Cover Verse: Knock! Knock! Who's there? Betty! Betty who? Inside Verse: Betty watch out, Betty not cry, Betty not pout, I'm telling you why... 'cause it's Christmas, Alyssa -- the season to be JOLLY! Hope Your Christmas is Lots of Fun!
Cover Verse: A Birthday Question for You, Ashley If two birthday cakes were walking down the street, and one cake was walking at 2 mph, the other one at 3 mph, at what point would the cakes be exactly 100 feet apart from one another? Inside Verse: CAKES DON'T WALK, YA MORON!!
Cover Verse: Psychologists have determined that the way you eat Easter jellybeans can reveal your personality. If you eat all your favorites first, you live for the moment and like instant gratification. If you save your favorites for last, you're a self-disciplined person maybe too self-disciplined as you plan for a future that may never arrive. Inside Verse: If you eat them in no particular order, you take life as it comes. You make no effort to control your own destiny. Perhaps your lackadaisical attitude has created chaos in your once contented and organized life...! Wait a minute! Who cares what a bunch of headshrinkers say? In fact, why eat jellybeans when you can go for the chocolate rabbit? Oh. And have a Happy Easter.
Cover Verse: Hey Frank, there's a party, and you're invited! Inside Verse: Kinda gives you a reason to go on living, doesn't it? Friday Night, September 23rd 7:00 p.m. Pizza and Beer at Sharon's (You bring the beer!) 555-3345
Cover Verse: Good-bye from All of Us We wanted to have an airplane fly our good-bye message across the sky... Inside Verse: ...but this is all we could afford. We'll Sure Miss You,Todd Good-bye and Good Luck from Stu, Mark, Mike, and Vicki
Cover Verse: For Our Boss, Tim Woodlawn Something that doesnt have to be... SUPERVISED, FED BACK, CONTROLLED or DIRECTED, BRAINSTORMED or CANCELED, OKAYED or CORRECTED... Inside Verse: SIGNED or ASSIGNED, REPORTED ON, VOTED, PRESENTED IN CONFERENCE, TALLIED or NOTED... Its just a big wish, and all YOU have to do Is enjoy a fine Christmas and great New Year, too! Happy Holidays from John, Dave, Mary, Lynn, and Pete
Cover Verse: A Graduation Riddle for Jeremy: What's the difference between a hospital gown... and a graduation gown? Inside Verse: One has a bare ass sticking out of the back, and one has a smart ass sticking out of the top. Congratulations
Cover Verse: I'm thankful for many things, Dorothy. The way you feed me. The way you pet me. The way you clean my litter box. But most of all, I'm thankful for... Inside Verse: ...the way I have you trained. Happy Thanksgiving, from Whiskers
Cover Verse: Adrian, you've still got bladder control and most of your original teeth! Inside Verse: The older you get, the harder it becomes for me to think of something positive to tell you. Anyway, Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: Chris, I was just standing here thinking of you, and wondering if you were thinking of me, and if so, were you thinking of me thinking of you... Inside Verse: ...and I got so mixed up, I forgot why I'm sending you this card!
Whether youre typing, word-processing, or writing longhand, the old-fashioned way, personalized stationery is a nice way to express yourself and impress your correspondent.
You'll need: Paper, 8 1/2 x 11 inches. Use plain white paper, colored paper, or preprinted stationery stock.
1. Click on Personalize Your Project to open the Create & Print workspace. 2. Personalize the text. Select the text to write over it or change size, color, and font style. 3. For additional pages, click Add Page and follow the directions. 4. Print your project.
Choose a stationery style that fits your mood whimsical, happy, serious, etc.
Formal stationery traditionally includes the writers name and contact information, but dont feel restricted to that. Specially chosen pictures and quotations can make your stationery uniquely yours.
Many stationery projects have coordinating envelopes, labels, or stickers you can Create & Print as well.
You may want to save your favorite stationery so that you can make more. Click Save and follow the directions.
Cover Verse: Top Ten Signs Youre Getting Older, Roberta: 10.You dont even TRY to be cool anymore. 9.Auto insurance is so darn cheap now! 8.You recently uttered the words, Hey, you kids! Turn down that music! 7.People are starting to ask you how things were in your day. 6.Cake and ice cream give you indigestion. 5.You remember when gasoline cost a dollar a gallon. 4.WHAT? Whatd you say? HUH? 3.Your face has finally cleared up. 2.You tell stories about WALKING to school. AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE GETTING OLDER... Inside Verse: Youve got more friends now than ever before! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Cover Verse: This is a Greeting Card (greting kärd) Directions for Use: 1. Read cover. 2. Place right thumb between pages. 3. Open with left hand. Inside Verse: Directions for Use (cont.): 4. Think about the nice person who sent you this. (See signature.) 5. Smile. 6. Have a nice day, Keith!
