Cover Verse: Jordan, here's something to do on your 13th Birthday -- Write yourself a letter about what you expect to be doing 10 years from now, and then put it somewhere where it won't be disturbed for the next decade... Inside Verse: Like, say, under the pile of clothes on your bedroom floor. Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: Georgias Personal Guide to Doctorspeak What Your Doctor Says: What Your Doctor Means: Id like to run a few more tests. (I want the sunroof option for my new sports car.) Please make a follow-up appointment. (Id also like the CD player with the five-disc changer.) Bend over. Bend over. (Hey, some things are bad enough without some deeper meaning.) The nurse will take over from here. (Im late for my tee-off time.) Youll feel some slight discomfort. (This is gonna hurt like hell.) Hmmm thats interesting (What the heck is THAT?) This is a highly treatable disease. (How much insurance do you have?) Inside Verse: What This Card Says: Hope youre better soon, Jerry! What This Card Means: Hope youre better soon, Jerry!
Cover Verse: Jack, I was going to send you a check for your birthday, but I have a male and a female cat, and one of them got hold of it and ate it, and as far as I can figure out... Inside Verse: ...your check's in the male!
Cover Verse: How Dogs Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. Wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny- looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Inside Verse: Brian, hope your birthday is just as much fun! (Except for the poopy thing.)
Cover Verse: If Teenagers Ruled the World Every home would have three phone lines. Parents would never weird out in front of their kid's friends. Every driver's license would include a free sports car. Bedrooms would be self-cleaning. Curfews would be illegal. Inside Verse: Hope all your dreams come true, Andy. Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: Billy, Happy Birthday from the Dog I just love to send cards! Inside Verse: Well, actually, I just like to lick envelopes... and stamps... ...myself... ...the floor... Anyway, Happy Birthday from: