Cover Verse: Top Ten Signs You're Getting Older, Roberta: 10.You don't even TRY to be cool anymore. 9.Auto insurance is so darn cheap now! 8.You recently uttered the words, "Hey, you kids! Turn down that music!" 7.People are starting to ask you how things were "in your day." 6.Cake and ice cream give you indigestion. 5.You remember when gasoline cost a dollar a gallon. 4.WHAT? What'd you say? HUH? 3.Your face has finally cleared up. 2.You tell stories about WALKING to school. AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE GETTING OLDER... Inside Verse: You've got more friends now than ever before! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Cover Verse: To Mom and Pop -- a lively, young couple who felt that together they could take on anything! Inside Verse: That is, until I was born and put you right back in your place. Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad
Cover Verse: How Dogs Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at 5:30 a.m. Wet-nose the master. 2. Go out and pee on the world. 3. Make poopy. 4. Sniff poopy. 5. Seriously think about eating poopy. 6. Eat funny- looking bug instead. 7. Throw up bug parts on living room rug. 8. Drink out of magic well. 9. Sleep for 17 hours. Start all over again. Inside Verse: Brian, hope your birthday is just as much fun! (Except for the poopy thing.)
Cover Verse: Frank, I dreamed of winning a lottery, but the money never appeared... I dreamed of sailing around the world, but never persevered... I dreamed of inheriting millions, but no millionaire came through... Inside Verse: I dreamed I'd marry a wonderful guy... And guess what? My dreams came true! Happy Birthday, Frank!
Cover Verse: How Cats Celebrate Birthdays 1. Rise at first light. Sit on owners face until they wake up. 2. Loudly demand breakfast be served. 3. Shun two kinds of cat food. 4. Visit magic box. Find conditions unacceptable. 5. Enjoy private time behind sofa. 6. Practice 'ol yoga stretches. 7. Hork hair ball in secret hiding place. 8. Stare at wall. Pretend to see something owner cannot. 9. Sleep for 18 hours. Start all over again. Inside Verse: Justine, hope your birthday is just as much fun!
Cover Verse: I'm thankful for many things, Dorothy. The way you feed me. The way you pet me. The way you clean my litter box. But most of all, I'm thankful for... Inside Verse: ...the way I have you trained. Happy Thanksgiving, from Whiskers
Cover Verse: I want to wish you a Happy Birthday, Terry! And believe me... Inside Verse: that's no bull! Nope. It's just a cow. Bulls have a...well, you know...a thing between...Oh heck...trust me -- it's no bull.
Cover Verse: This is a Greeting Card (gret'ing kard) Directions for Use: 1. Read cover. 2. Place right thumb between pages. 3. Open with left hand. Inside Verse: Directions for Use (cont.): 4. Think about the nice person who sent you this. (See signature.) 5. Smile. 6. Have a nice day, Keith!
Cover Verse: Chris, I was just standing here thinking of you, and wondering if you were thinking of me, and if so, were you thinking of me thinking of you... Inside Verse: ...and I got so mixed up, I forgot why I'm sending you this card!
Cover Verse: Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Inside Verse: Teach a man to fish, and he'll spend thousands of dollars on fishing gear and tackle, spend countless hours waiting to catch a few pathetic fish, and bore everybody he knows with tiresome stories about the one that got away. Happy Birthday to a "reel" man.
Cover Verse: Adrian, you've still got bladder control and most of your original teeth! Inside Verse: The older you get, the harder it becomes for me to think of something positive to tell you. Anyway, Happy Birthday
Cover Verse: If Teenagers Ruled the World Every home would have three phone lines. Parents would never weird out in front of their kid's friends. Every driver's license would include a free sports car. Bedrooms would be self-cleaning. Curfews would be illegal. Inside Verse: Hope all your dreams come true, Andy. Happy Birthday