Cover Verse: How Cats Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at first light. Sit on owners face until they wake up. 2. Loudly demand breakfast be served. 3. Shun two kinds of cat food. 4. Visit magic box. Find conditions unacceptable. 5. Enjoy private time behind sofa. 6. Practice 'ol yoga stretches. 7. Hork hair ball in secret hiding place. 8. Stare at wall. Pretend to see something owner cannot. 9. Sleep for 18 hours. Start all over again. Inside Verse: Justine, hope your birthday is just as much fun!
Cover Verse: Jordan, here's something to do on your 13th Birthday -- Write yourself a letter about what you expect to be doing 10 years from now, and then put it somewhere where it won't be disturbed for the next decade... Inside Verse: Like, say, under the pile of clothes on your bedroom floor. Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: Georgias Personal Guide to Doctorspeak What Your Doctor Says: What Your Doctor Means: Id like to run a few more tests. (I want the sunroof option for my new sports car.) Please make a follow-up appointment. (Id also like the CD player with the five-disc changer.) Bend over. Bend over. (Hey, some things are bad enough without some deeper meaning.) The nurse will take over from here. (Im late for my tee-off time.) Youll feel some slight discomfort. (This is gonna hurt like hell.) Hmmm thats interesting (What the heck is THAT?) This is a highly treatable disease. (How much insurance do you have?) Inside Verse: What This Card Says: Hope youre better soon, Jerry! What This Card Means: Hope youre better soon, Jerry!
Cover Verse: Jack, I was going to send you a check for your birthday, but I have a male and a female cat, and one of them got hold of it and ate it, and as far as I can figure out... Inside Verse: ...your check's in the male!
Cover Verse: How Dogs Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. Wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny- looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Inside Verse: Brian, hope your birthday is just as much fun! (Except for the poopy thing.)
Cover Verse: If Teenagers Ruled the World Every home would have three phone lines. Parents would never weird out in front of their kid's friends. Every driver's license would include a free sports car. Bedrooms would be self-cleaning. Curfews would be illegal. Inside Verse: Hope all your dreams come true, Andy. Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: Billy, Happy Birthday from the Dog I just love to send cards! Inside Verse: Well, actually, I just like to lick envelopes... and stamps... ...myself... ...the floor... Anyway, Happy Birthday from:
Cover Verse: Thimon Thez, Have a Happy Birthday, Barbara! Thimon Thez, Do thomething nice for yourthelf today, Barbara! Now open thith card and take out the fifty-dollar bill! Inside Verse: Uh, oh! You didnt wait for Thimon Thez!
Cover Verse: Rick, I can't tell you why your birthday card is late without compromising a highly sensitive covert field operation directed by the FBI. Inside Verse: The story I'm using is simply that I forgot it. If anyone asks, that's what happened. (wink wink) Happy Belated Birthday
Cover Verse: I want to wish you a Happy Birthday, Terry! And believe me... Inside Verse: that's no bull! Nope. It's just a cow. Bulls have a...well, you know...a thing between...Oh heck...trust me -- it's no bull.
Cover Verse: Jaime, birthdays are a time to ask yourself the Big Questions in life... Inside Verse: ...like, "How many pieces of cake can I eat and still fit into my underpants tomorrow?" Happy Birthday!
Cover Verse: Before you cut your birthday cake, Micky, which party nose would you rather wear? (choose one) #1 ugly nose #3 funny nose #4 cute nose #2 hairy nose Inside Verse: Now that you've finished picking your nose, wash your hands and have a piece of cake!
Cover Verse: People Have the Darndest Accidents, Julia Some slip on bananas Or fall through thin ice, Hammer their thumbs Or get pinched in a vise. Some walk into manholes Or fall out of bed, Ski into trees Or get bopped on the head. Inside Verse: But whatever it was That just happened to you, Hope that real soon You'll be fixed up like new! Get Well Soon!
Cover Verse: Get in there and Fight, Fight, Fight! You've got the will! You've got the might! You can do it! Yes, you can! Boola! Boola! You da man! Go, Danny! Inside Verse: Just think of me as your very own personal cheerleader. But I'm not going to wear one of those short little skirts or tight sweaters for anything. Pompoms are cool, though.