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Connecting with Grandparents

August 14 By American Greetings

Grandparents Day - Grandparents taking grandchildren for a walk in the park.

The relationship between grandparent and grandchild is precious in so many different ways. But how well do we really know them?

Today’s kids might find it hard to believe that their grandparents (and likely even you) grew up without common luxuries like smart phones, laptops, and GPS. This generational divide, coupled with distance and time, can make it a little harder for your kids to connect with your parents. But it can also serve as a great conversation-starter and relationship-builder.

As we celebrate Grandparents Day, we felt the timing was perfect to put together a list of ideas that will help your kids bridge the generational gap and make meaningful connections with their grandparents—and even you with your own grandparents.

Grandma and Grandpa 101

What better way to get to know Grandma and Grandpa than a one-on-one interview? Have your kids think of questions they’ve always wanted to know about their grandparents, and encourage them to ask about their lives as kids.

While one’s life history certainly can never fit into a single discussion, these questions may very well spark some ideas to get your grandparents talking about one special era of their life, whether it be childhood dreams, school experiences, or becoming parents and grandparents.

Ideas include:

• What did you want to be when you grew up?
• Did you have a nickname?
• Who was your childhood best friend?
• What kinds of games did you play growing up? Did you have a favorite toy?
• What is your favorite song?
• How did you two meet?

These simple questions can be not only a lot of fun, but informative and eye-opening as well.

You could even help your kiddos turn this activity into a mini project by documenting each question and answer and decorating a scrapbook full of photos and memories. (Hint: this would make a great gift for the grandparents!)

Visit the Old Stomping Grounds

Our hometowns are very much a part of who we are today. Although they grow and change, we can still find parts of ourselves in familiar places.

Have your parents give your kids a glimpse into what their childhood was like. If your mom and dad’s hometowns are relatively local, have them take your kids on a car ride to where they grew up. This could be a drive by their respective childhood homes, stopping for a bite to eat at their favorite restaurant, or seeing where they used to hang out.

Pen Pal Project

We may be biased, but we think handwriting cards and letters is still alive and well. Sure, texting is great, but cards and letters give us something tangible to hold on to and cherish for years. (And who doesn’t love getting snail mail from someone special?)

Have your child start writing letters to Grandma and Grandpa. Maybe each letter or card exchange follows a theme. For example, each of you has to describe your dream vacation—where it’d be, who you’d go with, and what you’d do.

Another fun variation of this idea is to create a bundle of Open When cards. Both grandparents and grandkids will look forward to opening cards with personalized messages throughout the year.

A Grandmother and Grandfather sharing the laptop computer to get in touch with family and connect.

Video Chat Dates

Schedules fill up and distance can keep us from seeing our loved ones as often as we’d like. Keep the lines of communication open by scheduling a weekly video chat date between your kid(s) and their grandparents. Just like the pen pal idea, these chats can have a different theme each week, or they can use it as a chance just to catch up.

Grandparents Day - A Grandparent with grandchildren enjoying time cooking together, laughing and sharing smiles.

Bon Appétit!

They say cooking feeds the soul, but you don’t need to be Julia Child to appreciate spending some quality time in the kitchen. Cooking with someone you love is a great way to make lasting memories, so grab an apron and whip up your favorite recipes with your grandma or grandpa.

Is there a recipe he or she loves most? A meal they especially enjoy making? Swap ideas or even experiment with different ingredients to come up with a new recipe that’s completely your own.

Keeping Their Memory Alive

If you or your children no longer have grandparents, consider doing something to honor their memory, whether it’s thumbing through an old photo album, recounting your favorite stories of them, or quietly remembering them in a spot they once loved.

No matter how your children nurture their relationship with their grandparents, it’s vital that they (and you) seize the opportunity while they can. Quality time, good communication, and love are what it’s all about!

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Hello, Summer! (Free Desktop/Mobile Backgrounds)

June 16 By American Greetings

 

Summer is here! And along with sunny days and warmer weather, the summer months also have a number of fun holidays to celebrate. Be sure to mark your calendars for:

Donut Day – June 2; Best Friends Day – June 8; Flip Flop Day – June 16; Father’s Day – June 18; First Day of Summer – June 21; Take Your Dog to Work Day – June 23; Independence Day – July 4; National Ice Cream Day – July 16; Cousins Day – July 24; Girl Friends Day – August 1; and Sister’s Day and Friendship Day – August 6.

