Gray hair -- and lots of wrinkled skin that's sagging, Just when in the world did this begin? I swear! If I'm not sleeping, then I'm dragging! This phase of life will do me in! Goodness, gracious! Why am I so tired? All the aches and pains that I've acquired Seem to sap my very will -- I need a nap -- I need a pill! Hand me down my shawl, 'cause I'm afraid I've caught a chill. Holy moly! Why are we so tired? Seems our lifetime battery's expired. As sure as ocean leads to shore, As sure as dinnertime's at 4! We'll need a second wind before we rest FOR EVER-MORE! Hope your birthday is a classic!
'Tis a fine day at sea, me matey, RECIPIENT -- Ship shape and the skies be clear. We're celebratin' OCCASION Heave ho, ye buccaneer! So raise your mug of BEVERAGE, Before it's too late, me hearty. SENDER would like to say, "Come on, let's have a party!" RECIPIENT
Oh (recipient's name) Here's a very special birthday song Made just for you by (sender's name) Let's all sing along! We'll celebrate, but not with cake, Just blow out all the candles On your (recipient's favorite food) More fun than you can handle! Oh (recipient's name) You're *turning (recipient's age) today! So hope all your birthday wishes come your way-- Have a Happy Birthday! It's your birthday-- find your happy place!
When the moon hits your eye like a big-a pizza pie That's amore That's amore When the world seems to shine Like you've had too much wine That's amore That's amore When you walk in a dream And you know you're not dreaming signore 'Scusami, but you see Back in old Napoli, That's amore That's amore Happy Anniversary and many amore!
When you're smilin' when you're smilin' The whole world smiles with you. And when you're laughin' oh when you're laughin' The sun comes shinin' through. But when you're cryin' you bring on the rain So stop your sighin' be happy again! Keep on smilin' 'cause when you're smilin' The whole world smiles with you! Hope your birthday finds you smilin'!
To Help You Feel Better . . . I'd fluff up your pillow, straighten your sheets Bring you some soup, or bake you some treats . . . I'd water your plants, turn on the TV Tidy your room or fix you some tea . . . I'd give you a backrub and tuck you in snug But, till I see you again . . . Here's a long-distance HUG! Hope That Helps
What Is Marriage? It's vacuuming carpets and hammering nails. It's saving a dollar by shopping at sales . . . It's balancing checkbooks and paying off bills it's cleaning the windows and mopping up spills. It's doing the laundry and matching up socks. It's a washer that dies when the car needs new shocks . . . It's two busy schedules, but one happy life, With each moment you share as husband and wife! Happy Anniversary
How Cats Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at first light. Sit on owner's face until they wake up. 2. Loudly demand birthday breakfast be served. 3. Shun two kinds of cat food. Shun owner, then grudgingly eat organic tuna. 4. Visit "magic box." Find conditions unacceptable. 5. Enjoy "private time" behind sofa. 6. Enjoy watching owner clean "magic box" and area behind sofa. 7. Practice the ol' yoga stretches. 8. Hork hairball into secret hiding place. 9. Stare at wall. Pretend to "see" something owner cannot. 10. Sleep for 18 hours. Start all over again. Hope your birthday is just as much fun!
Today's is the birthday of someone I know Sometimes I call it 'b-day' just for short And sing a B-Day Ditty Yeah, a B-Day Ditty I sing the ditty in the city or I sing it on a country lane. Well, I like b-days cause I think they're fun I hope you like b-days cause you're the one I sing this B-Day Ditty Yeah, this B-Day Ditty Cause you're the one I sing this funny B-Day Ditty to. Hap-Hap-py B-Day Hap-Hap-py B-Day I say a hap, hap, hap, hap I say a pee pee pee pee I say a hap, hap, happy B-Day, Birthday to you Yeah, you're the one I sing this Happy B-Day Ditty to! Happy Birthday!
How Dogs Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. Wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny-looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Hope your birthday is just as much fun! (Except for the "poopy" thing.)