up, you'll have a chance To prove you have the mind Of a twenty-year-old. START! How many tires were visible? A. two B. three C. four What was on the building's windows? A. paint B. bars C. awning How many women were at the bar? A.two B.three C.four What color was the plate the cake was set on? A. pink B. yellow C. black What color were the traffic lights? A. red B. yellow C. green What was on the floor? A. balloons B. confetti C. streamers What did the monkey have in its mouth? A. a thumb B. a pacifier C. nothing You scored X out of XX I hope you remember to have a happy birthday!
Well, honor your partner, step to the side, Smooth out your feathers, straighten your hide, The cows have come home and the chickens just flew in, The Birthday Hoedown is what we're doin'! Make a birthday wish, then wish some more, We're gonna do-si-do until we're sore. Grab your partner by the hoof or a wing, Now promenade, let's see you swing. Here's a birthday wish, warm and sincere - Have a happy birthday and a happy year. Now blow out your candles, go have some cake - Take your time - we need a break. Happy Birthday!
Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . . Today is your birthday, Time for a soiree, Hip, hip hooray, Its a birthday rock! Another year older, A little less bolder, Toesre feelin colder, Its a birthday rock! For breakfast now its Bran Flakes, Loud and sudden wind breaks, Oh, Lordy, I get back aches, Its a birthday rock! On my plate is puree, On my head a toupee, Most evenings we do crochet, Its a birthday rock! Hey-ho, happy birthday, Hey-ho, happy birthday . . .
I am going to thank you now, Thank you good Thank you loud. I am going to thank you now For all that you have done! You really are the cats meow, a-and how So take a bow. I am going to thank you now For all that you have done! Im not sure what I would do Without you, this is true. So That is Why Im thanking you For all that you have done! Generous and kindly, too That is you, hope you knew. So that is why Im thanking you For all that you have done! Thanks a Ton!
Getting old Getting old Getting old today Count the years Face the truth Whats your body say? Stretch you back Crack your neck How you feel today? Getting old Getting old today Seen my keys? Ow, my knees! Whys the print so small? Hard to see Have to pee And that isnt all First Im hot Then Im cold Now I cant recall What I said Oh, the hell with it all Make a wish! Blow out the candles on your cake and dont leave anything to chance Cross your legs! Cause when youre laughing you dont want to accidently wet your pants. Forget about Calories and carbohydrates -- all the stuff that makes you fat Eat some cake The only clothing you will fit in later will just be your hat. Have a good Have a good Have a good Birthday That is all That is all That I have to say Ill repeat One more time Therefore, if I may Have a good Have a good Birthday!
Hey, is it your birthday? I hope so, because I have a special birthday song for you. But even if it isn't your birthday, I'm going to sing it anyway because you look kinda like someone who wants to hear a song today. Okay, here we go... Ahem... Oooooooooooh.... I'm a hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, and today is your birthday! I'm juicy and delicious, and I just want to say, happy birthday, birthday, birthday, to you! Yay for your birthday! Hope it's happy and delicious!
You're 40! Do you realize that 40 years ago . . . Call waiting referred to a line outside a phone booth. A flat screen was something you put in your window to keep the insects out . . . An airbag was someone who talked too much. Spam was found only in the kitchen. A cell phone was what you used to make your one call from jail . . . and a birthday was something you actually looked forward to! Happy 40th Birthday
Happy Birthday One of the best things about having a birthday is making a wish. But it'll only come true if you blow out all your candles. Make a wish and click! This can be a problem if some jokester fools you with trick candles. But don't give up yet! CLICK again! As the candles light back up. click to get rid of as many as you can. You have 15 seconds before your wish wears off. Click the cake to begin. Time: Score: Congratulations! Your wish is ## times more likely to come true. And I'm wishing you a happy birthday, too!
How Cats Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at first light. Sit on owner's face until they wake up. 2. Loudly demand birthday breakfast be served. 3. Shun two kinds of cat food. Shun owner, then grudgingly eat organic tuna. 4. Visit "magic box." Find conditions unacceptable. 5. Enjoy "private time" behind sofa. 6. Enjoy watching owner clean "magic box" and area behind sofa. 7. Practice the ol' yoga stretches. 8. Hork hairball into secret hiding place. 9. Stare at wall. Pretend to "see" something owner cannot. 10. Sleep for 18 hours. Start all over again. Hope your birthday is just as much fun!