Another great way to kickoff summer is with this cute popsicle background for your desktop or mobile phone. Enjoy!

Summer background download

2560×1440 / 1680×1050 / 1440×900 / 1280×800 / Mobile Background 

Click here for directions on how to change your backgrounds.

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Filed Under: Downloadable Background, Downloadables, Uncategorized

Keepsakes from my kids

May 7 By American Greetings

Keepsakes From My Kids by Kathy Davis

It’s almost Mother’s Day again and that means that the lucky moms among us are likely to receive delightful greeting cards, sentimental gifts, maybe even some handmade tokens of love. And if you’re like me, you’ll have a hard time ever parting with these precious keepsakes.

I used to save EVERYTHING — my own dear mother dubbed me a “pack rat” — especially when it came from my kids! And now that my Ben and Katie are all grown up, these saved memories are especially poignant.

It’s hard to think of anything that means more to us than receiving cards from our children. The beautiful artwork and sentiments touch our hearts, making us feel loved and appreciated.

A heart cut out of paper and finger painted by a child makes a great keepsake for mom.

If you’re as sentimental as I am, you might enjoy re-reading these heartfelt messages more than once through the years. Keeping greeting cards tucked away in a safe place allows us revisit those warm feelings whenever we need to, especially when we’re having a bad day.

Words really do mean everything. They get to the truth of how we feel about the people we love. (If you need help with what to write in a Mother’s Day card for your own mother, you can find some helpful suggestions here.)

In addition to greeting cards, I also saved report cards, photos from every grade in school, art masterpieces, scrapbooks from family vacations, even old Christmas lists the kids made for Santa. And then there are the handmade gift items — crafts made in school, macaroni necklaces, clay pots and trinket boxes.  All of these are such sweet reminders of those days that passed all too fast.

A vintage picture of Kathy Davis with her children when they were young.

One of my personal favorite mementos is a sticky note I found on my desk many years ago. As a single mom, I had just started my own design business working from a drawing table in the corner of my bedroom. My kids watched me put in long hours juggling family and the demands of my new enterprise. So my daughter, Katie, surprised me with the most thoughtful message!

A keepsake for mom - a handmade card from her child

Katie’s note was a touching reminder for me. A reminder to enjoy each and every day… and not take things too seriously. I taped that note to the front of my planner where it remained for many years.

I still need this same reminder today. I think we all do.

Now that my daughter is a mom herself, she is passing on her thoughtfulness to her 20-month-old son, Sam.  So far, I have received a Christmas reindeer made from Sam’s footprint and a finger-painted Valentine heart. Can’t wait to see what kind of treat Mother’s Day brings! Now that I am a grandmother, I get to start saving treasures from the next generation, too.

Kids keepsakes for mom - footprint reindeer from child

Moms, I hope you treasure each keepsake from your kids and every happy memory from the years that fly by too fast!

And as my daughter Katie would remind you, “Relax and enjoy today.”

Happy Mother’s Day!

All My Best,

Kathy

A family photo of Kathy Davis and her family.

For 28 years, Kathy Davis has been the trusted voice of heartfelt connection. We can always count on her for the right words to offer comfort, share joy and celebrate life’s moments, big and small, which is why she continues to be a great friend and content partner.

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Free Thanksgiving Printables to Dress Up Your Table

October 20 By American Greetings

thanksgiving place setting with plate and silverware

With Thanksgiving around the corner, we’ve been thinking about all the ways we celebrate with our family and friends, and how we’re thankful for this special time together. We know some families have anywhere from 5 to 40 people for Thanksgiving dinner, so you can imagine the seating arrangements can get pretty crazy, pretty quickly.

With that in mind, we created a printable, Thanksgiving place-setting collection – including a place card, thankful card, and menu.

Gone are the questions like, “What are we having?” or “Where am I sitting?” Now you’ve got one less thing to think about on the big day. We’ve even created a Word document that’s all set up and ready for you to enter your dinner menu. All you need to do is print, cut and place at each setting… BAM! Done. 🙂

thanksgiving menu on top of dinner platefeathers in a jar stating what you're thankful for

Download your free Thanksgiving printables here: menu, place cards, thankful card. And if you want a little more, we’ve also created a napkin ring and a feather template for some added decoration!

