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Being There Through Infertility: Friend-to-Friend

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Today’s post from our “Being There Through Infertility” series, focuses the importance of friendship during infertility. Today’s post was put together by myself, Danielle, an American Greetings associate, and features one of the greatest friendships I have in my life, with my friend, Noha, who is also an American Greetings associate.

The journey to motherhood is what brought Noha and I together almost five years ago when we were pregnant with our daughters together. That journey – one of first-time motherhood definitely bonded us and solidified the power of our friendship. After my daughter was born, I experienced multiple perinatal mood disorders, including, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and postpartum obsessive compulsive disorder. I never felt so alone, but because Noha and I were on maternity leave together, I ended up leaning on her, and she became one of my biggest support systems. Over the next four years, we only became closer, and I am so proud to call her one of my best friends.

The past year has been one of stress, pain, and anxiety for both of us, but being able to lean on each other, and especially being able to repay a fraction of the support she gave to me during my darkest days, has allowed me to see how important showing up for people in our lives truly is.

being there for your friend through infertility

Here is Noha’s story in her own words…

Tell us a little bit about your infertility journey.

After my husband and I had our daughter (without any issues), we decided that we were going to try again after she turned one. We officially started trying in November of 2013, a month after her birthday. After a good year passed with no luck, we decided to talk to the doctor. I found out that several cysts had developed, and after some time I ended up meeting with an infertility specialist and decided to have surgery to remove one of the cysts that would not go away.

After much preparation, I was ready for the day of the laparoscopy. I just wanted to remove the cyst and move forward with trying to have a second child. I remember waking up from my surgery and asking, “Did they get it?” The look on the nurse’s face was very telling. She said “Well… actually, we didn’t remove anything.” “We couldn’t even get to the cyst because you have Endometriosis.” I ended up being diagnosed with stage four endometriosis – an advanced stage that was most likely causing my infertility issues.

After much deliberation with specialists, we were told if we wanted to go in and try to remove some of the endometriosis, we’d have a 25% chance success rate. If we did IVF, it was a 40% chance, so we went the IVF route.

Our first try was in November of 2016. I didn’t know what to expect, but I had a very positive mindset going into it knowing that I already had a child before and I’m under the age of 35. The doctors seemed very optimistic as well. However, that IVF failed and I was devastated and confused, but we decided not to wait too long before our next try.

We tried again with our second IVF procedure this past March, and this time around I got pregnant. However, I miscarried a week after getting the blood test. Although it was horrible news and I was devastated, I was, in a way, still pleasantly surprised that I even got pregnant.

We now have two embryos left, and after going through the first two tries, we decided to take a break during the summer so I can have a bit of a rest. Our last try will probably be towards the end of this summer or beginning of fall. This time we will put in the two embryos together, hoping for a better chance of a successful pregnancy.

How did you decide on being so open with your story?

I’m not a very private person to start with, so it’s not out of character for me to share my journey. Also, through the years of trying, I’ve met people that are either going through the same thing, went through it at some point, or just had their own issues with other things. To me, issues are issues. Mine is infertility. But anyone sharing any personal issue with me, is knowledge and awareness that I gain. So when I get asked the very common questions, “Is she the only one?” “You don’t want anymore?” I just explain very briefly that I’ve been trying for years. If they ask more questions, I share even more. I don’t feel ashamed for my infertility issue because that’s completely out of my control and there’s nothing taboo about it, in my eyes.

What was the most helpful thing someone said or did for your during this journey?

My parents have been extremely helpful during this process. During my first IVF try, it was peak time for my husband’s business. If he couldn’t make it, my parents stepped in and helped me by watching my daughter or even going to the appointments with me. They were there for me in every way possible.

My husband, although extremely busy with work, has been able to give me my routine progesterone shots every morning before leaving for work, and without him, I would NOT have been able to do this alone.

My friends were always there. I have a great group of friends that are there for me during the most important times. I’m so unbelievably lucky to have such an amazing group of friends at work, especially. This includes my manager and co-workers, who are extremely understanding when I have to take days off for appointments or when I find out results. These group of friends have literally cried with me, and I can’t feel any more gratitude when it comes to them.

What gets you through the hardest days?
I’m EXTREMELY lucky to be able to answer that question by saying that my daughter is 100% the reason why I’m okay. Many women with infertility issues, don’t have the privilege of saying “my child gets me through this.” I know that what I’m going through is nothing compared to what someone who wants to be a mom to at least one child is going through. I don’t take it for granted, and I know how lucky I am. When things do get tough with this process, I tend to gravitate towards my daughter the most and spend a little extra time with her, because I know how lucky I am to be a mom in the first place.
being there for a friend through infertility struggle Watching our girls grow up together has been an amazing experience that has gotten both of us through some of the toughest times.

In what ways was Danielle able to show up for you differently than others?

Oh Danielle! I tell her this all the time, but she is absolutely one of the most thoughtful friends I’ve ever had. She listens to me and talks to me in ways that no one else does. She’s very empathetic and extremely supportive. She has never turned down a conversation when I needed her. She also isn’t just there when I need to talk, but is so attentively listening to every word I say and she just knows the right things to say to make me feel loved and cared for. I’ve never had a friend so understanding. She knows the right things to do and say to make me feel that she’s here for me during this process no matter what!

Danielle and Noha smiling in a picture

Knowing that Danielle credits you for being someone who showed up the most for her during her postpartum depression struggle, what has it meant that she is now able to show up for you during your infertility journey?