Cant get out to the golf course on your birthday? Thats no reason to go bananas! Now you can spend some time practicing your putts with a game of Monkey Mini-Golf! How To Play Par, birdie bogeyyou know all that stuff, right? Well, heres how to play the Monkey Mini-Golf game! Click you mouse to drop you ball wherever you want to on the tee box. After youve made your drop, click and drag your mouse away from the ball to create a stroke arrow. The bigger and longer the stroke arrow, the harder your swing is going to be. Sand traps will slow you down, and ice traps will speed you up. Other than that, just watch out for hills and other obstacles and try to get it into the hole in as few shots as you can! PLAY Happy Birthday! Its your day to monkey around.
Hey, amigo-- it's your lucky day! I've got a muy bueno song just for you! Ready? Alla vamos! What would you like-- chicken or beef? Today is your birthday, you have to believe! I wish you the best hope your day is just bueno. Feliz cumpleanos from your singing taco! Happy Birthday
You two go together Like sunsets and cuddles, Like fires and s'mores, Like jumping and puddles. Like daisies and bees, Like strolls and warm weather, Like butterflies and kisses, You go perfectly together! Happy Anniversary!
Today's your birthday. I wish you many more, parties galore, fun till you snore. Time to celebrate this day for you. The day of your earthly debut! Blow out your candles then grab a balloon. And sing this birthday tune. Today's your birthday, we wish you many more, parties glaore, friendly rapport. Time to celebrate your special day. You're the first to go through the buffet! Open your presents then we'll be along to sing this birthday song!
We've had our share of busy times, we've had our share of quiet. We've had our share of working hard and times that were a riot! We've had our share of differences, and, sure, we've had a spat. We've had our share of making up --- and, boy, we're good at that! We've shared the good, we've shared the great, we've shared a tear or two. And I wouldn't trade a moment of the times I've shared with you! Happy Anniversary with Love.
It's time for really random objects celebrating birthdays, yeah. Are you kidding? I love birthdays! I usually don't get many gifts for my birthday-- mostly just cash. Yeah, me too. I'd like to get a kitten for my birthday. I'm not really a dog person. I get so many birthday cards! There might even be one in here for you! I love birthdays, but I never get my own birthday I always have to celebrate it with you-know-who. Bleep! birthdays! Hey, hey, hey! Leave me alone! What's wrong with the mailbox on the corner? I'm in the prime of my life. I've still got plenty of time. Nevermind. OMG! I get so excited for birthdays! Hope your birthday is full of random fun!
A pre-trip reminder for you: Tie up loose ends at work. Re-check travel and hotel arrangements. Perform proper credit card maintenance. Empty out everything in fridge. Give neighbor final house-sitting instructions. Promise you will relax and have a good time. Enjoy your vacation!
Boobs or Butt It's Not Rocket Science Instructions: Look at the pictures. Boobs? Butt? You be the judge. Make an educated guess, click your choice, and get a view of the bigger picture. Close Hope Your Birthday Is Happy no ifs ands or butts!
Today's is the birthday of someone I know Sometimes I call it 'b-day' just for short And sing a B-Day Ditty Yeah, a B-Day Ditty I sing the ditty in the city or I sing it on a country lane. Well, I like b-days cause I think they're fun I hope you like b-days cause you're the one I sing this B-Day Ditty Yeah, this B-Day Ditty Cause you're the one I sing this funny B-Day Ditty to. Hap-Hap-py B-Day Hap-Hap-py B-Day I say a hap, hap, hap, hap I say a pee pee pee pee I say a hap, hap, happy B-Day, Birthday to you Yeah, you're the one I sing this Happy B-Day Ditty to! Happy Birthday!
I'm an awesome pear so cool and sweet, Which is why I am so loved from my stem to my feet. When it come to pears only the best will do, The only thing that can beat a pear like me... is a pair like you. Youre such a good pair Happy anniversary to youuuuuuuuu Happy Anniversary
Break out the formula and stock up the diapers There's a party goin' on and we're all a little hyper We got a pimped-out ride, don't need no stroller Hey today's your birthday: you're another year older Don't-cha be illin' now bout' your age We babies think birthdays are all the rage It's time to give a holla' cuz you're such a nice person Ain't no-one more important since we stopped nursin' Everybody [WHAT!] Everybody in the crib! Everybody [WHAT!] Everybody wear a bib! Everybody in the crib for your birthday! Everybody in the crib for your birthday! Let's have a celebration fit for a king We've got sippy cups and pacifiers iced with bling We've got prime rib served as a fine puree It's a party mutha-[expletive] cuz today's your day! Well it looks like we may have to call it a night I just overheard we're runnin' out of baby wipes Shout out one last time "Happy Birthday to You" Then let's split before we all smell like drool and poo Yo! Sending a birthday shout-out to one of my favorite peeps!
How Dogs Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. Wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny-looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Hope your birthday is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)
I heard you're not feeling great, so I thought you should meet, Will, the e-male nurse. Time for another sponge bath. This warm oil massage ought to improve your circulation. Would you like a gin chaser for your four o'clock meds? Into bed with you, right now! I'll just take off my shirt and help you with that crossword puzzle. Get Will soon.
On your birthday, Dad, I wanna thank you for teaching me so many valuable lessons, like - "Money doesn't grow on chickens before they're hatched", "The early bird gets a job worth doing well", "Two wrongs don't make a penny earned." and you thought everything you said went in one ear, and walked a mile in their shoes. Happy Birthday!
So, I'm running around like a CRAZY woman, trying to get WAY more done than is humanly possible... when suddenly MY PHONE RINGS and I think oh no, WHAT NOW?! But then I see it's YOU and I SMILE, and, for a while anyway, things aren't quite so hectic... You lift my mood and keep me laughing through the chaos. What more could anyone ask for in a FRIEND?
How I tried to remember your birthday! I wrote the date upon my hand and also in a planner. I hired a plane to jog my brain by pulling a great big banner. I taped your picture on the fridge so thoughts of you would linger. And finally, I found some string . . . and tied it to my finger. But I must've tied it too tight, 'cause I cut off my circulation, passed out, and didn't come to until your birthday was over. Happy Belated!
Some Sons (A Birthday poem just for you) Some sons are polite and sweet. Some have nasty-smelling feet. Some join bands and play the drums. Others exercise their thumbs . . . Some do well in every class. Some delight in passing gas. Some are rude and awfully loud . . . And some sure make their family proud! (You're definitely one of those!) Happy Birthday, Son.
Thank you! Thank you! Hey everyone, I'm Tiffany. And I'm Therese. I'm white! And I'm hot! And we're the White Hot Divas! Hey, everyone! Prepare for fun! It's birthday song. The melody comes easily, so you can sing along. A birthday's here just once a year so let's not get this wrong. We're happy to sing for a great human being...that's YOU! Hey, everyone! Prepare for fun! It's birthday song. Got the cake, time to partake and join the happy throng. Hope your wishes all come true. If they don't, well, what're ya gonna do? We'll still celebrate this happy date and laugh the whole night long. Happy Birthday
Ready, OK! Here's a song for a Dad named (recipient) Give that man a trophy He's a Dad who know his stuff He really rocks (personal characteristic) He's a man who's really tough. He's a Dad who (favorite activity) Stand proud! Stand tall! He's a Dad who loves (favorite food) He's the greatest Dad of all! Happy Birthday to a great Dad!
You've heard the tune, but do you know the words? Hold your head high and sing along with the band at the top of your lungs as you march down the aisle on your graduation day! I finished my homework. I finished each test. I'm done with my teachers, Check me out, I'm the best. Don't need any Cliff notes, No more rushing to class. I'm officially history. You can kiss my ass. I'm graduating. The world can kiss my ass.
I just want to say in my own special way... thanks! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you! Thank you, thank you Thank you, thank you, thank you Oooo, yeah, thank you!
Experts say 30 minutes of exercise a day will add years to your life. So I hired this hamster to do it for you.... click here to start; the click here to stop the pain. ...but watching him for 29 more minutes would probably be more painful than doing it yourself thanks Have a happy birthday - and a healthy year!
In honor of your birthday, an exotic dancer is here to help you celebrate - and the best part is, you get to pick the moves! Warning: Adult Material Click here to proceed. Start by filling the boxes below with the steamy dance steps. It's easy! Just drag them down with your mouse in any order you want! THE STEPS: Full Frontal Workin' It Hard Who's Your Daddy? Naked Handstand Swingin' 'Em High HAPPY BIRTHDAY
99 thank you's up here on a wall. 99 thank you's up here. You take one down and pass it around. Now there's 98 thank you's up on a wall. 98 thank you's up here on a wall. 98 thank you's up here. You take one down and pass it around. Now there's 97 thank you's up on a wall. Can't thank you enough.