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving notecard on a dinner plate with small branch

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Being There Through Infertility: The Impact on Couples

July 13 By American Greetings

AG_FB_LINK_title-blog-Infertility-2-Couples

Today’s post from our “Being There Through Infertility” series is focused on the journey that couples go through. Matt and Kristin discuss their story, including how they continue to show up for each other during the many ups and downs of infertility.

matt & kristin transfer

Tell us a little bit about your infertility journey

We were married on June 7, 2014 and after about eight months we decided to try for a family. Because of our age it was recommended by my doctor that we try to conceive naturally for about six months before running tests and possibly seeing a fertility specialist. After six months of trying we decided it was time to go back to the doctor. After running some basic tests she found “nothing to be wrong” and referred us to a specialist.

After more tests I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and we were told that we would most likely need help trying to conceive. After many months of appointments, medications and procedures we decided to give IVF a shot. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. Some of the thoughts that consumed us during those few short weeks… “We/I can do this.” “We/I can’t do this.” “What side effects will I have?” “Will I get ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome?” “Will the injections hurt?” “Will I get a blood clot?” “Is it ok to take baby aspirin since it’s an NSAID and I have Crohn’s Disease?”

Once all of our medications came I was extremely nervous mostly about the side effects. Matt read about all of them so he knew what to watch for. This helped with my anxiety. On February 15th we started the injections. Two each day that Matt administered in my stomach. At first the injections weren’t too bad but I soon learned that some of the medicine burned and my stomach became bruised, bloated, and tender. After five days we added a third injection. We ended up injecting for a total of 12 days before my egg retrieval in which ten mature eggs were retrieved. Recovery from the egg retrieval took about a week and when we got the final call we were told that six of our eggs made it to day five embryos or blastocysts. We were so happy and feeling very blessed.

Our first attempt at a frozen embryo transfer (FET) was cancelled after a month of more injections, birth control, antibiotics and steroids, and estrogen patches due to fluid in my uterus. We were extremely disappointed but trusted God and our doctors. We did not want to risk losing any of our embryos. A month later, on June 3rd we had our first FET. Our two highest quality embryos were transferred and we found out a week later that it was successful. We were pregnant and due February 19, 2017!

matt and kristin

In what ways have you shown up for each other during your journey?

We were both supportive of each other and the decisions we made during our journey. Matt administered my injections so that it was something I did not have to think or worry about. Constantly reminding each other that we were doing the right thing and that, God willing, we would have our miracle baby in the end. Positive and humorous text messages, special dinners and date nights, relaxing together, and flowers throughout the long days of fertility treatments

Did you ever find yourselves in a position where one of you was having a positive day, while the other was experiencing the complete opposite? How did you handle that?

Every time we got a negative result on a pregnancy test Matt was there to provide me with positive thoughts and reassurances that things will work out as they are meant to and that timing is everything. Since I was the one going through the injections and dealing with side effects from medications, it was difficult to stay positive but having him by my side made our journey bearable. When our first FET was cancelled I was very depressed, especially after taking a month’s worth of injections and drugs that really affected my body, and Matt was there to lift me up and help me focus on the positives. He was my rock through all of this.

How has your journey impacted other relationships in your lives?

Our journey has given us a whole new perspective on what is important in life and to not take things or relationships for granted. We have had immense support from family and close friends and couldn’t have done this without them.

What was the most helpful thing someone said or did for you during this journey?

The constant reassurance and prayers from our family and friends that everything would work out the way it was meant to. We would get little notes, cards, flowers, texts, emails, and phone calls from family and friends who were sharing this journey with us and it truly helped lift us up.

What was the least helpful, or even most hurtful?

The sometimes negative stigma attached to IVF. Having some friends react differently than you were hoping.

How did you decide on being so open with your story?

We felt that our story could help others who are going through something similar with infertility and give them hope that miracles can and do happen. I wrote a blog documenting our journey that helped me get through the difficult days and to share with others as well.

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Printable Mother’s Day Notes

May 4 By American Greetings

Printable Mother's Day Notes

Let’s hear it for moms for these sweet printable Mother’s Day notes. It’s no question that moms tackle the #WorldsToughtestJob every day, but do they get the praise they deserve for it? Let’s face it. Not really. It’s easy to take all that they do for granted, especially when they often appear to handle it all so seamlessly. But most moms, no matter if they’re working moms or stay-at-home moms, are secretly struggling with doubt and worry, wondering if they’re doing any of it right. So let’s remind them that they are!