Danielle and I have been through a lot together. We became friends while we were both pregnant with our daughters in 2012, and have only gotten closer through the years. From her postpartum depression, to her dad’s passing, to my infertility, to our anxiety issues related to those situations, we’ve always been there for each other. I just can’t imagine it any other way. And for Danielle to be going through some of the toughest situations in her life, she somehow managed to make it about me when it came to my IVF process. It’s like she leaves all her worries and issues behind when she knows I need someone. And that takes a very special person to be able to do that. I’ve been beyond lucky to have her in my life and I hope to be as thoughtful and caring to her as she always has been to me.

“I Wish You Knew” (Free Printable)

July 13 By American Greetings

i wish you knew free printable being held

We have been overwhelmed with the amount of stories being shared since the launch of our infertility series. The bravery and strength it takes to share these stories has not gone unnoticed, and we would like to thank everyone for having the courage to share.

Through many of these stories, we have heard what women, men, and couples wished people knew about infertility and the everyday challenges that come with the journey. We invite you to share those thoughts and wishes through this (free) printable fill-in-the-blank. Simply print out the sheet, fill in the statement, and share on any social platform to help people understand your unique perspective.

American Greetings resolve to reconnect printable

Click here to print

Being There Through Infertility: The Impact on Couples

July 13 By American Greetings

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Today’s post from our “Being There Through Infertility” series is focused on the journey that couples go through. Matt and Kristin discuss their story, including how they continue to show up for each other during the many ups and downs of infertility.

matt & kristin transfer

Tell us a little bit about your infertility journey

We were married on June 7, 2014 and after about eight months we decided to try for a family. Because of our age it was recommended by my doctor that we try to conceive naturally for about six months before running tests and possibly seeing a fertility specialist. After six months of trying we decided it was time to go back to the doctor. After running some basic tests she found “nothing to be wrong” and referred us to a specialist.

After more tests I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and we were told that we would most likely need help trying to conceive. After many months of appointments, medications and procedures we decided to give IVF a shot. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. Some of the thoughts that consumed us during those few short weeks… “We/I can do this.” “We/I can’t do this.” “What side effects will I have?” “Will I get ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome?” “Will the injections hurt?” “Will I get a blood clot?” “Is it ok to take baby aspirin since it’s an NSAID and I have Crohn’s Disease?”

Once all of our medications came I was extremely nervous mostly about the side effects. Matt read about all of them so he knew what to watch for. This helped with my anxiety. On February 15^th we started the injections. Two each day that Matt administered in my stomach. At first the injections weren’t too bad but I soon learned that some of the medicine burned and my stomach became bruised, bloated, and tender. After five days we added a third injection. We ended up injecting for a total of 12 days before my egg retrieval in which ten mature eggs were retrieved. Recovery from the egg retrieval took about a week and when we got the final call we were told that six of our eggs made it to day five embryos or blastocysts. We were so happy and feeling very blessed.

Our first attempt at a frozen embryo transfer (FET) was cancelled after a month of more injections, birth control, antibiotics and steroids, and estrogen patches due to fluid in my uterus. We were extremely disappointed but trusted God and our doctors. We did not want to risk losing any of our embryos. A month later, on June 3^rd we had our first FET. Our two highest quality embryos were transferred and we found out a week later that it was successful. We were pregnant and due February 19, 2017!

matt and kristin

In what ways have you shown up for each other during your journey?

We were both supportive of each other and the decisions we made during our journey. Matt administered my injections so that it was something I did not have to think or worry about. Constantly reminding each other that we were doing the right thing and that, God willing, we would have our miracle baby in the end. Positive and humorous text messages, special dinners and date nights, relaxing together, and flowers throughout the long days of fertility treatments

Did you ever find yourselves in a position where one of you was having a positive day, while the other was experiencing the complete opposite? How did you handle that?

Every time we got a negative result on a pregnancy test Matt was there to provide me with positive thoughts and reassurances that things will work out as they are meant to and that timing is everything. Since I was the one going through the injections and dealing with side effects from medications, it was difficult to stay positive but having him by my side made our journey bearable. When our first FET was cancelled I was very depressed, especially after taking a month’s worth of injections and drugs that really affected my body, and Matt was there to lift me up and help me focus on the positives. He was my rock through all of this.

How has your journey impacted other relationships in your lives?

Our journey has given us a whole new perspective on what is important in life and to not take things or relationships for granted. We have had immense support from family and close friends and couldn’t have done this without them.

What was the most helpful thing someone said or did for you during this journey?

The constant reassurance and prayers from our family and friends that everything would work out the way it was meant to. We would get little notes, cards, flowers, texts, emails, and phone calls from family and friends who were sharing this journey with us and it truly helped lift us up.

What was the least helpful, or even most hurtful?

The sometimes negative stigma attached to IVF. Having some friends react differently than you were hoping.

How did you decide on being so open with your story?

We felt that our story could help others who are going through something similar with infertility and give them hope that miracles can and do happen. I wrote a blog documenting our journey that helped me get through the difficult days and to share with others as well.

Being There Through Infertility: A Discussion with Elizabeth Grill, Psy. D

July 10 By American Greetings

being there through infertility with beach sunset background

It’s often said that it’s tough to be a parent, but what doesn’t get talked about as much is just how tough it can be to become one. According to RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, Infertility affects one in eight couples—that’s more than seven million people in the United States.

As a company that honors and celebrates real life, we wanted to shine light on this issue to let hopeful parents know they are not alone—and help you, our dear readers, to have a better idea on what to do or say to support loved ones. By addressing this experience that touches so many (but is often not talked about) we hope to inspire more acts of compassion and kindness in support of those struggling with this heartbreaking disease.

To raise awareness of the importance of offering support to those experiencing infertility, we wanted to share with you our Being There Through Infertility series, to provide an inside look on the topic of infertility, as told by the people who have lived it.

In our first installment today, we’re featuring a conversation with Elizabeth Grill, Psy. D, and member of the Board of Directors for RESOLVE.

Dr. Elizabeth Grill

How did you first become involved with RESOLVE?

I first learned about RESOLVE when I was a fellow at The Center for Reproductive Medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College. I was looking for ways to help and support patients on their family building journeys beyond the Center at Cornell. I was fortunate to be invited to a RESOLVE support group leader’s meeting and quickly joined forces with other mental health professionals in New York volunteering for RESOLVE. I began running support groups for RESOLVE 17 years ago and have remained involved with this amazing organization ever since.

How important is a support system to women and couples going through infertility?

When diagnosed with infertility, many individuals and couples may no longer feel in control of their bodies or their life plan. Women, men, and couples face loss of perceived control especially over the plans they made and fantasized about throughout their lives related to how and when they would conceive. They may experience loss of status and security. There can be loss of self-esteem, sexuality, femininity/masculinity, relationships, and potential loss of genetic continuity.

Feelings of isolation and social separateness begin to develop when the individual/couple realizes that others seem to conceive and bear children effortlessly. They at once feel different and alone. This sense of isolation may develop when the individual/couple is continuously questioned or teased about their childlessness. The need to insulate oneself from the emotional pain brought on by others’ curiosity or by social celebrations such as baby showers, christenings, and family events is acute. To avoid this pain, many infertile individuals and couples tend to withdraw, to isolate themselves from family and friends with children or avoid activities that include children. The resulting feeling of isolation can significantly affect self-esteem. The infertile individual or couple thus feels different, impaired, and prohibited from being part of a larger, childbearing society.

For all the reasons stated above, infertility is often the first life crisis that drives individual/couples to seek counseling with a mental health professional who is familiar with the emotional experience of infertility. Individual, couple’s, and/or group therapy help people to cope with the emotional roller coaster. Mental health professionals can offer support, teach coping strategies, and help with important decision making. Support groups offer a place for individuals and couples to share practical advice and helpful tips as well as meet and talk with others undergoing similar experiences.

What is the most important piece of advice you would give to someone who wants to show up and support someone going through infertility, but maybe doesn’t know where to start?

The first thing I would say is congratulations for understanding the need to offer a loved one, colleague, or friend support during this difficult life crisis. The mere recognition that someone you know needs support is certainly the first step in the right direction. Sometimes, all it takes is just showing up and telling the person that you care and that you are there to listen and/or lend support. Don’t try to solve the problem or give unsolicited advice. Instead, ask how you can help provide support, LISTEN to what the person’s needs are, and be prepared for those needs to change on a daily-even hourly basis. In some cases, friends and family members need to be educated not only about infertility and its treatments but also about the ways in which they can provide support. Go to the Family and Friends section of Resolve.org and educate yourself about infertility and how to support those you care about.

How do you avoid saying the wrong thing, and what are some examples of things that you shouldn’t say to friends going through this?Involuntary childlessness is an inter-generational crisis that can strain or damage family relationships by impairing communications and interactions. When infertility interrupts the normal family life cycle, it is not uncommon that a family’s unique flaws can sometimes precipitate negative behaviors such as parental favoritism, poor communication, and/or unhealthy coping strategies. As a result, family (and friends) can sometimes be the infertile person’s greatest challenge. They say insensitive things (“I think you’re just too stressed and need a vacation.”) or pry into the couple’s personal lives (“Any big news this month?”). Many family members and friends, in fact, truly struggle with how to support the individual and couple’s experiencing infertility. Support and interest is usually very much appreciated by the infertile couple; however, advice is not. To be helpful, some family members will talk of “miraculous pregnancies” that they have heard about, cut out articles, or suggest treatments or physicians. This type of behavior is usually unwelcome and often insulting to individuals who have often spent months/years of research finding the right doctors and treatments and these comments suggest that the couple is incapable of making their own adult decisions.

What are good alternatives and examples of the right things to say?

Some suggestions for family and friends include:

Acknowledging infertility as a medical and emotional crisis with a wide variety of losses, disappointments and costs
Being sensitive to the pain, stress, and emotional pressure of childlessness or the inability to expand one’s family as desired
Asking the couple how they would like to be supported
Emphasizing the importance and value of the couple as family members and friends
Keeping lines of communication open and stressing the importance of honesty, candor, tact, and diplomacy in interactions
Respecting the boundaries that the infertile couple sets regarding their infertility and understanding that they may not wish to discuss the ups and downs of this journey.

What do you find most rewarding about the work you do with RESOLVE?

I’m proud to be serving as a RESOLVE Board Member committed to providing support and knowledge to people on their family building journeys. I have had the privilege of working on the front lines to support men, women and couples by leading groups and participating in RESOLVE Walks of Hope. Now, as a RESOLVE Board member, I also can work behind the scenes on RESOLVE’s mission to promote advocacy for coverage as well as access to care, support, community and education.

Welcome, July! (Desktop/Mobile Background)

June 29 By American Greetings

July Background

Welcome, July! There is still plenty of summer to go around. Long days and warm nights allow us plenty of time to spend with those we love, making meaningful memories that will last a lifetime.

July is also a month full of reasons to celebrate. In addition to being National Picnic and Ice Cream month, there are several family-focused holidays to recognize, including, Parents Day (July 23rd), Cousins Day ( July 24th), and Aunt & Uncle Day ( July 26). It’s a great time to take a moment and celebrate these important relationships. Find time to spend with these family members if your close by, and if you’re not, hop on the phone or send them a card to let them know you’re thinking about them.

We’d like to give you a little something for the month, so please enjoy this beautiful desktop and mobile background that showcases the beauty of summer and reinforces the thought that summer is truly a state of mind. Enjoy, and Happy July!

July Background

2560×1440 / 1680×1050 / 1440×900 / 1280×800 / Mobile Background

Click here for directions on how to change your backgrounds.

Happy Memorial Day!

May 24 By American Greetings

Memorial Day - A day to remember America's bravest sons and and daughters

While each of us celebrates this three-day weekend in our own favorite way—whether it’s with a backyard barbeque, a family camping trip, or taking time to plant your flowers—we all know there’s a much greater purpose for Memorial Day than simply kicking off the summer season. Today is the day for us as a nation to pause and remember the men and women of the military who lost their lives serving our country. Originally introduced in 1868 as “Decoration Day”, its purpose was to honor fallen Civil War soldiers by decorating their graves with flowers. Renamed Memorial Day after World War I, it was then expanded to pay respect to all Americans who died in military service. It’s believed the last Monday in May was chosen because that’s when flowers are in bloom all over the country. President Nixon finally made Memorial Day a federal holiday in 1971. Today, there are countless Memorial Day events nationwide that range from lively parades to traditional ceremonies, like laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Arlington National Cemetery. But even if you’re celebrating in your own backyard, you can still pay respect to our nation’s heroes in simple yet meaningful ways:

Observe the National Moment of Remembrance at 3:00 pm: “As we contemplate the comforts and blessings of our lives and the well-being of our nation, I ask you to pause just for a moment to remember those who gave their lives to protect the values that give meaning to our lives.” – President Bill Clinton, May 31, 1999
Decorate a Veteran’s Grave: During Memorial Day Weekend, several thousand bouquets are placed at the Nations War Memorials in Washington, D.C. You can sponsor a thank-you bouquet through the National Memorial Day Foundation.
Show Your Sympathy: Memorial Day can be a difficult time for those who have lost someone in the military. Whether you reach out by phone, email or an ecard, your thoughtfulness will be appreciated.

It’s important to remember that the brave men and women we’re commemorating today died not only for our freedom as a nation, but for each one of us personally to live a safe and fulfilling life. To those of you currently serving in the military, we honor you with the utmost respect and gratitude and wish you a happy and peaceful Memorial Day.

Last Minute Mother’s Day Gifts

May 9 By American Greetings

Last minute Mother's Day gift ideas

Everyone’s busy, we know that. Because sometimes life—and all its craziness—just gets in the way. But maybe after glancing at a calendar or overhearing someone mentioning it, you might suddenly realize that Mother’s Day will be here much quicker than you thought. Actually, it may even be just a day or two away, and—yikes!—you haven’t even gotten Mom a gift yet. What are your choices now?! A mother's love is forever First, don’t panic. Second, let’s give this some thought, shall we? You could rush out and try to find some chocolates…somewhere…if there are any left. Ok, strike that idea. Or, you could pick up a bouquet of flowers that no one else bought. But they’re probably looking a bit wilted by now. Ok, strike that idea, too. OR…you could go online and visit some pretty helpful search sites that offer an exciting selection of unusual- yet-totally-thoughtful gift ideas. Yep, we’d say this is the best idea by far. If you agree, we’d like to help you get started. To do that, we’ve rounded up several search sites we think you’ll really like. Take a look around and see what Mom would like best. Put it in your cart, press the “order now” button, then sit back and relax, knowing that Mom will be getting a really nice gift from you just in time for Mother’s Day. She may even think you spent months coming up with the idea—but hey, our lips our sealed! Life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with a mother

There probably isn’t much you can’t find for Mom on Amazon! And if you’re a Prime member, all the better since you get free 2-day shipping. Otherwise, if time really isn’t on your side, opt for 1-day shipping instead.
With some of the most unique gift ideas on the web, Etsy is a great source to consider this Mother’s Day. Just be sure to check under the “Shipping & Policies” tab to ensure timely delivery. Or click on “Ask a question” for a direct convo with the shop owner.
This fun monthly gift couldn’t be any easier. Just choose your club (from wines and cupcakes, to flowers and candles) , pick your options per your budget (number of shipments, frequency of deliveries), then let Mom’s smiles begin!
If you’re an AmericanGreetings.com member, send Mom a lovely Mother’s Day ecard to which you can also easily add a fantastic gift or gift card from a number of exciting retailers, including Bath & Body Works, Nordstrom, Sur La Table, Starbucks, and more. Plus, you can also gift Mom a 1- or 2-year membership to AmericanGreetings.com. This way she can stay in touch with friends and family all year long. And what greater gift is there than that?

How One Adoptive Mom Honors Mother’s Day

May 8 By American Greetings

A special Mother's Day ritual

As we get ready to honor and celebrate all the moms and mom-figures in our lives, one mother reveals why she buys two extra cards each Mother’s Day—and reminds us all that this day is also for every woman out there who no longer has their child to hold.

For mom-of-three, Jill Robbins, Mother’s Day comes with her own (once-secret), cathartic ritual that began in 2013, which was her first Mother’s Day as an adoptive mom. She buys two cards—one for each of the birth mothers of her two adopted boys.

She writes these mothers snippets of what their boys have done and accomplished and gives medical updates on their challenges. She thanks these mothers…she wishes them peace. Jill then seals the cards and tucks them into a shoebox on her closet shelf.

I wish they could receive these cards i write every Mother's Day. I wish they knew their babies were safe and loved. Cherished. Thriving. - Jill Robbins

“I don’t know what else to do with them. I don’t have any place to mail these cards, you see,” writes Jill. “Somewhere on the other side of the world, there are two women who would probably give anything to get them.”

The San Antonio, Texas mother of three and writer of Ripped Jeans and Bifocals, revealed her ritual in her Facebook post in late April. Jill has two young boys that were adopted from China—7-year-old Kyle and 6-year-old Zack. And every year since 2013, she’s been writing cards to their birth mothers.

In China, children are abandoned since there are laws that prohibit a mother from making an adoption plan, so Jill has no way to find them and nowhere to send her cards.

These mothers will never know of Jill’s undying gratitude for their sacrifice or how their sons are happy and thriving in a family that loves them fiercely.

“I write these cards for me, “explains Jill. “I hold them against my chest before putting them in a shoebox that sits on my closet shelf, and I squeeze my eyes shut, and I wish so hard that these women who gave me the gifts of my boys can know how much I cherish them.”

In her post, Jill shares, “These women wonder where their babies are. I know they do. Although I don’t know the circumstances that led to their decisions, I do wish them peace. I wish they could receive these cards I write every Mother’s Day. I wish they knew their babies were safe and loved. Cherished. Thriving.”

Had these women not made the choices they made, my life would not be the same. For me, it's about gratitude. - Jill Robbins

Though Kyle and Zack don’t yet ask her too many questions about their birth families, Jill is aware how very different her life would be if it weren’t for these brave women. “Had these women not made the choices they made, my life would not be the same. For me, it’s about gratitude.”

Though Jill focuses on adoption as a writer, speaker, and author, she shared with us that she never expected her story to receive the overwhelming response it did. Posting it randomly on Facebook, she never anticipated the enormous ripple effect it would have. The reason she decided to reveal her personal secret was with the hope that others out there hurting or searching might read her story and know how important they are.

Hug all those mamas. Hug them tight. No matter how you slice it, mamas do hard things. - Jill Robbins

Stating how complicated adoption is, whether you’re adopting or giving up your child for adoption, Jill offers up a heartfelt plea, “Hug all those mamas. Hug them tight. No matter how you slice it, mamas do hard things.”

In this season of celebrating mothers, we hope everyone will answer Jill’s call and honor moms everywhere with love, understanding, and gratitude.

Kathy Davis Celebrates Mother’s Day

May 5 By American Greetings

For more than 25 years, Kathy Davis has been the trusted voice of heartfelt connection. We can always count on her for the right words to offer comfort, share joy and celebrate life’s moments, big and small, which is why she continues to be a great friend and content partner. With Mother’s Day just around the corner, we are excited to share a recent conversation we had with Kathy, and her daughter, Katie, about the journey of motherhood, and the importance of recognizing and celebrating the moms in your life.

Kathy Davis

What is the best piece of advice you’ve received about being a mom, and who did it come from?

Kathy: One piece of advice that sticks in my mind came from our pediatrician at the time. She was an older woman, pretty matter of fact in her delivery, but so very experienced! After she performed her doctor duties on my toddler, she turned to me and said, “Now you will want to go for walks with him, but let HIM take the lead. He will want to stop and pick up a leaf or look at a worm. Your job is to let him take the time to really experience nature and the world around him. Don’t hurry him.” It truly was a lesson for me about mindfulness! So, the task was not about getting from one place to another, it was about enjoying every step along the way. Good advice no matter what you are doing! Katie: My best friend encouraged me to scale back on work when the baby came and to take the extra time and just BE there with my baby. You never get that time back and I never regretted it for a second.

What has your daughter taught you about motherhood now that she is a grown woman with a child of her own?

Kathy: Katie is a natural when it comes to motherhood! I can’t remember a time when she didn’t want to become a mom. I’m very proud of the way she nurtures little Sammy, and she enjoys him immensely. Katie trusts her instincts and I admire that. There is so much conflicting advice about child rearing, but trusting your instincts and knowing your child is the best compass, and Katie accomplishes that effortlessly. She is in her element!

What is it like watching your own mother as a grandparent?

Katie: It’s so fun! My mom LOVES LOVES my son and its obvious he loves her! I can’t wait to see what kind of relationship those two forge. I’m betting it will be pretty special. I was extremely close with my grandparents and the relationship I had with them is one of the most precious things in my life and my hope is he has the same with her.

What is the biggest struggle you have encountered on your own motherhood journey?

Kathy: Keeping my life in balance has always been my biggest challenge, especially as a mom (and, in particular during the years I was a single parent!) Being there for my two kids as much as possible while juggling a job and maintaining our home was a struggle. My daughter used to say, “I wish you were a stay-at-home mom,” and it would break my heart. Katie: I have found that once my son (Sammy, 7 months old) was born, I immediately shifted into mama bear mode. I prioritized his needs above everything else in the world, which I think is mostly instinctual and very necessary to care for a new baby especially in those early days and weeks. What I didn’t anticipate was how difficult it would be to pull myself out of that bubble and take care of myself. Regular things I didn’t think twice about doing before baby like yoga, spending time with friends and even cooking a healthy meal, seemed really impossible and totally unimportant in light of the new baby.

What did that struggle teach you and how did you find your way out?

Kathy: I have learned that keeping my life in balance is something that just can’t happen on a daily basis! Most days just get out of whack and are top heavy with one thing or another. But, the key for me is making sure that over the course of time I give attention to all of the top priorities in my life, and my family is so important to me. As a mom I have tried to really be there when I am with my kids, making sure they know how much they are loved. As an artist, business owner, wife, mom, and now, grandmother, keeping my life in balance in the big picture is something I continue to work on! Katie: Only recently have I realized how important those things are to who I am. As a mother you give everything to your child: your body, all of your positive energy, every waking moment and many not-so-awake moments, and honestly I was SO in love with my baby that I didn’t really care. It was only, at my husband’s insistence that, I finally went back to my old yoga class, something I hadn’t done since I was 17 weeks pregnant. It felt so great to workout, and to sweat and bring some of the focus back onto myself and find what my body and mind need to feel balanced and healthy. I didn’t even realize how much I had missed it until then. I came home energized and clear minded with the realization of how important that time is for my well-being. Being a mom has certainly changed me but I don’t want it to replace my identity entirely. It’s something I’m sure will be an ongoing struggle but I’m thankful to have an awareness about it now.

What do you wish you could tell other moms who are feeling unappreciated or insecure about being a mom?

Kathy: Before I had my children, I was worried that I wouldn’t know how to be a mom! We had a small family and I was not around babies very much, so even though I knew I wanted a family, I was very insecure in my abilities and wasn’t even sure that motherhood was for me. But after I had my son, I quickly learned that so much of being a good mom comes naturally! My advice to other moms would be to not worry too much about the little things! None of us are perfect, and we can’t expect our kids to be perfect either. Going with the flow makes everyone happier! Mostly, just LOVE. Katie: I absolutely LOVE this quote from Elle Rowley. I remind myself of it every time I feel frustrated or start to second guess myself. “I know very few mothers who don’t impress me for one reason or another. I reject the notion that there are good moms and bad moms. There are good and bad drivers, good and bad hair stylists, dentists, even friends, and just about everything else, but those polars don’t really work when it comes to mothers, at least not any of the mothers I know. Every mom I know is doing the best she can and that is inspiring.” _ Elle Rowley

Kathy Davis recently launched her Open Heart campaign, which celebrates how she’s always been inspired by how sharing what’s in our hearts with the ones we love, deepens our joy and connection. Open Heart celebrates those very moments by inviting people to take the time to open up and express how they feel to a woman who means the world to them. By sharing these video tributes of love and gratitude, the hope is that others will be inspired to create their own, just in time for Mother’s Day. To follow along as Kathy takes you on this heartfelt journey and to learn more about making your own video, click here — and enjoy this sweet glimpse of what makes the relationship between Kathy and her daughter Katie so very special.

To see more of Kathy and Katie in their own Open Heart videos, click here.

Printable Mother’s Day Notes

May 4 By American Greetings

Printable Mother's Day Notes

Let’s hear it for moms for these sweet printable Mother’s Day notes. It’s no question that moms tackle the #WorldsToughtestJob every day, but do they get the praise they deserve for it? Let’s face it. Not really. It’s easy to take all that they do for granted, especially when they often appear to handle it all so seamlessly. But most moms, no matter if they’re working moms or stay-at-home moms, are secretly struggling with doubt and worry, wondering if they’re doing any of it right. So let’s remind them that they are!

Print out the free “Mompliments” below and leave them anywhere a mom can find them—in her mailbox, on her desk at work, on her car windshield, on her front porch, or even the shelf of a grocery store or library where a very grateful mom will see it and feel the support of the universe on her side. Think of it as ‘random acts of kindness’ only this more ‘random acts of compliments.’We’ve even made it easy for you to write in your own, too! All moms just want to be validated and feel like they’re doing a good job, so let’s lift them up by sharing these Mompliments with your #MOMSQUAD, and celebrate them, and all moms, for how hard they try every single day. If you’re left a Mompliment, or leaving one for a mom, we’d love to see it! Share it on your social channels by using #MOMSQUAD.

Compilation of inspirational quotes about moms

Click here to print these notes

Quotes about moms

Click here to print these notes

Printable create your own quotes for mom

Click here to print these blank notes and fill them in with your own “mompliments.”

The Days That Are Hard

May 2 By American Greetings

The Days That Are Hard

For someone who has lost a child, parent, or other family member, the sense of loss and grief never really goes away–it lives just beneath the surface, bubbling up at unexpected moments. And then there are those moments throughout a year–their birthday, the anniversary of their passing, and even holidays typically associated with celebrating relationships like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day that can be painful.

As a friend, family member or co-worker of someone going through something like this, you may find yourself wanting to reach out and offer support during these times. We know these are sensitive topics to broach and you may have hesitations about not knowing exactly what to do or say, but we’re firm believers that it’s better to try to reach out than to ignore it or say nothing at all–so we’d like to offer these tips to help you along:

What does it mean to show up?

Showing up for someone who may be suffering doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be a phone call, a cup of coffee or a handwritten note. “A new friend of mine lost her only son years ago. I remember being struck when she shared with me how painful her first Mother’s Day was because she didn’t know if she was ‘still a mom’ after he passed. It broke my heart and I wanted to ease her pain. So I decided to show up for her even though I was terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing. But I went with my gut and sent her a card reassuring her that in fact she is and always will be her son’s mother and that I’m personally grateful for her friendship,” shares Christine Rich.

Sometimes not knowing what to say is the hardest part. We all may experience this during the difficult times our loved ones go through. If you just don’t know what to say but want to show you care, we’ve shared some thoughtful ideas that you can add to personalize a card for someone you care about here.

Understanding the grieving process

The five stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This is not a one-size-fits-all process, and it’s important to know that everyone will move through these stages at their own pace. Someone may want to be alone during one phase, but really need you during another. Mother’s/Father’s Day may be one of those times.

It’s not about you

Although it can be helpful to have stood where someone else is standing when it comes to hard situations, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own story and path. If they ask you how you dealt with certain situations, definitely let them know what helped make your journey easier, and lessons you may have taken away, but be mindful that you are letting them ask before you openly share.

Stand the test of time

The days and weeks surrounding a loss or receiving difficult news are the most sensitive. They also seem to be the time when people literally show up the most. Meals are cooked, cards arrive in the mail, voicemails are full from people checking in, etc. But as the weeks turn into months, and even years, this activity naturally scales down. This is probably the time when people need you the most. If you don’t normally see these people on a regular basis, set reminders to check-in, invite them out for an occasional cup of coffee, or stick a card in the mail if distance is a factor.

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Meet Melissa Radke!

May 2 By American Greetings

Getting to know Melissa Radke

Melissa Radke is a public speaker, writer, entertainer, and vlogger – but even more than that, she is a mom who gets it. We first came across Melissa when her “Red Ribbon Week” video went viral, and we were hooked. Her honest approach to motherhood, paired with her sincerity, compassion, and amazing sense of humor has attracted a dedicated social following and an enthusiastic fan base. We could go on and on about her, but we thought we’d let her introduce herself in her own words…

So I decided to be authentic. I decided to be what I was created to be and it's been the most fun and freeing thing I've ever done - Melissa Radke

Tell us a little bit about yourself:
Hi y’all! My name is Melissa Radke. I am a blogger, a vlogger, and one time in the 4th grade I was a clogger (but I really don’t like to talk about that too much.) I love to write and I do so quite a lot; usually about my family, my faith, my friends and my immense lack of parenting skills. #jesustakethewheel

When did you first discover that people had a connection to what you were posting in your videos and on your social channels?
The first video I ever had go “viral” was called Red Ribbon Week and at this point almost 30 million people have watched that video. Is it because it is the most hilarious thing ever? No. Is it because it is a normal, every day mom just trying to keep up? Yes. After that video I thought to myself, “Man, I didn’t even really try. I just made a video being myself. Maybe that’s the key. Maybe people are drawn to real people who look like them and have no groceries in the house like them and can’t do sit-ups like them.” So I decided to be authentic. I decided that be what I was created to be…and its been the most fun and freeing thing I’ve ever done.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve received about motherhood?
I pretty much think anything Dr. Phil says is the gospel and I adore him and I hope to meet him before I die, so that said I remember him one time saying, “You don’t join a babies world. A baby joins your world.” And I liked that. So I went with it. If we listened to George Strait while I cooked dinner then by cracky, we kept listening to George Strait. It we watched the TV too loud, we kept watching the TV too loud. It made our lives much more enjoyable and guess what? Baby adjusted juuuuuust fine.

Of course all of that is dust in the wind once that baby turns about five and has your number. Then it’s pretty much every man for himself. I pretty much quit watching Dr. Phil as a viewer and now am about three temper tantrums away from being a guest on his show. If he ever has a show entitled “Parents Who Have Burned Their How-To Parenting Books” look for me. I’ll wave at you!

What is the worst piece of advice you’ve received about motherhood?
“Quit listening to Dr. Phil, Melissa.” Just kidding! The worst advice? Hmmmmmm…to be honest, it probably came from a book I read. I won’t name the book, but every single solitary thing in it was so Scriptural. Does that sound horrible of me? Trust me, I go to my faith A LOT as a parent. But it was non-sensical. Almost as if we should apply overtly religious rhetoric to potty training or not allowing corn syrup. I wanted to scream! I just thought to myself, “I’m an adult. I own this house. I make these rules. I will call on my faith in regards to raising kids of character and integrity and giving back to the world, but when it comes to whether or not they can have a 2nd can of soda in the span of 10 minutes….I got that!” Then I threw the book across the room. And then I got busy using the head on my shoulders and the brain God gave me.

What do you wish you could tell other moms who are feeling unappreciated or insecure about being a mom?
Girl! Friend! What did Troy and the Wildcats sing in High School Musical? WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER! (You’re welcome for putting that song in your head.)

Truth is, I do not have one single friend – not one – who has ever said, “I feel pretty equipped for this. I kinda feel like I’m killin’ it!” Because no one feels that way. And just when you start to think that 10 isn’t so hard and you can handle their attitude, they turn 12 and then you start all over. And then, after their teen years come their young adult years – and that’s another new stage entirely. Once you become a mom you become a part of a club. And its the saddest, weirdest club ever. Its not one of those super cool, neon lights, thumping music, two-drink minimum clubs you used to go to. It’s a club of women in elastic waist pants who wear their hair continually in messy buns and only primer and chapstick. And they stand around saying things like, “How could they have made a C? I stayed up all night working on that Science project!” Or “They found all their teeth in my dresser!! So I lied and said the Tooth Fairy lived in my underwear drawer.” And yet, if someone came and offered up an exchange for that club versus the other one, we’d never switch. Never. It’s like the Peace Corp, being a mom, its “the toughest job you’ll ever love.”