Do I wish you joy and happiness? Do I wish you skies of blue? Do I wish you Happy Birthday? You can bet your nuts I do. Do I wish you lots of laughter with yer friends and family, too? Do I wish you Happy Birthday? You can bet your nuts I do. Do I wish you lots of luck in every little thing you do? Do I wish you Happy Birthday? You can bet your nuts I do. Do I wish you a day thats fun, and year thats great all through? Do I wish you Happy Birthday? You can bet your nuts I do.
Got a second to swing by to say hello? Do it with this personalized add-a-photo! Simply submit your photo, and well put it on an animated TBD and send it to the person or persons of your choice in the form of a Just Because ecard. Click on the button below to select your photo. Close-up face shots work best, so be sure you use a nice, clear photo! Just swinging by to say Hi!
Oh, yay, todays your birthday, so celebrate with class, Dont drink so much, that You end up behaving like an Aspirins great for headaches and, hopefully with luck You wont have any need for them Today, cause that would Suckers, gum and candies, they all taste mighty swell, But if you get no birthday cake, Your friends should rot in Helicopters, limos, Perhaps a big parade? Free drinks and toasts and presents -- Who knows? You might get Later in the evening. you should relax a bit Make sure you get some sleep tonight, or else youll feel like Uhmreally tired!
An Apology Huh? Oh, hey... sorry. Forgive me? Yes No Okay, look, I mean it this time. I'm really sorry. I was a jerk. I'm begging ya, man. You gotta forgive me. You just gotta forgive me. Please, please! I'm so sorry. I'm a worm. A worm! Tell me you forgive me! Clearly words are not enough so feel free to punish me until I have earned your forgiveness. Forgive me Punish me I'm so sorry. Hey, thanks! Can we go now?
Cowboy Jukebox Im just sittin round here thinkin Its around your birthday time, And Im wishin A good ol birthday to you, . My cowboy hat is white, My cowboy boots are tight, And Im wishin, A good ol birthday to you, . Well, my guitars outta tune, I need a ride to the saloon, My grits fell off my spoon, Ill need to find a spittoon soon. The cows have left the barn, but I dont give a darn Cuz Im wishin, A good ol birthday to you, . Happy Birthday
You can spend your birthday watching programs on TV, You can take a cruise around the Caribbean Sea, You can blow out candles, have a hundred presents to behold... But no matter what you do, you still are getting old. But no matter what you do, we hope your birthday's big and bold. That still works. Not bad. Nicer is better. Let's just go with that. Happy Birthday!
For a Special Birthday treat, Frankie, The Counting Canine, will stomp out your age with his foot. Okay, boy, go to it! Oh, no! You killed him! Mustve been too much for his poor little body to take. Oh, well . . . Happy Birthday, Anyway
It's your birthday and I'm here to sing you a... uhhhh... brief song to help you get your party on. Let us begin... Happy happy underpants, do the Happy Birthday Dance, happy happy underpants, ohhhhh.... Do the Happy Birthday Dance! Happy Birthday!
Years from now, I hope we're a couple of feisty old broads who go to lunch together and fight over the bill and steal all the sugar packets. Here's to being hell-raisers, now and forever! Happy Birthday
A special little tune just for you Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low? That song's not so funny anymore! Happy birthday, anyway
Its time to test your concentration with THE ULTIMATE DISTRACTION GAME! Think you have amazing powers of concentrations? Prove it! See if you can resist the eye candy and spot the details. Well let you know how you did at the end! Youll have 5 seconds to look at an image START NOW! Just wanted you to know I was "remembering" you! Have a Nice Day!
Someone very special's birthday is today . I sure hope it's mighty nice in every way. Hope your cake is just delicious and you get all of your wishes, Oh, it's someone special's birthday on this day. Happy Birthday!