Print out the free “Mompliments” below and leave them anywhere a mom can find them—in her mailbox, on her desk at work, on her car windshield, on her front porch, or even the shelf of a grocery store or library where a very grateful mom will see it and feel the support of the universe on her side. Think of it as ‘random acts of kindness’ only this more ‘random acts of compliments.’We’ve even made it easy for you to write in your own, too! All moms just want to be validated and feel like they’re doing a good job, so let’s lift them up by sharing these Mompliments with your #MOMSQUAD, and celebrate them, and all moms, for how hard they try every single day. If you’re left a Mompliment, or leaving one for a mom, we’d love to see it! Share it on your social channels by using #MOMSQUAD.

Compilation of inspirational quotes about moms

Click here to print these notes

Quotes about moms

Click here to print these notes

Printable create your own quotes for mom

Click here to print these blank notes and fill them in with your own “mompliments.”

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Filed Under: Holidays, Mother's Day, Printables, Quotes, Uncategorized Tagged With: Mother's Day Inspiration, Printable Mother's Day Notes

The Days That Are Hard

May 2 By American Greetings

The Days That Are Hard

For someone who has lost a child, parent, or other family member, the sense of loss and grief never really goes away–it lives just beneath the surface, bubbling up at unexpected moments. And then there are those moments throughout a year–their birthday, the anniversary of their passing, and even holidays typically associated with celebrating relationships like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day that can be painful.

As a friend, family member or co-worker of someone going through something like this, you may find yourself wanting to reach out and offer support during these times.  We know these are sensitive topics to broach and you may have hesitations about not knowing exactly what to do or say, but we’re firm believers that it’s better to try to reach out than to ignore it or say nothing at all–so we’d like to offer these tips to help you along:

What does it mean to show up?

Showing up for someone who may be suffering doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be a phone call, a cup of coffee or a handwritten note. “A new friend of mine lost her only son years ago. I remember being struck when she shared with me how painful her first Mother’s Day was because she didn’t know if she was ‘still a mom’ after he passed. It broke my heart and I wanted to ease her pain. So I decided to show up for her even though I was terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing. But I went with my gut and sent her a card reassuring her that in fact she is and always will be her son’s mother and that I’m personally grateful for her friendship,” shares Christine Rich.

Sometimes not knowing what to say is the hardest part. We all may experience this during the difficult times our loved ones go through. If you just don’t know what to say but want to show you care, we’ve shared some thoughtful ideas that you can add to personalize a card for someone you care about here.

Understanding the grieving process

The five stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This is not a one-size-fits-all process, and it’s important to know that everyone will move through these stages at their own pace. Someone may want to be alone during one phase, but really need you during another.  Mother’s/Father’s Day may be one of those times.

It’s not about you

Although it can be helpful to have stood where someone else is standing when it comes to hard situations, it’s important to remember that everyone has their own story and path. If they ask you how you dealt with certain situations, definitely let them know what helped make your journey easier, and lessons you may have taken away, but be mindful that you are letting them ask before you openly share.

Stand the test of time

The days and weeks surrounding a loss or receiving difficult news are the most sensitive. They also seem to be the time when people literally show up the most. Meals are cooked, cards arrive in the mail, voicemails are full from people checking in, etc. But as the weeks turn into months, and even years, this activity naturally scales down. This is probably the time when people need you the most. If you don’t normally see these people on a regular basis, set reminders to check-in, invite them out for an occasional cup of coffee, or stick a card in the mail if distance is a factor.

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Printable Inspirational Quotes

February 15 By American Greetings

Somedays, you just need a little encouragement. Whether its motivation to stick with your New Year’s resolutions, confidence to face the challenges ahead, or a few kind words to get you through the day. That’s why we pulled together 6 inspirational quotes and put them on a single printable sheet that you can cut out and leave for those around you.

We even came up with a few suggestions for how you can use these quotes to spread happiness, laughter and love.

Printable Inspiration Quotes


Someone who could use a smile:

Printable Quote Make someone smile - printable quote

Days are busy and sometimes we forget to show gratitude to those who mean the most to us. Pair the quote, “I’m thankful you’re in my life,” with a little piece of
chocolate to remind those important people you care about them.

