Cover Verse: To a Guy Named Scott on His Birthday When pictures from your childhood Are in faded black and white, When people start to notice That youve lost an inch of height... When instead of breaking hearts, Youre breaking wind and both your hips, When you get a coronary Every time the market dips... Inside Verse: When all your favorite athletes are retired and overweight, When your closets filled with clothing Thats absurdly out of date... When your bladder starts behaving Like the falls up in Niagara, When you just cant get aroused Without the wonder-drug Viagra®... When all these things start happening, Dont let it wreck your mood... Its natures way of telling you Youre one maturing dude! (Notice how I didnt say old?) Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: TOP TEN REASONS ITS GREAT TO BE A MAN 10. You can open all your own jars. 9. Your underwear is ten bucks for a 3-pack. 8. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, He must be mad at me. 7. You dont have to get out of the shower to pee. 6. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 5. You can do your nails with a pocketknife. 4. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 3. You can get by with only one hairstyle change every ten years. 2. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit - you just become better friends. AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON ITS GREAT TO BE A MAN... Inside Verse: THE OLDER YOU GET, THE MORE YOU FART! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRUCE!
Cover Verse: Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Inside Verse: Teach a man to fish, and he'll spend thousands of dollars on fishing gear and tackle, spend countless hours waiting to catch a few pathetic fish, and bore everybody he knows with tiresome stories about the one that got away. Happy Birthday to a "reel" man.