Outside Verse: Hey, Birthday Queen here are some things you can do to make your big day fabulous Inside Verse: PRESS HERE (instructions w/arrow) Pick up the phone and call in sick! Have a girls night out (but just dont end up on Girls Gone Wild). Wear your sexiest outfit and get free drinks. Order frou-frou umbrella drinks all night. Three words: full body massage. Order every dessert on the menu! Get lots of gifts (even if you buy them yourself). Go shopping and max out your credit card. Happy Birthday
Im happy, todays a good day, Im all smiles Cause Im not rolled up and stuck inside a dresser drawer or buried with tube socks and smelly argyles in a hamper or a big pile on the floor. A socks life can be somewhat exciting Though things rarely happen that are drastic, For feet, our job is to be inviting By staying fuzzy and elastic So lets raise our reinforced toes up and cheer Well hug every single foot we have a chance to meet. From cotton to nylon to wool and cashmere Well claim victory every time we face de feet Feet Feet How we love the feet Feet Feet Life is surely sweet Go on runs, jogs, or walks Dont forget were your socks. Todays a good day. Enjoy it.
The threat is real. In homes across the worldAt any momentWithout warningRenegade hormones can ATTACK! That's why the Homelife Security PMS Advisory System was developed. The Homelife Security PMS Advisory System is designed to help often-complacent males recognize the PMS warning signs and become better prepared in the event of an attack. SEVERE - Secure objects that may be thrown. - Hide all sharp implements. - Hide yourself. - Close windows (so that neighbors can't hear ranting, raving, and crying) - Be prepared to flee at a moment's notice. HIGH - Expect wild mood swings. - Bloating may cause attacks on closets, drawers, and significant others. - Keeping your mouth shut is a solid contingency plan. - Stock large quantities of chocolate. ELEVATED - You may think it's only "that time," but PMS attacks can occur spontaneously. - Avoid flip comments and lame attempts at humor. - Approach with caution. - Be prepared for general weepiness. - Memorize escape routes. GUARDED - Hormones happen. - You can relax somewhat, but it's wise to be on guard! - Review emergency procedures. - Practice protective responses such us ducking and groveling. LOW - The evil twin has disappeared.(That was sooo last week) - Things are calm and normal behavior patterns reestablished. - Apologies are accepted and all is well - for now! Just remember - hormones are out there, AND THEY KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! No cause for alarm - Just saying "Hi."
Hey, there, Caelin Carrot. You're looking very thin! Thanks, Celereee! That color is so in! How 'bout you, Carly Flower --- take a dip recently? You know it, girl! Only half a calorie! We're totally offensive, we know we don't have taste. We ruin a good meal. Out to dinner? What a waste. When everyone is ordering the shrimp in beer-fried batter. You have the healthy choice, the heart-good veggie platter. But you don't have an option, you want to watch your weight. We're the ones you have to chow on, the ones you truly hate. We're the veggies in your life, the mean ol' legume platter. If you do not eat us, you know that you'll grow fatter. We're the veggies on your table, what a gastrotastrophe! And then for after dinner, replace the pie with some green tea.
They say that no two flakes are alike except in this case. Try to match each flake to its identical twin. Click on the boxes to match the flakes as quickly as you can. Go fast enough and they'll sing when you're done! Good Luck!
Ahoy from the Pirate 'Stache Hear the waves crash, Smell the sea on my mustache, Says the hairy pirate lip, "All aboard the birthday ship!" So lift your glass, to your mustache-- swash bucklin' birthday to you! Yo ho! Yo-ho-hope your birthday is happy!
Hey, Guy I thought about hiring strippers for your birthday, but then I found some gals who are even more entertaining! [word balloon:] Wheres the birthday boy? Dont act like youre not impressed. Happy Birthday
On the highway of life, there are bound to be some bumps in the road . . . along with crater-sized potholes, backed-up construction traffic, and that one jerk who always cuts you off. (But anyway, you'll get through it.)
Like a star meant only for us, Everything about our love Takes me to a place that Shines with complete happiness and makes me feel perfect, Giving me all I could Ever need or want in life. So, Trust me when I tell you Im yours forever, and Nothing could change All these feelings in my heart. Youre the Key that unlocks all my tomorrows Each and every new day is another Dream-come-true! So, any ideas on how we should celebrate your birthday?
Office Voodoo. Is someone at work making your life miserable? Then it's time forContinue. Virtual office VOODOO! Continue. Just type the name of the person you'd like to get back at in the space provided, select your method of office "torture" and let the fun begin! Continue. Fountain Pen. Hot Coffee. Push Pins. Staple Gun. Gas Attack. Night Janitor. Shredder. Type name here. Done. New name. Censored. Hope that helped you feel better. Now get back to work! Click here email to a friend!