Another idea is to leave the, “There are certain people who, without knowing it, make this world a little brighter and a little nicer… did you know you’re one of them,” quote on your significant others windshield or your coworkers computer screen. Your thoughtful gesture will be sure to put a smile on their face and start their day off on the right foot.

 

To help someone stay motivated:

Determination quote - Printable Motivational Quote - Print Out

New Year’s resolutions are all about change, but change can be difficult, as we get caught up in our own routines. If someone you know had a set back with their resolution or just need some words of encouragement, “Determination gives you the resolve to keep going in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you,” is a great quote for them.

You can also leave, “Good, better, best. Never let it rest. ‘Til your good is better and your better is best,” on the bathroom mirror or their desk to remind them you’re rooting for them! A little encouragement can go a long way on the road to change.

 

Someone who is having a bad day:

Eleanor Roosevelt - Printable Quote Helen Keller - Printable Quote

Reminding people you care about them can significantly improve their day and strengthen your relationship. If you know someone is having a less than perfect day, bring them a cup of coffee with the quote, “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow,” to turn their day around.

“With a new day comes new strength and new thoughts,” is also a great quote to help boost someone’s mood.

 

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Filed Under: Downloadables, Quotes, Uncategorized

Free Valentine’s Day Printable Quote

February 2 By American Greetings

AG_CB_VAL_Blog_Banner_love_quote

Valentine’s Day is coming up on Tuesday, February 14th and to celebrate, we created this free printable Valentine’s Day quote just for you! This free printable artwork is perfect to frame and give as a thoughtful Valentine’s Day gift or display in your home as holiday decor–and a lovely reminder of what’s really important in life!

Free Valentine's Day Printable Quote

Download and print this free Valentine’s Day quote PDF HERE to make a lovely gift they can display all year round!

Looking for other great ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day? Click here for date ideas, sweet treats, crafts and more!

Love this quote? Pin it today!
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Happy January! (Free Digital Download)

January 9 By American Greetings

The holidays are behind us and the novelty of our New Year’s resolutions is starting to fade.  Instead of getting back into our usual routines, we need to remember that the changing of the calendar from one year to the next should inspire us to take on new challenges and seek new beginnings.

To keep your New Year going in the right direction, we thought we’d create a wallpaper to remind you of all the new opportunities and experiences that await you in 2017. You can download this free, beautiful background on your desktop and mobile device, and even set it as your Facebook cover photo.

We hope this background inspires you every time you look at your phone or computer screen! Happy 2017!

January New Years Quote Background

 

2560 x 1440 / 1680 x 1050 / 1440 x 900 / 1280 x 800 /

Mobile Background / Facebook Cover Photo

Click here for directions on how to change your backgrounds.

 

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Filed Under: Downloadable Background, Downloadables, New Year's, Uncategorized

Decorate all of your Christmas gifts for under $5!

December 22 By American Greetings

AG_FB_Poinsettias_Tutorial_Title

Would you like to add a little extra flair to your wrapped present, but don’t have a lot of time or extra budget? If so, we have a solution for you! Adding a statement piece that’s truly unique to your gift doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive. Here at American Greetings, we came up with an easy poinsettia flower embellishment that anyone can create… no special tools or extra skill sets required! Using just a few simple items, you can decorate all of your gifts in no time!

Here’s what you’ll need:

  1. Wrapped present
  2. Crepe paper
  3. Curling ribbon
  4. Scissors
  5. Double-sided tapeAG_FB_LINK_Poinsettias_Tutorial_Items_NeededFirst, we’re going to take a shortcut by wrapping the curling ribbon around your gift (both side/side and up/down) and attaching it with double sided tape. This is an amazing trick because it keeps you from having to flip your package around and struggle to tie a tight knot. It also saves time and keeps your ribbon flat on both the front and the back of the package.AG_FB_LINK_Poinsettias_Tutorial_Curling_RibbonNext, you take your crepe paper and lay it out about the length of your hand.  Layer it back and forth 8 times. Don’t worry about making them perfectly even, because next you’re going to trim each end anyways.AG_FB_LINK_Poinsettias_Tutorial_Crepe_Paper_WrapCut off the excess on each side so that your crepe paper is about 5″ long.AG_FB_LINK_Poinsettias_Tutorial_TrimTo create the flower, take two pieces at a time and pinch the sides together at the middle. Grab two more pieces and do the same thing, adding them next to the first pieces. Continue this with the rest of crepe paper pieces.