What role have other mothers played in your motherhood journey?
You know, not everyone has the luxury of having a “Mom Squad” so I’m careful not to gloat about mine. Some women are busting their tails doing it all on their own because they are a single mom holding down two jobs and they don’t have a lot of time for dinners with other moms or Bible Study groups or Yoga classes. So as I sit and think about who has played a part in my motherhood journey I don’t think about Girls Nights Out…

I think about the teacher my daughter had in kindergarten who looked my terrified daughter in the eyes, calmed her nerves and pulled her first loose tooth.

I think about the Camp Counselor who loved on my child last summer and harnessed her competitiveness instead of trying to squelch it.

I think about the Little League coach who told my son he was a leader and he needed to act like one, so he did.

I think about the nurse at the Pediatrician’s office who tells my daughter how beautiful she is, and I get to see my child’s face light up becomes sometimes it means more coming from someone other than MOM.

The librarian at school who encouraged their reading.

The Sunday school teacher who checked on them when they were sick.

If we look closely enough, we might just find that there is a village all around us. And thanksbetoJesus, because we need one!

An important note from Melissa:
I would love your readers to follow me on social media, but if they do they need to be fully aware of these things:

I am a mom today because someone else made me one. We had a son who passed away on Christmas Day, 2005 so both of my children are the product of the most wonderful thing ever created: ADOPTION. I am a mom because two young women were brave and selfless and courageous enough to want more for their children and more for themselves. Adoption is not a secret in our home, we talk about it with great respect and sincere thanks.
My son is kind and sweet and laid-back and even keel. My daughter is feisty and dramatic and just like…her daddy.
One of those things in number 2 is a lie.
You will not always find the perfect mom. Heck, you will not always find the perfect adult. But you will find someone that probably tries hard like you, loves hard like you and mom’s hard like you; someone trying really really hard to be the World’s Okayest Mom…and I hate to brag, but I’m pretty much killin’ it.

Happy May! (Free Desktop/Mobile Backgrounds)

May 1 By American Greetings

May Desktop Background

Welcome, May! In addition to May Day, Cinco De Mayo, Mother’s Day, and Memorial Day, May is a month full of holidays you may not realize, including Brothers and Sisters Day – May 2; National Nurses Day – May 6; National Teacher’s Day – May 9; Military Spouses Day – May 12; and National Wine Day – May 25.

We wanted to offer this beautiful desktop and mobile background as our gift to you as we welcome in a new month, full of sunshine and new possibilities. Enjoy and Happy May!

Desktop Background

2560 x 1440 / 1680 x 1050 / 1440 x 900 / 1280 x 800 /

Mobile Background

Click here for directions on how to change your backgrounds.

How to Make Tissue Paper Flower Pens

April 6 By American Greetings

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Tissue paper flower pens are a fun, inexpensive and easy way to make someone a gift from the heart. For less than $1.00 per pen, you can create a festive keepsake that’s sure to make them smile—without breaking your wallet. And the best news is, you don’t have to be super crafty to make one!

Here’s what you’ll need:

Pens (straight ones without a clip work the best)
Tissue paper
Curling ribbon
Double-sided tape
Scissors

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Lay a single piece of tissue paper flat and smooth it out. Fold it in half four times, smoothing it out each time to avoid wrinkles.
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Take your scissors and free-hand cut a cloud shape, cutting through all layers of tissue paper at the same time. It doesn’t matter if it’s perfectly symmetrical or that it resembles a perfect flower-shape. (In fact, we found that the uneven cloud-shape gives you a fuller look.)

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Take your stack of petal-clouds and restack them on top of each other, flipping some of them over and rotating them around so that they’re in an uneven stack, not perfectly one-on-top of each other.

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Use the tip of your pen and press down on your stack of petals. Carefully pull the petals up 2-3 layers at a time onto the handle of the pen. AG_FB_LINK_Tissue_Paper_Flower_Pen

Once all of the tissue paper is pulled onto the pen, wrap the flat end of the pen in double-sided tape. Pull up a single piece of tissue paper and gently press it onto the tape from several sides. Gently squeeze the tissue paper to pull it all close together.

Now you pull all of your petals a few at a time towards the end of the pen. Gently pull your petals through your thumb and index finger to smooth them out and bring the flower together.

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Holding the flower between your thumb and index finger, wrap the very base of the flower in double-sided tape. Apply double-sided tape length-wise down both sides of the pen and wrap the base of it as well. Then starting at the base of the flower, wrap the pen in the green curling ribbon.

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Move slowly and overlap it so that the pen is completely wrapped in ribbon. When you reach the base of the pen, cut of the excess curling ribbon. If the ribbon feels loose at the tip, you can tuck another piece of double-sided tape under the tail end of the ribbon for extra security.

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And there you have it–an adorable tissue paper pen, perfect for celebrating any occasion! If you want to make a dozen, it will take about two packages of tissue paper and about a roll and a half of curling ribbon, keeping the total cost of this project under $1/pen.

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Still need some extra help? Watch our full video tutorial below:

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Easy, Adorable St. Patrick’s Day Crafts

March 14 By American Greetings

St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner! As we look to celebrate this bright, cheerful Spring holiday, we thought we’d round up some simple, adorable St. Patrick’s Day crafts that you can do with your children or grandchildren. To accomplish this task, we perused some wonderful blogs and discovered these great ideas, perfect for spreading a little luck o’ the Irish!

Easy DIY St. Patrick's Day Crafts