You know a chins life aint so easy, Chins life aint no dream, If we aint facing razor blades Its depilatory cream But Im gonna keep my chin up Gonna try keepin up with the pace. Cause life aint so bad at the bottom, At the bottom of your face. Got your food and drink slidin down me When you miss your mouth at meals, Wipe me off with that soft napkin Oooh, I LOVE the way that feels. I like the way you stick me out When youre making a demand. I like how when youre tired I get cuddled in your hand. Oh yeah, were gonna keep our chins up Gonna smile all over the place. Cause lifes good at the bottom At the bottom of your face. Hope youre keeping your chin up!
I'm thinkin' about you and hope you're thinkin' about me. So I guess I'm thinkin' about you thinkin' about me. And I wonder if you're thinking about me thinking about you Cause now Im thinking about you thinking about me thinkin' about you. So I'm thinkin' about you thinking about me thinking about you when I'm not just thinkin' about you. And I think about you thinkin' about me thinking about you or if you're just thinking about me. I was just thinking about you. (I think)
They're hicky and they're hokey, They like to drink and smoky, They're down and dirty folky, The Redneck Family. Their house is set on wheels, They guzzle all their meals Their pet don't bark, it squeals, The Redneck Family. Rude! Crude! Lewd! When you ain't feeling hot Be glad for what you got, At list your kin is not The Redneck Family
Welcome to the "Just Because" Jukebox, the only greeting that lets you customize a song with any name you choose! Use the drop-down list to select the name to be sung in the Song there are hundreds to choose from! Click "Continue" once you've picked a name. Select a range: A-G H-M N-Z: Search A-G H-M N-Z: Can't find a name? Check here. Continue Building Your "Just Because" Jukebox Greeting! It's Ready! Click the "Continue" button to see your greeting! Remember - only members can send this card! Join first to make a card you can send. Already a member? Sign in above!
A little song for your promotionahemP is for the Pride you must be feeling. R is for the Raise that you have earned. O is for the Orders you'll be barking. M is for the monstrous things you've learned. O is for the Office that you'll rule from. T is for the Tyrant you'll become. E is for Employees who will hate you! D is for the Days they'll call you scum! Uh, sorry...occasionally my bitterness gets the best of me. what I mean to say is...Congratulations on your Promotion!
I don't have gossip about our friends. I'm not gonna tell you how a movie ends. I've no suggestions to submit, or cosmic wavelengths to transmit. I don't have any breaking news to share, and I won't yell that life's not fair. There's no big sale (unfortunately). I'm not collecting for charity. This isn't some bad talent show... It's just a song to say, Hello!
If I could, Id find a fairy godmother with a magical wand and combat boots so that she could grant your wishes and kick the crap out of anything that tried to get in the way of your happiness. But in the meantime, I got your back.
Few things in nature mesmerize me more Than the sight of the first fallen leaf of autumn As it flutters listlessly to the earth below, I ponder the inevitable change of seasons And the promise of the weeks ahead But mostly, I think about that lazy leaf And why it couldnt hang on for one more day. I mean, all the other leaves did it. Why couldnt he? Its not like hes single handedly staving off winter But it couldnt hurt, you know... One more day of summer. What a jerk. I hope someone steps on him. Anyway, have a great autumn . . .
Here are some MANLY things to do PRESS HERE. FIX SOMETHING. BREAK SOMETHING. BREAK SOMETHING ATTEMPTING TO FIX IT. DRINK A BEER. DRINK SIX BEERS! BREAK SOMETHING ATTEMPTING TO FIX IT. (yes, its on here twice. I know you.) WATCH TV. FALL ASLEEP WATCHING TV. whatever you do, HAVE FUN!
Im guessing youve got nothing better to do, so lets play Quarters! Play Game Instructions Click on the hand to bounce a quarter into a shotglass. The glasses are moving, so be sure to watch your timing! You have ten chances to sink at least five quarters in order to move through to the next level. The point values go up with every level, but so does the speed of the shot glasses! For every miss, you must take a drink at the end of the round. With each drink you sobriety meter will decrease. DONE Hows life in the fast lane? Cheers to you!