    Use the curling ribbon to tie a knot around the crepe paper at the pinched middle and cut off any extra ribbon. Then, cut the ends of the crepe paper into a point to make the petals of the flower.

    AG_FB_LINK_Poinsettias_Tutorial_Petals_Number

    Next, add the poinsettia to your gift by using double sided tape. Taping the flower onto the package will hold it in place while you trim your petals into the perfect shape.

    AG_FB_LINK_Poinsettias_Tutorial_Attach

    Lastly, trim your petals into a “V” shape.AG_FB_LINK_Poinsettias_Tutorial_Cut_PetalsThere you have it – a pretty package that will have people thinking, “That’s so crafty!”

     

    AG_FB_LINK_Poinsettias_Tutorial_End_SceneFrom all of us at American Greetings, happy holidays and happy wrapping!

    Still need some extra help? Watch our full video tutorial below:

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Christmas Cards for Hailey!

December 9 By American Greetings

AG_FB_LINK_Christmas_Cards_For_Hailey

Christmas is just around the corner. And as some kids are asking Santa for the newest toy to leave under the tree, one little 9-year-old girl is asking for something else… Christmas cards! Hailey was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia in 2014 and is currently receiving chemotherapy treatments. This time of year can be especially hard for her, so Hailey and her mom are asking for Christmas cards to help lift her spirits.

Here at American Greetings, we love stories that spread happiness, laughter and love. So we’re hoping you’ll help us fulfill Hailey’s wish this year by joining us in sending her Christmas wishes from around the world and letting this little girl know she is very, very loved!

*****

EDIT 12/19/16 – Thank you to everyone who signed cards for Hailey. We heard from more than 34 states and 8 countries! The cards will be on the way to Hailey shortly, so that they arrive in time for Christmas!

*****

Thank you for helping us to make sure that Hailey knows that she is loved by people near and far!

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Happy November! (Free Digital Download)

November 1 By American Greetings

November is here, ushering in a beautiful season filled with crisp temperatures, family gatherings and gratitude galore! And with so many special occasions on the horizon for the holiday season, there’s much to celebrate.

November holidays bring us many opportunities to pause and to express feelings of gratitude and kindness, including World Freedom Day (11/9), Veterans Day (11/11), World Kindness Day (11/13), World Hello Day (11/21), Thanksgiving (11/24), and Giving Tuesday (11/29).

As the cooler temperatures and upcoming holiday season draws you closer to friends and family, we thought we’d create a seasonally-inspired wallpaper to remind you of this month’s focus on gratitude. You can download this free, beautiful background on your desktop and mobile devices, and even set it as your Facebook cover photo.

We hope it makes you smile each time you glance at your phone or computer screen! Happy November!

AG_NOV_Wallpaper_FB_LINK_post

2560 x 1440 / 1680 x 1050 / 1440 x 900 / 1280 x 800
Mobile Background/ Facebook Cover Photo
Click here for directions on how to change your backgrounds.

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Filed Under: Downloadable Background, Downloadables, Uncategorized Tagged With: desktop wallpaper, fall background, gratitude quote, mobile phone background, november gratitude quote

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

October 14 By American Greetings

AG_FB_10152016_Preg_Infant_Loss_Day

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month. This can be an incredibly difficult time for many families, but sometimes the most difficult conversations are the most important ones to be had. It can also be hard to find the right words to say to someone in these circumstances, but offering support, an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on can make all the difference. We’ve invited local mom, and writer, Leslie Froelich, to share her experience with us, including a bit of advice when it comes to knowing what to say, and what not to say during these sensitive times.

For my family, it is painfully ironic that October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month.

On October 4th, 2012, we lost our baby girl, Hannah, to complications related to Heterotaxy Syndrome and a severe congenital heart defect. We had three beautiful, but agonizingly difficult, weeks with her before she was taken away from us. Her twin sister, Elizabeth, survived and is healthy and thriving, and we eventually went on to have another daughter, Maggie, who is now two years old.

I would give anything and everything to not be a part of the grieving parent’s club. To have all three of my children with me, laughing and playing together. Literally not a day goes by that I don’t think of Hannah and everything that happened, and it crushes my soul.
We experienced a particularly difficult pregnancy, as Elizabeth and Hannah were diagnosed originally as conjoined twins, and I was told to prepare for miscarriage. While this ended up not being the case, my girls were, unfortunately, an extremely rare and high risk set of twins referred to as Monochorionic-Monoamniotic or ‘Mono-Mono,’ meaning they shared one sac and one placenta. The risk of cord entanglement and death was a possibility at all times. I could never adequately put into words the suffocating anxiety and fear that my husband and I endured throughout my entire pregnancy.

