Cover Verse: A Birthday Question for You, Ashley If two birthday cakes were walking down the street, and one cake was walking at 2 mph, the other one at 3 mph, at what point would the cakes be exactly 100 feet apart from one another? Inside Verse: CAKES DON'T WALK, YA MORON!!
Cover Verse: To a Guy Named Scott on His Birthday When pictures from your childhood Are in faded black and white, When people start to notice That youve lost an inch of height... When instead of breaking hearts, Youre breaking wind and both your hips, When you get a coronary Every time the market dips... Inside Verse: When all your favorite athletes are retired and overweight, When your closets filled with clothing Thats absurdly out of date... When your bladder starts behaving Like the falls up in Niagara, When you just cant get aroused Without the wonder-drug Viagra®... When all these things start happening, Dont let it wreck your mood... Its natures way of telling you Youre one maturing dude! (Notice how I didnt say old?) Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: For Courtneys Birthday Top 10 Reasons Being a Kid Rocks! 10. Playing your own CDs really LOUD! 9. You know more about computers than most adults. 8. Staying up late. (At least on weekends.) 7. Two words: JUNK FOOD! 6. Super strong thumbs from playing video games. 5. Knowing a lot of really good, really gross jokes. 4. Burping contests the sport of champions. 3. Summer vacation, anyone? 2. Watching a movie so many times you know all the words. And the Number 1 Reason Being a Kid Rocks... Inside Verse: 1. Laughing until cake comes out of your nose! Have a Great Birthday!
Cover Verse: According to a recent study, the older a woman gets, the more likely she is to fantasize about having two men... Inside Verse: One to cook and one to clean. Keep dreamin, and have a happy birthday, Karen!!
Cover Verse: TOP TEN REASONS ITS GREAT TO BE A MAN 10. You can open all your own jars. 9. Your underwear is ten bucks for a 3-pack. 8. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, He must be mad at me. 7. You dont have to get out of the shower to pee. 6. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 5. You can do your nails with a pocketknife. 4. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 3. You can get by with only one hairstyle change every ten years. 2. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit - you just become better friends. AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON ITS GREAT TO BE A MAN... Inside Verse: THE OLDER YOU GET, THE MORE YOU FART! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRUCE!
Cover Verse: Happy Birthday to our Son, Carl, who is great-looking, talented, witty, charming, intelligent, and an all-around wonderful human being! Inside Verse: You can thank us later for the good genes. Have a Good One!
Cover Verse: Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Inside Verse: Teach a man to fish, and he'll spend thousands of dollars on fishing gear and tackle, spend countless hours waiting to catch a few pathetic fish, and bore everybody he knows with tiresome stories about the one that got away. Happy Birthday to a "reel" man.
Cover Verse: On your birthday, Colleen Id like to remind you that there are six stages in a woman's life: Stage 1 Baby Stage 2 Girl Stage 3 Teenager Stage 4 Young Woman Inside Verse: Stage 5 Young Woman Stage 6 Young Woman Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: How Cats Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at first light. Sit on owners face until they wake up. 2. Loudly demand breakfast be served. 3. Shun two kinds of cat food. 4. Visit magic box. Find conditions unacceptable. 5. Enjoy private time behind sofa. 6. Practice 'ol yoga stretches. 7. Hork hair ball in secret hiding place. 8. Stare at wall. Pretend to see something owner cannot. 9. Sleep for 18 hours. Start all over again. Inside Verse: Justine, hope your birthday is just as much fun!
Cover Verse: Frank, I dreamed of winning a lottery, but the money never appeared I dreamed of sailing around the world, but never persevered I dreamed of inheriting millions, but no millionaire came through... Inside Verse: I dreamed I'd marry a wonderful guy And guess what? My dreams came true! Happy Birthday, Frank!
Cover Verse: How Dogs Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. Wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny- looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Inside Verse: Brian, hope your birthday is just as much fun! (Except for the poopy thing.)
Cover Verse: If Teenagers Ruled the World Every home would have three phone lines. Parents would never weird out in front of their kid's friends. Every driver's license would include a free sports car. Bedrooms would be self-cleaning. Curfews would be illegal. Inside Verse: Hope all your dreams come true, Andy. Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: Billy, Happy Birthday from the Dog I just love to send cards! Inside Verse: Well, actually, I just like to lick envelopes... and stamps... ...myself... ...the floor... Anyway, Happy Birthday from:
Cover Verse: Thimon Thez, Have a Happy Birthday, Barbara! Thimon Thez, Do thomething nice for yourthelf today, Barbara! Now open thith card and take out the fifty-dollar bill! Inside Verse: Uh, oh! You didnt wait for Thimon Thez!
Cover Verse: I want to wish you a Happy Birthday, Terry! And believe me... Inside Verse: that's no bull! Nope. It's just a cow. Bulls have a...well, you know...a thing between...Oh heck...trust me -- it's no bull.
Cover Verse: Jack, I was going to send you a check for your birthday, but I have a male and a female cat, and one of them got hold of it and ate it, and as far as I can figure out... Inside Verse: ...your check's in the male!
Cover Verse: Jaime, birthdays are a time to ask yourself the Big Questions in life... Inside Verse: ...like, "How many pieces of cake can I eat and still fit into my underpants tomorrow?" Happy Birthday!
Cover Verse: Before you cut your birthday cake, Micky, which party nose would you rather wear? (choose one) #1 ugly nose #3 funny nose #4 cute nose #2 hairy nose Inside Verse: Now that you've finished picking your nose, wash your hands and have a piece of cake!
Cover Verse: To My Work Buddy, Liz Let me treat you to lunch for your birthday! Inside Verse: So, what'll it be - candy bar, chips, pretzels... anything from the vending machine - just name it! Happy Birthday