I was eventually put onto hospital bed rest at 27 weeks gestation, for daily fetal monitoring and stress tests. Though I found ways to pass the time and I tried to remain positive, the almost two months I spent at the hospital were some of the darkest days of my life.
I delivered via C-section when Elizabeth and Hannah were at just 33.5 weeks gestation. They weighed less than four pounds each and were immediately whisked away to the NICU, where Elizabeth stayed for a little over three weeks before coming home. Hannah had open heart surgery on October 3rd, 2012. Ultimately, her body could not support her condition, and she passed away in my arms the morning of October 4th.

When Hannah died, I descended into hell on earth. My sadness and grief consumed me, and I completely disconnected from Elizabeth. I suffered horrific postpartum depression and anxiety, and it took almost a year of biweekly counseling, along with medication, to finally begin the healing process and start to fall in love with my daughter.

Today, I am better, but I will always feel incomplete and deeply sad over our loss. I will never fully recover from the fact that, instead of bringing two beautiful little girls home from the hospital in car seat carriers, one of my children came home in an urn. The reality of this fact haunts and torments me at all times, but I have to choose to be strong and move forward, for my own wellbeing and that of my family.

Losing a child is said to be the most unnatural thing in the world. Perhaps it is for that reason that so many people struggle with knowing what to say or do when someone they know loses a child, whether that be through miscarriage, still birth or infant loss. In my experience, the most common things people have said to me over the years are: “She is in a better place now;” “Everything happens for a reason;” “God must have had other plans for her;” and “At least you have your other daughters.”

I know that when people make these types of statements, their heart is in the right place and they only have the best of intentions. But I would say that in general, it is best to steer away from these types of comments, especially if you are unsure about a person’s religious beliefs. I myself personally am of the Christian faith, but even then, it still stings when someone infers that your child, whom you would give anything to see and hold, is somehow “better off” not physically here with you.

Hannah

Leslie and her family honor Hannah’s life every year with a lantern release over Lake Erie.

For that reason, I would say that the safest thing you can say to a parent who has lost a child would be some sort of variation of the following: “I’m so sorry for your loss. Please know that you are thought of often and supported.” Short, simple, and to the point, and virtually no potential for offense.

Another way to show support for someone who has lost a child is by simply acknowledging the child’s existence. Some people think this will cause pain for the parent, but for myself personally, anytime someone mentions Hannah’s name or recognizes that we have three children and not just two, I feel that Hannah is being honored and validated.

It also means a lot to me when people make comments about the pictures of Hannah that we have throughout our home, or when they recognize that September 12th is not just Elizabeth’s birthday, but Hannah’s as well. Yes, there are painful reminders, but by and large, I find that other grieving parents like myself want to acknowledge our children and find ways to keep their memory alive.

If you know someone who has lost a child, just know that showing your love and sympathy and support, whatever that may look like – whether by giving a much needed hug or shoulder to cry on, or by simply sitting with that that person and being there for them – is always the right thing to do.

IMG_7979Leslie Froelich is a freelance writer and co-founder of a postpartum depression support group in the Cleveland, Ohio area, run through the organization POEM (Perinatal Outreach and Encouragement for Moms). She is a stay at home mom to two daughters, Elizabeth and Maggie, as well as two cats, and has been married to her spouse, Nick, since 2007.

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Wish Jacob a Happy Birthday!

June 28 By American Greetings

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Sometimes getting a birthday card is all it takes to turn a bad day into a good day. That’s exactly how Jacob Priestley feels. Jacob is a 13-year-old from Arizona who suffers from mitochondrial disease, a rare life-threatening illness that has weakened every cell in his body.

We’re pulling together a fun birthday package for him, but we need your help!  This year, Jacob is asking for cards from people around the world. Help us fill his mailbox with birthday wishes by adding your name to one of our cards.

EDIT 7/25/16 – In order for the cards to be printed and mailed to Jacob, this submission form is no longer available.

Thank you for helping us  brighten Jacob’s day by letting him know just how many people care for him and wish him a very happy birthday!

 

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